I can tell how heartbroken you are right now, and I feel your pain. But, you need not worry anymore because I’ve been there and I made it happen; I married my ex. I’m sure that made you feel lighter. Breakups sometimes do not last forever.
Not every relationship ends in marriage, and not every love relationship has a sweet story all the way. Some are bittersweet or sour-sweet. So you have to be prepared against all odds.
How to get your ex back? There are a couple of things you can do to achieve this, but the first thing to do is do not get in touch with them. No calls, emails, avoid social media, and just avoid them completely.
The rule stated above may seem directly opposite to the result we are trying to achieve, but you will know why you should avoid them at all costs as you read further. For how long, you may ask? I’d say 30 days minimum.
How To Win Your Ex-Boyfriend Back
Just in case you are wondering if you are on the right page, let me help you a little.
What happens most times after a breakup is that you go through a period of pain. While you are going through this, you find so many questions going through your mind. Questions like:
- Am I single again?
- Who is my partner with?
- Is he or she missing me?
You begin to replay moments you had in your head and try to remember conversations that ensued between you to find out where you went wrong.
But never mind, it’s part of the process. I’d be sharing a couple of tips on how to win your ex back.
1. Do Not Contact Them
There is usually this temptation of wanting to reach out to your ex immediately. This isn’t the right thing to do. You have been hurt, and your trust is broken, so the first thing to do should be to return to yourself and have a meeting with yourself.
Regardless of whatever reasons you have, either she left her stuff in your place or there is something you have always wanted to talk to her about.
Please, this is bad timing, don’t make that call, send that message or try stalking them on social media. Why should I not do this, you may ask?
Give yourself time to heal. Give your ex space to also miss you. Don’t get in the way or be in their face.
Your absence will make them face reality and help them really think about their actions. Should you come back tomorrow, they won’t say you pressured them into coming back to you.
Talking and hanging out with them won’t make you face reality early enough. You may develop a false sense of intimacy and think all is well, meanwhile your ex feels otherwise.
Let your ex also try to imagine what you are also up to, let them have nightmares or dreams of you being with another (I’m not mischievous), and begin thinking of the times you shared ( no harm intended).
You may ask, am I going to be like this without any contact? I’d say yes, so you can get good results, but I suggest a minimum of 30 days (the period it takes to form a habit); if you still feel like reaching out after now, then you can send a simple “hi, how are you doing?”
And watch the response but what if the response hits you badly? Won’t it be better if you let sleeping dogs lie so you don’t reopen healing wounds?.
Perhaps you have even broken the rule already by reaching out to your ex; what do you do? Don’t be too hard on yourself.
Begin again, avoid any form of contact. And if they try reaching out to you. Tell them you would like to be alone for now. Do not be harsh or say it like you are taking an act of revenge. Let them know your mental health matters to you, and you will like to heal quickly.
What if you run into them? By this, I mean you are not stalking them or hanging out in spots where you used to be an item, but if you happen to run into them, Don’t start up a conversation, pretend if you have to but show up fine.
A simple, cheerful hi will do the magic. Endeavor to get away from them as quickly as possible so a discussion about your dead and gone relationship doesn’t pop up.
2. Think Deeply
I have been thinking, you may say, but I can assure you that you have not taken out time to think deeply. You have been mourning your loss only but have not taken a retrospect of your life and how things have been in your relationship.
It’s time to clean those tears, take a deep breath and look back to the time you spent with your ex. You need to ask yourself some soul-searching questions.
- Is she really the ideal girl for me?
- Have I lost myself all in a bid of trying to be with her?
- Were your deepest needs met?
- Were you in it for your family or is it what you have always wanted?
See your ex as they are, not as you expect them to be. You will be shocked to realize that you have been dreaming all this while.
When my ex left me initially, I sat down and saw a couple of things I didn’t want to see in my future husband or the father of my kids.
I was deliberate in preparing for my next man and would make sure I watch out for those things. Luckily when my ex came back, we talked about those things, and he saw reasons with me. We walked down the aisle eventually after sorting out our dark areas.
Being apart for a while and thinking deep, made me realize I had to tell myself the truth. You may need to do the same too.
3. Have A Recovery Plan
You may be shocked at reading this as it appears to be directly opposite to what we want to achieve, but you are my focus because until you are whole, you may never be the same again.
Have a plan: go back to your diary, take a look at the qualities you wanted in a real man/woman, work towards being that person you wrote down so that when your ex returns( if they do), they will find you better than they left you.
4. Move On
Can you take your mind away from how to get your ex back to how you are going to move on?
Now, there’s a huge possibility that your ex may not want to come back, and if that’s the case, how do you handle it?
