The thoughts of being in a romantic relationship with the love of your life while appearing glossy and all is not often as easy as many women think it is. This moment you are putting on your best behavior to impress him and make him love you more.
Next, you are spending large amounts of time on Google learning to prepare his favorite meal and wow him with your culinary skills, and next, you are over-talking during your date nights in a bid to assure him you are a great conversationalist. But, do you know some of your seemingly harmless actions could amount to a turn-off for men?
Before trying to impress your man and blind his eyes to the appeal of other women, you must endeavor to understand what kind of behavior, attitude, or action could constitute a turn off for men.
So, ask yourself, what can turn a man off? Or, what are some turn offs in a relationship? Getting the answers to these will guide you on the best behavior to put out there so you don’t get on the wrong side of your man.
So many times, guys have been found complaining about frustrating habits their women display – habits ranging from dressing shabbily, talking endlessly, or trying to make their date jealous.
While we understand that most of these habits are not intentionally done, they could be sending the wrong message to a potential lover; more like a huge turn off for men.
Have you wondered why a man who initially looked at you like you were a 21st century Cinderella suddenly acts awkward around you? Or why that man who you thought you’d hit it with on the first date seem to be ghosting you lately?
To be honest, it is exasperating, frustrating, and annoying. After so many experiences, some women start considering if they are unworthy of love. If you have thought along these lines, I want you to know that you are special, you are sweet and you are very much capable of finding true love.
Like many women, you may just have been oblivious to the subtle biggest turn offs for guys. You might have had nice intentions, but adopted the wrong approach. But don’t worry, in this article, I will be breaking down the ten biggest turn off for men.
I will be enlightening you on the best habits to adopt, attitudes and behaviors to discard and the greatest hints to be wary of so you don’t turn that lovely man you want to be in a relationship with off.
If you are ready, let’s dive right into some of the things that turn men off.
1. Being Too Clingy And Needy
When you love someone, you naturally want them to be happy. You want them to experience what it means to love and be loved. You want to fill them with your essence and always be around for them.
But while this is applaudable, it can eventually translate into being too clingy, and this is the number one turn off for men. Yes, he loves you and wants to spend time with you.
But when you are always putting yourself all over him, calling him every hour of the day, or texting him as soon as his online profile shows he is active, it paints you as desperate and sets an alarm off in his head.
Every man wants to feel wanted. They want to get the assurance that the love is mutual; they want the sense of security that comes with their woman expressing her love for them. But don’t go overboard in your bid to impress him. Love, but love properly.
2. Talking About Your Future Together Too Soon
It’s perfectly normal to want to feel safe in a relationship. Nobody wants to waste their time dating someone who isn’t interested in something long-term. But while it is okay to ask your partner questions about their ideal future, planning a future together with him when you are only meeting for the third time is wrong.
Not only is it awkward, but it also sends a message that you are poor at setting priorities and no man wants a woman who shows this trait.
Interestingly, while this particular point is a huge turn off for men, it is also quite easy to fix. Simply refrain from getting ahead of yourself by planning for a long-term future until things get official. Relationships are like a marathon that must be steadily run. So, don’t count your eggs before they hatch.
3. Using Your Phone More Than You Talk To Him
A lot of women are especially guilty of this particular habit. Spending an outrageous amount of time on your phone during moments you are supposed to be relating or conversing with your partner is one of the biggest turns off for a man.
Imagine you are out on a first date with a man. Understandably, you would feel antsy and nervous. But instead of gluing your eyes to your phone, scrolling through Facebook, or watching old pictures and videos, you’ve seen a hundred times before on your gallery, why not try to flow along with him.
Leaving him to do all the talking is undesirable. It is supposed to be a conversation, not a lecture. What if this situation doesn’t apply to you? What if you already have a boyfriend whose place you occasionally spend time at? How do you behave when around him?
Do you check and reply to endless texts, or play around Instagram, exploring the numerous features on the platform? What do you think this attitude communicates to your guy?
It tells him that you value your phone more than spending quality time with him. And when a man thinks he’s of little value to you, he won’t stay around for a long time.
4. Trying To Make Him Jealous By Flirting With Other Men
A turn off for men you must be aware of is how you act around other guys. Do you intentionally try to belittle your man to prove your worth or make him jealous? This is something you must avoid.
