How To Apologize To Your Boyfriend For Hurting Him

Sharing is caring!

You have probably heard the adage, “To err is human, and to forgive is divine.” This means that no one is perfect or above making mistakes. It is not uncommon for one to make mistakes in a relationship.

What matters is the response of the offender. Both the offender and the offended have a role to play if the relationship will grow past the error.

Some ladies find it hard to apologize when they are wrong, but if you value what you both share then it is necessary to learn how to apologize to your boyfriend when you do him bad.


Why Is An Apology Important?

But what is the big deal about an apology? Does it really change anything? Yes, it does. First of all, an apology shows the person you wronged that you value them and care about how and what they feel.

Apology heals hurt and mends a disconnect that might grow into a big rift. So, when you apologize to your man, it has a way of bringing comfort and healing to him.

An apology can be what will save your relationship (You can also read 12 Ways To Maintain Your Relationship for more tips on how to save your relationship).

An apology can turn the heart of your spouse who may have earlier decided not to have anything to do with you. It could be the difference between a broken relationship and a growing one.

And this is one thing you should be careful to do when apologizing – ensure that the apology is from your heart. Let the apology be sincere. An apology that is devoid of sincerity will not have the desired effect.

If you are tendering an apology, you have to own up to your wrongdoing. Do not lay blame on anyone. Instead, take the hit with your full chest.

You have to take responsibility, admit that you are wrong and then set out to right the wrong if possible. You could also ask the one you offended what you can do to make it up to him.

When Should You Apologize?

Some people retreat and keep to themselves when they realize they hurt someone. This is not the right approach to things. Whenever you realize you have done something wrong, go apologize.

If you discover that you wronged your boyfriend, do not wait till he brings it up. Instead, disarm him with a sincere apology. His fury will most definitely reduce. A soft approach will always turn away anger.

Sometimes, we hurt people we love unintentionally. This is also an avenue for you to ask for forgiveness. It is unwise to apologize because you want peace to reign.

Or because someone is angry with you. Doing this will create the impression that you are easy to manipulate.

It is also necessary to apologize to your boyfriend immediately you sense he is boiling and that you are wrong. A soft word will always turn away anger.

Trying to prove that you had reasons for doing what you did will only worsen the whole situation. So always take the soft approach when you do wrong.

Here is a list of ways you can employ when you want to apologize to your boyfriend.

1.  Listen To Your Boyfriend

Most times, talking when someone you angered is talking will make their anger get worse. Sometimes, it is always best for you to keep quiet and pay attention to what your man is saying.

When people are hurt sometimes, it is good to allow them to let it all out. Let them vent their anger, their frustration, and hurt. This will give you the chance to hear the reason why they are hurt and apologize.

Anger sometimes can be a result of accumulated grievances. When someone is venting, there is every tendency to mention many things that you had done that annoyed them.

They may have kept it within them for a long time till they reached the breaking point. Listen to him at this state. You will learn a lot of things that you do wrong which you need to correct.

This should not be mistaken for ignoring him when he is venting. You listen so you can appropriately word your apology.

2.  Talk To Him In A Calm Manner

Nothing assuages the temper more than calm words. After witnessing your boyfriend fume and listening to all he has to say, the next is to reply calmly. You can sit beside him, look him directly in the eye, and tell him sincere words from your heart.

A gentle ‘Babe, I am so sorry about what I said earlier can work wonders. Speak as gently and slowly as possible. At intervals, take pauses for effect and to make sure that he understands what you are saying.

If you can, hold his hand or touch his shoulder. Touch can be a powerful tool. Some people can be calmed by touch. You can also hug your boyfriend while you are apologizing.

Be careful with touching him, though, as some people can be furious if you touch them when they are annoyed. Just follow your intuition. A look at your boyfriend will show if you should touch him when apologizing or not.

3.  Do Not Trade Blames, Take Responsibility

Many people offer an apology that is not an apology but a barrel of words and blames. The apology is usually half-hearted and seeks to heap the blames on someone else. Women sometimes do this a lot.

If you are going to apologize to anyone, whether they are your significant other or not, do not go off with an apology that has a sentence that points the fingers at someone else.

It would be best if you took total responsibility for your actions. An apology like, ‘I am sorry I yelled at you, but that was because you weren’t paying attention to me is no apology.