You shouldn’t sit around, placing your life on hold while you wait for your ex to return. Hope deferred makes the heart sick; why not buckle up and walk away from remaining in self-pity and crying your eyes out.
You have done enough of that already; it’s time to move on. It’s time to go into the future ahead of you.
The next question is, how do you move on?
5. Get A Life
It’s normal to dredge up memories and begin to think, remember times spent together, and wish they never ended, but it won’t do you good. Replace those thoughts with work. Get busy.
Get back to family and friends. Get back to your support system. Enjoy all the love and attention you can get; you will be fine.
You should get busy because if you don’t, you may begin to nurse a false hope of your ex returning, and it may not happen. Why hurt yourself?
Get out there, make friends. Distract yourself with thoughts that constantly remind you of your ex. Do those things you enjoyed doing. When you get busy, you will have no time to miss or even think of their absence.
Once you arrive at the point of happiness with yourself, you will hardly think of him, and when you do, you will not feel hurt anymore. So you should do everything possible to begin to live your best life now.
Go to the spa, go for a makeover, go shopping, just take care of yourself. Doing all of this will take the stress of thinking off you; you will be reminded that you can face life with or without your ex; it will reconnect you with your core and help you discover the beautiful relationship you missed having.
Now you know that the best is meant for you and life can hand you several chances at love.
You will eventually attract your kind when you let go. And if your ex comes back, they should meet you better than they left you.
6. Work On You
Begin to read books on making you a better person. Connect with yourself, take stock of your character, self-worth, and esteem.
Reading the right books helps you see yourself differently and enables you to know what you can do to change. Go for counseling if you need to.
7. Take Care Of Your Body
It’s possible you have never really thought about this, but it will do you a whole lot of good. Eat well, exercise, and take care of your skin. Eat fruits also.
8. Don’t Try To Make Your Ex Jealous
Some people miss it at this point. They begin hanging out and making it obvious that they don’t care. They put up a false front and begin splashing pictures of new relationships on social media.
This is a no-no. After all, even if your ex has the intention of coming back, you will lose them because you will make them feel you don’t need them anymore.
Don’t lie to yourself by putting up a false front and soaking your pillow with tears at night. Just let things happen gradually.
9. You May Want To Reconnect Now
Reconnecting sounds pretty good, but I’ve had clients get to this point and decide they don’t want to, because they feel they deserve someone better. But if this isn’t you, take a look at some things to consider before making the move of reconnecting with your ex.
- Are you healed emotionally?
- Are feelings of hatred, anger, or even bitterness towards your ex lurking around?
- Are you going back for the right reasons?
Most times, when partners seem to reconnect, they may do so out of loneliness, the need to prove a point, revenge, or out of pity. Be sure that you are not seeking to reconnect with your ex because of any of the above. - What if they don’t want you back?
If you are not ready to answer this particular question, then it means you are not ready.
Will you break down if they don’t want you back, or will you accept it in good faith, knowing you tried your best?
10. Make The Move
Now you are good to go. At this point, it’s totally up to you. For the first time, there are no rules.
Just follow your heart but endeavor to keep things as casual as possible. Don’t appear beggarly but come from the standpoint of a whole person.
Now that you are fully rested, you can engage your ex in a healthy conversation devoid of any form of resentment.
Get into a relaxed mode; remember you are valuable and not just fit for anyone. Maintain high standards and see if your ex truly deserves your friendship again.
Don’t get stuck settling for less; if they don’t fit into your ideal mate, kindly know where to draw the line a walk away.
You have the power to choose; you are no longer the victim here. You can’t talk anyone into changing by you can decide who is worth being with.
Begin again with no promises and watch how things unfold. Don’t settle for less or choose to manage.
I agree that there are some weaknesses you will have to live with, but please choose your battles. Don’t enable bad behavior because you want to be in a relationship.
Perhaps you don’t know how to go about talking with your ex; let me help with some ideas.
- Be free
- Don’t talk about the relationship and how it ended or even talk of coming back together.
- Don’t come across to them as if you missed them, be normal.
- If you must send messages, avoid emojis or messages that tell that you are lonely, I advise people to avoid sending messages. Allow your ex space; if they need you, they will get in touch.
- Treat them as friends if they are people you will love to have among your circle of friends but if not, let them go.
Perhaps you have been chatting or talking over the phone. You could ask harmlessly, Do you think it will be a nice idea for us to hang out? The answer to this question from your ex will let you know if you can be hopeful.
Don’t consider going to the movies or a dinner date yet; the environment may put you under pressure; you can begin by taking walks.
Don’t be pressured into dating, Just enjoy the moment. Don’t bother your head thinking about if they want you back or if you can win them back. Let things develop naturally.
