How To Find True Love No Matter Your Past Experienced

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The thought of how to find true love gives a lot of people, both male and female, a sleepless night. Some people still ask if they will be lucky or opportune to find true love?

While others think that true love is a thing of luck, some go to the extent of thinking that finding true love is not for them, while others use the phrase “who will find true love, will find it”.

I once had a conversation with a friend about this same topic, and when I asked her, “how can one find true love” her response was, “True love is not meant for everyone; not everyone is born to find true love” Hmm, was my response to her at that point. Allow me to take you through my thoughts on how to “find true love”.

If there is one thing in life every human being deserves is true love, to be loved despite imperfections and flaws. Love is a beautiful thing.

It is an expression that can’t be modified, a feeling that has no boundaries; it has no ill-thought, it is pure and spotless, that is love for you.

Finding true love is not a thing of luck or destiny it is all about our mindset and how positive we are about finding true love. You can find true love, and yes, I mean it you can find that true love.

I will be giving some tips or, let me say, some secrets to finding true love. Now, do me a favor get a comfortable position while I walk you through these points of finding true love. There are certain points to consider


How Do I Find True Love And Happiness?

Love and happiness are for everyone. It’s not for a particular set of people. It’s not for the rich; it’s not for those suffering; it’s for everyone.

There are days when you don’t feel it, but it’s the truth. The key to finding love and happiness is most often about changing your perspective.

It’s easy to be held back by your belief system that love isn’t meant for you. Unfortunately, many people have learned from society and have created their ideas about love and happiness from things like movies and toxic experiences which are far from reality.

It’s clear that movies and reality aren’t alike, and looking up to movie standards creates unrealistic expectations for life. It’s hard to recognize what true love or happiness is when you are comparing it to what movies portray it to be.

Also, it’s important to understand that neither love nor happiness means perfection. You can’t be happy every second of every minute of every hour of the day.

Even if you have learned how to be happy and you have earned love, it’s still imperfect. “There will still be difficult times in life, and it would be unrealistic to think that you will just be happy through these times.

However, just because you don’t feel happy all the time doesn’t mean that you are not a happy person.

There are basic things that you need to know about love and happiness; in the next lines, I will outline some of these things to enable you to have a different mindset about love and happiness.


1.  Love Yourself First

You don’t expect to be loved by someone else when you don’t love yourself as an individual.

Self-love is crucial, telling someone to love you when you don’t love yourself is just like asking the person to do the most difficult thing in your life. When you don’t love yourself, how do you expect somebody to love you?


2.  Realize That Failure Isn’t You

You must separate your belief about yourself from what you do. It’s a common saying that to err is human.

Nobody is perfect, and it’s normal to make mistakes in every aspect of life. But, unfortunately, it’s obvious in our society today that failure has been turned into something to be afraid of.

We experience failure in our relationship life, and we allow it to change our opinion about ourselves. We begin to believe that we can’t do something else because we have failed once.

We believe that love isn’t for us because we have failed at it once or so many times. You can change your ideology about failure, it is just a step toward success when handled correctly.

Think about what you could do differently to not fail in the same way again in the future. You can learn from it instead of letting it define you.

Learn to separate who you are from what you do. Even if you make mistakes or you don’t make mistakes, you can still be happy with who you are.


3.  Let Go Of The Past

Holding on to the past is one of the stumbling blocks to finding happiness because it gives you every reason not to feel good about yourself and the present.

If you aren’t happy about the present, there is no way you can attract happiness and love to yourself. You can’t attract what you don’t have.

You have to use the law of attraction to your advantage here. Holding onto the past can impact you in a few different ways.

You aren’t going to find love and happiness if you spend your time feeling bad about who you are and what you did years ago. Positive energy attracts positive!

It’s okay to acknowledge and take responsibility for anything that you need to from your past, make corrections and, simply move forward no matter how unforgiving it might be.

Accept that you are a different person now and forgive yourself for every wrong. There is no reason to hold yourself back from happiness because of things from the past.


4.  Stop Expecting Perfection

Remember that perfection is not the goal, and it’s not possible. If you have perfectionist tendencies, it is important to learn how to overcome them.