Once more, it paints a picture of a spoilt, immature kid. Men want women who are emotionally stable and who possess the ability to process their feelings in the right manner – even when they feel slighted – without resorting to childish tantrums.
Trying to get your man’s attention by flirting with other men ridicules you and puts you in the wrong light. He might be smiling at you at that moment, but deep down, he’s already made a decision about you, and it’s not nice.
If you have got an issue you need clarity on, pick the right time to speak with him. Pour out your feelings to him carefully, without appearing defeated, and he will definitely try to make amends.
5. Endlessly Yapping About Yourself
Another turn off for men to be wary of shows itself in how you present yourself. Imagine being on a first date and talking so much that the only time the man has to talk is the brief pauses you give when you need to take a short drink or when you forget something. This is borderline crazy!
Yes, I have espoused the need to flow with the conversation by being an active participant, but I didn’t say you need to hijack the entire conversation.
When a woman constantly talks about herself without bothering to find out important details about the man she’s with, it makes the man see her as a narcissistic talkative.
That is someone who not only admires themselves excessively but who also talks tirelessly. This is a scary combination, and definitely, not one many guys will be looking forward to.
6. Wearing Too Much Makeup
Have I talked about the essence of being yourself even trying to create an impression? Well, here you have. Men do not fancy women who like to go past reasonable bounds to please them by either painting a different picture of themselves or putting on a performance. This applies to your makeup as well.
A little make-up on your date is cool, but wearing too much makeup tips the scale against you and falls among some of the physical turn offs for men. Men like it when women look natural. So even if you are going to apply some makeup to smoothen your face, ensure it is moderate.
7. Asking Too Many Questions On A First Date
What do you do? Where are you from? Where did you school? What are you looking for? When’s your birthday? What was your longest relationship? Have you been previously married? Do you want kids in the future? Where do you see us in five years?
Imagine a first date filled with so many questions. It is NO for any man, not even the most patient, and understanding.
You are probably trying to assess his qualities to know if he’s the right fit for you, but don’t you think he is doing the same with you? Asking all these questions and others on a first date will throw any man off balance.
Rather than these, try to focus on the intangible features that exist between you both. Do you feel comfortable around him? Does he think and look smart? Does he make you laugh? Is he attractively nervous? There will be time to ask questions, no doubt. So, do not be too quick to harass him with them.
8. Always Talking About Men You Previously Dated
You might have had a really poor dating history, but it doesn’t give you the license to always bring up your exes at every given opportunity. Saying things like “My last boyfriend always…” or “My ex-husband was really…” sends a message that you are either not totally over your ex or you are a terrible moaner.
No man wants to be compared to an ex. Sure, they may be cool with listening to some of the highlights of your previous relationship, but going on and on about your ex could be quite harrowing.
But what if the things I’m saying about my ex are all horrible? It would make him glad, right?
Well, nobody deserves to be talked about negatively, not even your ex. And instead of being glad that you are totally over your ex, he might be wondering what you would say about him to other people if your relationship fails.
9. Never Showing Gratitude
One turn off for men which many women fail to see is their reaction to the very little things he does for them. How appreciative are you when he calls to check up on you while at work? When he rushes over when you are emotionally drained. Or when he buys your favorite candy on his way home.
Some women can become ungrateful, especially when their partner does nice things for them often. His actions become ordinary and expected so much so that they forget the importance of gratitude and appreciation. And I don’t need to tell you what happens when a person feels less valued.
10. Taking Your Overboard With Selfies
Now, this particular point could be subjective. That is, to one guy it could be a turn-off while another guy may find it sweet. However, most guys are irritated when women take selfies ALL THE TIME.
When you are bathing, you take a selfie; when you are on the bed with him, you take a selfie; when you are out on a date, you take a selfie; when he is driving; you are taking a selfie; when he is saying something important to you; you are lost in your selfie moment. He may feel you are not ready for something important and could leave you in favor of someone who is.
Something you must have noticed about all the points mentioned above is that they border on excessiveness. I am not asking you not to wear make-up or not to take selfies, but ensure you are at them moderately.
Whether your relationship is months old or just about to kick off, make sure you don’t throw caution to the wind. These steps will help you achieve just that.
Sharing is caring!