Are you involved with a married man or thinking about it? Well, this article exposes some of the dangers of dating a married man.
Granted, some married men are mature, rich, and look like they’ve got their lives figured out, unlike some single guys.
They even make their partners feel more secure than singles and younger guys who may be eccentric.
But no matter the allure, it is vital that you know that dating a married man is a bad idea and that you should banish the thought into the deepest recess of your mind.
Below are some dire consequences you might face if you decide to get entangled with a married man.
1. You Will Always Be Second
One of the apparent dangers of dating a married man is that you will always be second, no matter what. When choosing between you and his family or wife, the man will not pick you. And this is just common logic.
Just as married men seem to be the beacon of stability, they do not like taking any route that will destabilize them.
And choosing someone else will do just that. That is why you are always invited when the wife is not around.
That is why you have to be with him in a hotel. You know that you are the second fiddle.
You are just there to fill the space, when the wife be absent. And this is perhaps the most substantial reason you should not be in that position.
When you are involved romantically with someone, you should be a priority and number one. If you come second, you are not getting the dividends of the relationship in full. So, why be second when you can be first?
2. Your Relationship Will Be Painfully Secret
Most things done in secret are usually things that would attract a backlash, or a tongue lash if it comes out in the open, and dating a married man is one such secret. Dating a married man is frowned upon by society.
Religious and non-religious people both agree that it is a terrible thing to do. So, this is why you two must carry on your affair in secret.
The man’s wife and children will not know. Sometimes, your friends too may not know because you may be scared of their judgments-and rightly so.
You log on to Facebook or Instagram and see people loving their partners and posting their goofy pictures and videos online. You go for a walk and see couples walking and holding each other.
You are envious of the public display of affection and how carefree they are. But you know that kind of thing is not for you.
You cannot have what they have because your relationship is under tabs.
You cannot risk being caught by his wife or someone who knows him, which is one of the dangers of dating a married man; your relationship would be a painful secret.
3. There Might Be Trouble When You Are Found Out
One of the dangers of dating a married man is that when you are found out, all hell will be let loose. Some women may be unable to keep calm when they see you with their man.
Many will be so furious that they will disgrace you right on the spot. They will mock you and cause trouble wherever they catch you.
Often, this scenario leads to the wife physically fighting the other woman.
Your life and safety could be at stake because some women might look to kill or inflict severe injuries on the ‘other woman.’ This is not just a situation you would like to find yourself in.
Coolheaded people might take the evidence of you dating their husband to court and file for divorce.
They may also fight for the custody of their children. If both situations work out in their favor, it might hurt the man, and he might eventually turn to despise you.
Many people think if they can get the wife to leave, they get the man all to themselves. But it doesn’t always work like that. Sometimes, the man still won’t marry you, even when the wife is gone.
4. There Will Be Lies
In a way, cheating is lying; it is being dishonest. So, when a man defies his wedding vows and goes ahead to cheat, he has lied to his wife.
Therefore, it is preposterous to assume that a man cheating on his wife will be straight with you and always tell you the truth.
One of the dangers of dating a married man is that you will be lied to many times. You cannot rely on his word because he is bound to disappoint.
The man lies to his wife about his location, what he is doing, and his finances. Just as he is lying to his wife, he is also lying to you.
This happens especially when he is actively involved with many women.
Married men often lie: ‘I will leave my wife and family and marry you.
But this rarely happens. The more common thing is the married man leaving an extramarital affair and focusing on his wife and family.
Hoping that a married man will leave his family and marry you is simply wishful thinking.
5. It Could Prevent You From Entering A Meaningful Relationship Of Your Own
Everyone wants a relationship where they would be valued and looked after. No one wants a stressful and complicated relationship and leading a complicated life is one of the dangers of dating a married man.
The problem and the loop of complications that it comes with can be unbearable. Being in a relationship with a married man might potentially close your eyes to other genuine and single men around.
You may be so focused on him that you don’t even think of giving others a chance to get to know you.
They won’t even get the opportunity of expressing their wish to be with you. The married man acts like a veil, a covering that prevents you from getting into any meaningful relationship.