A lot of people think that being a perfectionist is a good thing, but when you try to make everything perfect, you will put unrealistic expectations on yourself and others.

We are all people, and we all are imperfect. It will be impossible for you to be happy and love yourself or others if you are expecting perfection.

You will constantly let yourself down, and others will always let you down as well, instead of striving for perfection, focus on striving for growth. While you are never going to be perfect, you can always be growing.


5.  Acknowledge What You Are Good At

Every person on this planet has something or multiple things that they are good at. We all have things that we are naturally talented at, and these are usually the things that we enjoy doing.

When we do these activities, it makes us feel happy. But some people refuse to acknowledge their talent and skills.

Even if they are very good at something, they will deny it when complimented, make excuses, or say something like “anyone could do that.”

If you want to find love and happiness, you need to learn how to acknowledge what you are good at to yourself. You also need to learn to accept a compliment from someone without excusing it away. Instead, simply say, “thank you.”


6.  Keep Track Of Where You Are Succeeding Each Day

If you are struggling to find love and happiness, you might also be struggling to feel like you are successful in life.

A way to overcome this is to start looking at the daily successes that you are having.

These don’t have to be huge accomplishments. Start by writing down several successes that you have at the end of the day.

It could be as simple as writing, “I made my bed this morning,” or, “I took a risk and talked to the person in line behind me at the coffee shop.” Continue to do this every single day.

This simple activity is effective at helping you start to spot things that you are doing well each day. This builds your confidence, which in turn helps you to find love and happiness.


7.  Treat People The Way You Want To Be Treated

This simple advice goes back to your childhood, but it is effective at helping you enjoy the life that you want.

Many times, even if you aren’t happy, if you start taking action and doing nice things for other people it will help you to be happier.

You will always get what you give to people if it’s as simple as making people around you feel good. You’ve probably heard the saying, “it’s better to give than to receive.” This is the same concept.

When you take your focus off of looking for your happiness and love and start to focus on others, you will see people reciprocating back.


How To Find True Love Quiz

Below is a list of questions and possible answers based on one’s ideas.

Questions 1 
What is your definition of True love?
Making out
Meeting your financial needs

Questions 2
Do you think that you deserve True love?
Probably yes

Questions 3
Do you enjoy spending time alone?
Most of the time

Questions 4

Do you think that life is misery when you do not love?
Not really
Not at all

Questions 5
What do you think about your appearance? Are you good-looking/beautiful?
Yeah, I guess
I’m fabulous, babe

Questions 6
Are you afraid of being rejected?
A little bit
I’m terrified
I’m not afraid at all

Questions 7
Do you think that some people do not deserve you?
Not really

Questions 8

What would you do if you ended up with a toxic partner?
I’d end the relationship
I’d try to change my partner
I’d never give a second chance to that person

Questions 9
Did your mom and dad love each other?
Kind of
I don’t know

Questions 10
Have you ever wanted to change a part of your body to make yourself more attractive?
I don’t think so

Questions 11
Do you try to look more attractive and hotter than you are on your first date?
I’ve done it before
Yes, I always do that
No, never

Questions 12

What is the most important thing for you on the first date?
The vibes
The way my date looks at me
My feelings

Questions 13
Have you ever been like, “Wow, I look good in this outfit/dress?
I guess yeah
No, never
I’m always like that

Questions 14
Do you think that others compliment you because they feel sorry for you?
I don’t know

Questions 15
What is your reaction when you feel like someone is flirting with you?
I try to keep up
I change the subject
I flirt back (if I like them)

Questions 16
Are you comfortable with complimenting others around you?
Most of the time
Yes, I enjoy that

Questions 17

Who deserves love? (In your opinion).
I don’t know
Those who work hard for it

Questions 18
Do you think that we only have one chance in our lives to find true love?
That’s just horseshit

Questions 19
Do you believe that finding love requires time and effort?
Kind of
Yes, absolutely

Questions 20
And finally, do you love yourself? (Be honest).
I guess I do
No, I don’t
Yes, I do


When Will I Find My Soulmate?

A soulmate is someone who is attracted to, and who feels connected with your soul. Some people have different definitions of who a soulmate is.