This will only infuriate the person more. A better way to word the apology would be, ‘I am sorry that I yelled at you. I now know how much it upset, you and I promise that it will not happen again.’

Even if you are going to bring up the issue of him not paying attention to you, that should be later. Focus on your wrongdoing and apologize.

4.  Do An Act Of Service For Him

This is one of the things you need to learn if you want to know how to apologize to your boyfriend. It is one way you can use to SHOW him that you are genuinely sorry for your bad behavior.

This can be done by doing his laundry, helping him in the research he is carrying out, preparing his best food. You could also offer to take him to the movies or go on a date to his favorite restaurant.

Sometimes, a sensual time in the bedroom can help make your boyfriend forgive you. The things you can do to make him see that you are genuinely sorry are not limited to the items listed above.

There is more. You know your man, so you should know what to do for him that will cause his eyes to be lit up in surprise and his heart to be warmed with feelings of deep appreciation to you.

5.  Use Written Notes

Written apologies can work, especially if you are in a long-distance relationship. So, let us assume that you forgot your boyfriend’s birthday, and he took it to heart (some guys don’t).

It would make sense if you sent him a written apology. Social media has made writing to people a whole lot easier. You can say those things via text and forward them to him.

A warm apology would surely calm him down. If you live close to your boyfriend or live with him, you can craft or buy a card for him with your apology written inside with your handwriting.

If you can’t come up with the right words to apologize to your boyfriend, or you cannot express yourself no worries, we have created a list of heartfelt apology messages to inspire you with the right words for your man. Feel free to check it out.

Keep it where he goes pretty often so he can see it quickly. It is usually always better for grudges in a relationship to be resolved as soon as possible.

This is because the longer it takes for reconciliation, the bigger the disconnect and the harder it becomes to mend the rift.

6.  Go Through Someone He Values

Often, there are many figures in a man’s life that he places on a high pedestal and values a lot. Having access and a good relationship with people like this in his life can be a game-changer when you are in a fix.

Sometimes the man can be so cross with you that he would not even pick your calls, come home or reply to your texts. When you get to the point where you see that you cannot get through to the man you love, it is always good that you go through a mediator.

This should be your last point of call if every other method fails. Men are usually closer to their mothers and would most likely pay attention to them.

You can go through his mother to get him to at least listen to what you have to say. Other options are his best friend or a mentor, colleague, or sibling that he respects greatly.

7.  Seduction Works, Sometimes

If you are in a sensual intimate relationship with your boyfriend, consider using this method to get forgiveness. Men are visual creatures and sometimes can be teased into doing things they would not have done.

You can be sure that your boyfriend is not with you just because you are intelligent and resourceful. He is there too because he finds you attractive. Use what you have to get what you want.

We are confident that you know those clothes you wear that set him off the hook, wear them. Show off some skin, especially some parts of your body that you know he loves to see and touch.

Perhaps he is having a shower. You can join him and make the shower hot (pun intended). Some men will most likely fall for the trap and “eat the fruit”. When the deed is done, you can calmy plead your case. Rest assured that your apology will be accepted.

8.  Buy Him A Gift

Most men are less likely to be vocal about their needs. Societal conditioning has made it so. It is uncommon to find a man worrying the girlfriend about gifts. And this means men don’t get gifted often.

So, when you do give him, it is always seen as something exceptional. When learning how to apologize to your boyfriend, know that gifting him is another strategy.

You do not need to break the bank while getting a gift. The value of a gift is not always in how much it was bought but in the thought that backed the gift. Ladies sometimes say they don’t know what to get for a man.

Well, here are a few ideas. You can get him a diary where he can minute things important to him. Please take a look at his life and house. What is missing? Buy them for him if you can afford them.

Go further by adding a handwritten apology in the box of the gift. It will send the message straight home.

9.  Don’t Expect Or Demand Instant Forgiveness Or Change

Your boyfriend is a human being with feelings. Not a robot that can be programmed to do just about anything. Most people think apologizing will automatically earn them forgiveness.

It really does not. You cannot barge your way into someone’s forgiveness. Allow them time to decide whether to forgive or not. And even if they do agree to forgive, give them time to come around.

Saying things like, “I have apologized, and yet you don’t want to forgive me” sounds inconsiderate and selfish. Some people might even get angry that their apology was not accepted, and forgiveness was not served.