Some ladies brave it, though, get themselves into a relationship and still maintain the married man. And this brings complications.
You add your oblivious partner to the list of those you’d be keeping secrets from.
This is because, if he finds out, he may break up with you or even take the fight to the married man you are involved with.
And when he does, there is a great chance the man’s wife will find out too. And there you are, in-between two people who are mad at you.
6. Emotional Turmoil
Admittedly, some married men come with charm. It is almost as if they always know the exact things to say or do to please a woman.
But no matter how good their offering sounds, it is unsuitable for your mental health. And perhaps this is one of the greatest dangers of dating a married man.
Think about it; all of the things you both will do are in secret. You are always watching your back to ensure that no one sees you.
There is no security in the relationship. Somehow, deep down, you know that the relationship will not last.
Even if you refuse to admit it, you are expecting that one day, something will happen.
A call, a text message, a meeting, an embarrassment in public, and the whole relationship will crash, just like a child’s sand castle at a beach when the waves come crashing in.
Living in such fear can be crippling and mentally exerting. It is such a complicated affair that rarely ends well. So, why put yourself through such emotional turmoil?
7. It Will Ruin Your Reputation
Except if you are among those who do not give two cents about their reputation, dating a married man can be pretty damning. It will shatter your reputation.
But reputation matters to many ladies involved with a married man because they do so secretly.
Think of all the people who know you, from your hometown to where you were born, kindergarten, workplace, or even church or mosque (if you are a religious person).
When people you hold or people who hold you in high esteem hear that you are involved with a married man, they will lose their respect for you.
One of the dangers of dating a married man is that it can potentially close certain doors to you if you are found out. Most people may not say it to your face, but they will no longer trust you.
Automatically, you become a symbol of bad behavior and a poster girl for home breakers.
Even when you eventually stop seeing the man, most people will still see you in that light because bad news travels faster and stays longer than good news.
8. You May Develop Trust Issues If You Eventually Enter A Relationship
When you are with a man who is breaking the promise he made to his spouse in the presence of many witnesses, it sort of affects the way you see men. You might be distrustful even when you enter a relationship.
Having been in a relationship with a married man might make you think all men are the same. This will make you insecure and distrust your partner.
You might wonder if he is also having an affair outside. Suddenly you begin to think of the worst in every scenario. He declines your call, and you already think he is with another woman.
He comes back late from work, and you think he went to see someone else. When he takes calls from the opposite gender, your heart flips.
When he smiles at another woman, you feel threatened. All these stem from the fact that you have been with a married man and are eventually paranoid that another lady would do the same to you.
And this is so sad because trust issues contribute a lot to ending many relationships. This is one of the dangers of dating a married man.
9. You Will Have To Deal With Guilt
One thing you must deal with when you get entangled with a married man is guilt. Anyone with a conscience knows when they are doing something good or bad.
The knowledge is there. But it is human nature to damn the conscience and go ahead with the bad stuff anyway.
Yet this does not exonerate us from the anguish our minds will inflict on us via guilt. You mistakenly run into the married man and his wife and start acting fidgety.
You don’t even want to see her face. You feel like once she sets her eyes on you, she can see through what you are hiding-that you are dating her husband.
Sometimes, after being with the man, you go home and weep.
Some go home and spend a lot of time in the shower, willing the water to wash away their guilt.
You always feel terrible after meeting the man every time. It takes its toll on emotions, which is one of the dangers of dating a married man.
10. You Might Be Seen As An Easy Target By Other Men
Most married men hang out in groups with other married men. It helps them talk about men’s stuff, football, work challenges, etc. In these hangouts, business ideas are shared, and they rub minds on how to manage their lives.
Also, in these gatherings, men use it as an opportunity to unwind and throw banters. In this kind of hangout, men usually talk about their wives and families.
Again, these hangouts are usually where men meet with the ‘other woman and introduce the ‘other woman’ to some of their friends.
When this happens, you suddenly become an easy target, easy prey for some of the other men in the group. They think that if you can date their friend, you might be ready to go down with them too.