A soulmate can be described as the “other half” because a soulmate is often that person who completes you irrespective of the differences.

When you meet your soulmate for the first time, it’s normal to feel a strong connection like you have been with that person before.

Vulnerability characterizes this type of meeting, and yet, it does not make up for any regrets later on through the interaction.

Many people say the relationship feels familiar, as if you and this person may have crossed paths before even in different bodies.


How Do You Meet Your Soulmate?

Some people say it’s luck; others say it’s destiny. You just have to be at the right place at the right time. No time or date or venue has been fixed to find your soulmate.


How Will I Meet The Love Of My Life?

You can’t entirely know how you can meet the love of your life, but there are things that you can do to position yourself in a favorable position to meet the love of your life.
Here they are;

  • Work on fully discovering and loving yourself.
  • Be vulnerable with the rest of the world about the self you’re finding and refining.
  • Stop holding people at arm’s length.
  • Be willing to love someone else for all of who they are.


How To Find Love

1.  The ‘You’ll Find Love When You’re Not Looking’ Approach May Be Wrong

That’s like saying, “You’ll find a job when you’re least looking for it,” said Pepper Schwartz, a relationship expert and sociology professor at the University of Washington. It’s possible but rarely happens.

“For the most part, people who wait for a job are unemployed,” she added. “For me, it’s just an excuse for being scared to go and put the effort in. Yes, it happens, but no, it’s not a good strategy.”

Schwartz does agree with the underlying sentiment of that saying: Don’t be desperate. Put the effort in to find someone, but don’t act like any breathing body will do.


2.  Go Where People Like The Same Things You Like

You can skip singles events if you don’t like them, but you have to go where you can meet people, Schwartz advised. Join social groups or meet-ups; be a worker bee in a cause you believe in; get involved in political parties.

At the very least, you’re doing something you like, and at the very best, you’ll meet somebody like-minded.

Bite the bullet and try online dating for a big pool of potential candidates, Schwartz added. If you’re already online, try a different dating site.


3.  Look Up From Your Phone

Good men and good women are everywhere — if you’re looking, noted Bela Gandhi, a TODAY contributor and founder of the Smart Dating Academy in Chicago. She’s amazed people often complain they don’t meet anyone, but then go out and keep their heads down the entire time, staring at their devices.

Wherever you are, be present and look around the room to see who is looking at you. Make three seconds of eye contact with the cute stranger and smile — that’s an invitation for him to come over and talk to you, she advised.


4.  Don’t Seek Romance, Seek Partnership

Romance is for dates, and it’s fun to have on occasion in your marriage, but it’s a partnership that will get you through the rough times, said Tina B. Tessina, a California psychotherapist also known as “Dr Romance” and author of “How to be Happy Partners: Working it out Together.”

“Don’t look for someone who sweeps you off your feet. That indicates a control freak, and you won’t like what happens later,” she advised. “Look for someone who likes give-and-take, who seeks your opinion and considers it, who cares about what you want, too.”


5.  Happy People Attract People

Maybe the biggest issue in not being able to find love is that you’re not feeling good about yourself. Like yourself and like your life — really work on that, Schwartz advised. You have to be the person that you’d want to meet.

“If you’re not a happy, positive, self-confident person, you cut your chances of being in the right space for the right kind of person,” she said.

Go to a therapist to see why you’re depressed; get a trainer if you haven’t been exercising, and visit a nutritionist to begin eating right. If you’re shy, realize you could be less shy.


6.  Take Time To Be By Yourself

It’s important after a divorce or any break-up after a long relationship to take some time to be alone, said Nicole Baras Feuer, a divorce coach with Start Over Smart in Westport, Connecticut.

“You will be in better shape to meet the ‘right’ person if you have time to heal, spend time alone to figure out who you are again, reflect on what went wrong,” Feuer said. “So you don’t repeat the same mistakes over and over again.”


7.  Instant Sensual Attraction Often Fades

Most good love is a slow burn — it takes a while to develop, Gandhi said. She believes attraction is important, but you don’t have to feel it right away since that instant spark is more about lust and less about the stuff of real relationships.
Emotion can change and deepen over time so give people a fair shot, Feuer added.