You are dealing with a human being with emotions and cannot control how a person reacts to something you said or did, whether they are words of hurt or apology. Give the person you hurt time to process, heal and forgive.

10.  Do Not Repeat The Wrong

This is the most critical part of how to apologize to your boyfriend, and you need to be serious about it. An apology is made up of three vital components. The first part is where you own up for the wrong that you did.

The second part is where you express regret for your actions, and then the final piece is where you make a promise. A promise that you will not repeat what you just did.

Remove anything from these, and your apology is incomplete. What is the point of apologizing to your boyfriend for yelling at him in public if you are just going to repeat it again? It makes no sense.

If you say that you are sorry, mean it. Do not repeat the wrong that you did. Be on the watch out. Doing the same wrong thing repeatedly and asking for forgiveness each time will make anyone lose their mind.

How To Apologize To Your Boyfriend For Acting Crazy

Perhaps you disrespected your man in public or just yelled and walked out on him. The very first thing you need to do is approach your partner and express regret. An apology can be even more infuriating if you try trading blames.

Try saying something like, “I am sorry for the way I acted earlier today. I was not supposed to behave like that. Please, forgive me. I will not repeat such.” This will totally get to your boyfriend.

But some ladies would say, “I am sorry if what I did earlier made you feel bad.” Or “I am sorry you felt disrespected today while we were out.” These statements show that you are not sure you hurt him and that it was his fault, even if you did. You’ve got to word it right, girl.

How To Apologize To Your Boyfriend For Cheating

If you cheated on your boyfriend and he found out, the best way to apologize is to show him that he can trust you again.

After telling him how sorry you were for cheating, the next thing to do is to remove yourself from the circumstance that led to you cheating in the first place.

Regret and apology should lead you to repentance. Stop communicating with the person you cheated on your boyfriend with. Break ties with the person and reiterate your commitment to the relationship.

You have to remember that if you are in a committed relationship, you have also committed your body to the person. We are humans, and we have our moments of weaknesses but ensure that there is no repeat of cheating.

How To Apologize To Your Boyfriend Over Text

What can our phones not do these days? We can use it to order anything from anywhere in the world, and it lands at our doorsteps. Education has even been made easier -all thanks to lockdown for making us realize many possibilities with online classes.

Phones have also made human connections broader and more accessible. If you cannot physically reach your man, use your phone. Text him.

Let him know how much he means to you, how much you regret what you did and how willing you are to make up for it. You can text him via SMS or use social media messages.

Craft a touching message and send it to him. Click here to see some sincere apology messages that you can send to the love of your life.

How To Apologize To Your Boyfriend For Lying

Lying and cheating are two vices that can tear a relationship apart. This is because both have to do with trust. And when trust is broken, it is so hard to build again.

There is almost always this shadow of doubt lurking around in a relationship where someone lied or cheated. When this happens, talk to him sincerely.

Tell him you are sorry and make him understand that you never planned on hurting him. When you are done with that, look within and discover why you lied.

Was it to make him feel good? Or to avoid disappointing him? You did not want him to scold you? Handle the reason behind the lie, so you don’t have to lie again.

How To Apologize To Your Boyfriend For Hurting His Feelings

Men attach a whole lot of importance to their egos. Crushing that ego or pride is like crushing the man totally. One of the ways to know what actually to say to someone you hurt their feeling is to put yourself in their shoes.

What was that thing you said to him? Imagine someone else told you that. How would you feel? Small? Inconsequential? Disrespected? Great. Now, tell your boyfriend that you regret what you said. Tell him that you are sorry for hurting him.

Tell him that you have realized that you need to be careful with what you say. Promise never to repeat what you did. And to make him feel special, tell him how much you love and respect him as a person. This will win your partner’s heart, no doubt.



Relationships are hard to do, and apologies are even harder. But how to apologize to your boyfriend is laden with tips on how to go about it.

First, if you both love each other, then do not allow a misstep from keeping you from enjoying the dividends of a good relationship.

Please, keep in mind these two things; an apology does not make you smaller. If it makes you anything at all, it makes you mature. Whether the offended is your boyfriend or not, apologize when you wrong someone.

Finally, you are such an incredible person, even with the flaws and the mistakes you made in the relationship. Have the courage to forgive yourself also. You need that.

Sharing is caring!

Sharing is caring!

Author: Relationship Culture

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.