How To Get Your Girlfriend Back After She Has Moved On
But before that, in all honesty, don’t you think your ex would have come back for you if they wanted you? Why would they move on so quickly?
Why not watch and see if this relationship works before making a move? My candid opinion will be that you move on also, you can’t make her come back if she doesn’t want to.
Remember, the whole catch is to stay whole regardless of what happens and don’t begin to hope too soon that she will come back. In addition to the points stated above, you can try these:
- Keep in touch with your ex often.
- Don’t make it obvious that you want her back, engage in harmless conversations
- Note that one thing that made her leave and improve herself.
- Make appearances to her friends and let them see and know how much you have changed.
- Avoid speaking negatively about them
How To Make Your Ex Want You Back Quickly
A few tips to help you.
- Move on with your life
- Get active on social media, update beautiful pictures of you and how well you are doing
- Try achieving a feat. Do something you have always wanted to do but couldn’t accomplish.
How To Make Your Ex-Boyfriend Want You Back After He Broke Up With You
In addition to the steps above, ask yourself if your man will want to come back?
Ask yourself if there’s any reason why your ex may not want to come back and fix it.
One bonus item: in the course of my research, I stumbled upon a quiz that will help you know if your ex wants you back and if you can also take them in.
I saved the best for last, you can say that again.
Hobbies (Quiz)
Will We Get Back Together Quiz
Take this quiz to discover if you and your ex will be able to ignite the love you once felt for each other. Answer the following questions about your current interactions with your ex and receive your results immediately.
1. Think About When You Were In A Relationship With Your Ex. Which Of These Best Describes Your Thoughts?
- It was the best time of your life.
- You loved him/her, but there were a lot of things that annoyed you about him/her.
- You don’t ever want to think about the relationship.
- You think back to all the good times, but the bad times overshadow them.
2. When You See Your Ex, What Happens?
- Your ex walks the other way hoping not to talk to you.
- Your ex smiles, and you talk to each other for a while.
- You say hello to each other and then go on your way.
- You end up making out with your ex and then regretting it afterwards.
3. How Often Do You Speak To Your Ex?
- Every day
- Every other day
- Once a week
- When you see each other
4. Are You Or Your Ex Seeing Someone Right Now?
- Yes
- No
5. When You Talk To Your Ex, What Do You Talk About?
- You talk about work, friends, and anything else worth mentioning.
- You talk about the relationship and why it ended.
- You discuss the reasons why your ex screwed up the relationship.
- You end up arguing over something your ex says.
6. Do You Hold Resentment Toward Your Ex?
- Yes
- No
7. How Did You And Your Ex Handle Conflict In The Relationship?
- You were able to resolve the issue and walk away from the conflict with minimal resentment.
- You often had issues but never argued about them.
- Arguments happened, but there was never a resolution.
- You never had any problems and never had to argue.
8. Do You Consider Your Ex Your Friend Since You Two Have Broken Up?
- Yes
- We still need to talk about some things from time to time
- Not at all
9. Do You Think That You Are Feeling Lonely Even When You Are Not Alone?
- Yes
- Not really
- Not at all
10. What Is The Real Reason For Your Breakup?
- Situational
- Intentional
- Cheating
11. Can You Still See Yourself With Your Ex A Decade From Now?
- Yes, definitely
- I can probably see my ex with me for a few years
- Not really
12. What Is The Circumstance Whenever You Miss Your Ex?
- All the time, even when I am feeling accomplished
- Sometimes, when I feel lonely
- Whenever I feel that I have no one to talk to
13. Who Ended The Relationship?
- You
- It was a mutual thing
- Your ex
14. How Long Ago Was The Breakup?
- Just recently
- A few months ago
- More than a year ago
15. Have You Dated Other People Since Then?
- No
- Yes. But nothing lasted for more than a few dates
- You have met someone new
16. Has Your Ex Dated Other People Since Then?
- No
- You are not sure
- Yes
17. Did Any Of You Cheat When You Were Still In Relationship?
- No
- Flirted but not cheated
- Yes
Conclusion
I’m sure you are eager to know what your scoring sheet looks like. Well, if your positive answers are more, then there is a possibility of a comeback.
If the negatives were more, it means there’s no hope of a comeback if you seemed to be in the middle(how neutral). You may need to take a look at your relationship with your ex again. It may happen or may not happen.
Relationships don’t need to be tedious; understanding is one of the things that make it work. Most times, love is never really enough. You are already heartbroken; avoid a repeat by thinking over what you want in a mate and follow it through.
Finding love is possible, and it may be in your ex or someone out there waiting for you.
Save this for later!