8.  Beware Of The ‘Opposites Attract’ Theory

Opposites attract at first, but they’ll likely face major friction points down the road.
Like-minded people make for easier and healthy long-term relationships, said Dr Gail Saltz, a New York psychiatrist. The more you see eye-to-eye on, the less there is to argue and compromise about.


9.  Become A ‘Psychotic Optimist’

“That means you believe at any cost that you’re going to find that love; love is meant for you, and it will come to you so that you just have to date like hell until you find it,” Gandhi said.

You have to embrace the process of dating, so adopting a “psychotic optimist” mindset will make it more fun once you’re convinced true love is really out there for you. Gandhi recommends dating three to five people at the same time until you find one to be exclusive with.

Dating means “casually getting to know,” not sleeping with someone. She advises not making love until you’re in a committed, exclusive relationship.


10.  Understand Your Own Needs

Do you need a lot of space? Desire lots of affection? Have to know what’s going on all the time?

“Whatever your style is, it’s OK, but you need to know it and be able to communicate it to your future spouse. You can train each other if you both know what you need,” Tessina said.


11.  Know The Difference Between Fooling Around And Building A Real Relationship

“You can mess around with anyone if you’re careful and have safe Intercourse,” Tessina noted. “But before you bring someone into your life, or share money or living space, remember they’re bringing baggage.”

The person you’re dating is on their best behavior, in the beginning, she advised. It gets worse later, not better, so get to know what’s hidden before going too far.


12.  Stop Pining For Someone Unavailable

Make yourself understand that holding on to somebody who isn’t interested or isn’t there for you is harmful, and move on.

“You have to see that as a big dark black pit that you have to climb out of or you’ll be buried in it,” Schwartz advised.


The Secret To Finding True Love

The love of your life. Your soul mate. Your life partner. That special someone. Whether we admit it or not, many of us are seeking to find our perfect complement.

We crave having someone by our side who will love us through our moments of imperfection and share the memories of our lives with us.

Love is no fairy tale, so you can stop looking for a perfect “10” who fulfils all the qualifications on your wish list. However, it is possible to find someone to stand by your side, brave the messiness of the world, and help you experience life to its fullest potential.

How do you set the foundation to attract this kind of love in your life? Here are 5 secrets to get you started


1.  Be Authentic

To find real love, you must first emphasize your true self. If you want someone to love you through your moments of imperfection, you must first be willing to do that for someone else.

Be real with yourself, so you are ready for someone else’s authenticity. What makes you happy? What do you want out of life? It’s easy to get caught in a pattern of pleasing others and doing what seems popular or “normal” at the time.

If you shift your personality, passions, or purpose to appease another person, you are not your true self. People are attracted to authenticity. Get to know yourself, love yourself, and learn to act and speak authentically.


2.  Be Your Best Self

Though opposites can attract, you must first understand that “like attracts like.” You set the caliber for the individual you want to spend your life with.

You wouldn’t look for a lethargic, gluttonous, stingy complainer with ketchup stains on their shirt, so identify ways to clean up your act first.

Do you want to spend your days with a healthy person who takes care of your body? Then lace up those sneakers and get to the gym yourself! Do you want to surround yourself with a person who sees the best in people and situations?

Then stop complaining! Do you want to find someone who strives to live each day with grace, joy, purpose? And integrity? You get the idea.


3.  Be Confident

Be confident in yourself, your decisions, and your ability to attract love into your life. If you are being your authentic, best self, this confidence will radiate from you in a glow of self-worth. You will attract someone who recognizes, appreciates, and loves who you are.

Foster this confidence by knowing that you are whole and complete just by being you. Understand that a soul mate is nice to have, but not a must-have. You, alone, are enough.


4.  Be Open

If you desire to meet someone new, then you must be willing to connect and open up with the people around you. If someone next to you in the coffee line strikes up a conversation, be willing to engage.

Even if that person is not to be the love of your life, practice openness anyway. Developing this energy of openness will help you facilitate iterations that may lead to lasting relationships.


5.  Be Happy

Perhaps the most important secret of this list is to be happy. Everyone wants to be around happy people; happiness is magnetic. So focus your energy on thinking about and doing the things that make you happy.

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Author: Relationship Culture

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