They often offer money to induce you to go down with them. And this can be embarrassing.
Not just that, sometimes when you get involved with an immature married man, they tell their friends about you, and everyone suddenly starts coming after you because they think you are an easy lay.
Is It Okay To Date A Married Man?
One might ask, is it okay to date a married man? No, it is not okay to date a married man. First, you need to understand that once a married man comes after you, he does not want anything permanent with you.
This stands irrespective of what he says. Most married men who claim to no longer love their wives never really leave them. Most of them like stability, which their wives and families represent.
The second reason it is not okay to date a married man is that you will never be the ‘one and only. This should not be a problem for you if you like sharing.
But if you don’t, then here is the bummer, it will never be just you. If he eventually leaves his wife and marries you, what is the guarantee that he won’t see another lady outside and get involved with her? This is one of the dangers of dating a married man; it is always a lose-lose game, no matter what you do.
What Is Wrong With Dating A Married Man?
So, what is wrong with dating a married man? Well, here are some of the things wrong with dating a married man:
1. The Man Is Breaking The Law With You
If the man is wedded in court and cheating on his wife with you, then he is jeopardizing his family.
This is because if the wife finds out, she can take him to court, file for divorce, and maybe ask for their properties to be split.
You can rest assured that by the end of the day, your man will not be happy when the woman succeeds and the man loses. There is every tendency that he will begin to see you as the cause of his woes.
2. You Will Get Disappointed A Lot
If you are dating a married man, you must be prepared to hear lots of excuses. You will be disappointed a lot.
The both of you might have a date on a particular day, and something will come up at home. When this happens, the married man will choose to handle the emergency at home at your expense.
What Are The Consequences Of Dating A Married Man?
One may ask, “What are the consequences of dating a married man?” Here are some of those consequences:
1. You Cannot Have Him To Yourself
If you are dating a married man, you have to understand that you cannot have the man to yourself alone.
First, you have to compete with the wife of the man. You share his attention with the wife and family.
On festive days, like Christmas, Salah, Easter, and Thanksgiving, when people spend time with their loved ones, you will be alone. He will spend those days with his family instead.
And then, that is not just it. If he is cheating on his wife with you, what makes you think he is not altogether cheating on you with another lady?
2. He Only Cares About Your Body
Most men who engage in extramarital affairs don’t do it because they want to fall in love. They do it because they lack self-discipline. For them, emotions are not invested. What they are after is pleasure.
That is why most of them will stop reaching out if you stop giving them the satisfaction they seek.
So, when you get involved with them and emotionally attached, you end up getting your heart broken. So, whatever you are doing with a married man, eschew feelings. It does not end well.
Disadvantages of Dating A Married Man
The disadvantages of dating a married man are numerous. Here are some them:
1. You Are Always At The Mercy Of His Time
People in relationships know they can call their partner anytime they want to (except maybe when they are at work) and get through to them.
They can contact their partners to inform them they are coming around any time. But this cannot happen when you are dating a married man.
He cannot be there for you on your bad days. You cannot call him anytime you feel like it. He is the one who has to reach out when the timing is right for him. It has to be suitable for him-not for you.
2. There Is No Future In Your Relationship
On a norm, relationships have a progression pathway. Serious people do not just enter a relationship just for the sake of it.
They do because there is a goal-marriage. That is the future of the relationship. But when you are involved with a married man, it is a dead end.
There is nothing but rocks at the end of the tunnel. There is no future. So, if you are dating a married man, you are busy chasing shadows.
Conclusion
Here lies the truth: married men certainly have their charm and allure, but entering into such a relationship is not advisable.
First of all, it is morally wrong. Secondly, it is very complicated and most often never ends well.
If you keep going, you risk causing a break in someone else’s home. You also risk your mental health because you will constantly be feeling guilty.
You will always feel abandoned. Also, you will always feel cheated and unloved. And that is because you are messing with another woman’s man.
It is also not usually a pretty sight when the ‘other woman’ gets caught. So you will do yourself the favor of steering clear of the trouble that comes from dating a married man.
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