9 Signs He Is Cheating On You

Sharing is caring!

Relationships today are generally held by two basic elements – honesty and trust. Honesty protects the relationship from harmful lies that can gradually push the affair off track while trust – which is the most important of both – determines the degree to which both parties respect and love themselves.

Essentially, it takes a collection of qualities for relationships to function properly. However, honesty and trust are the basic foundation on which relationships thrive.

When either of them is missing, the bricks that define a relationship are weakened, leading to an inevitable collapse. Interestingly, cheating leads to mistrust and is something that has become a deal-breaker for many people in relationships today.

This is because It is the highest form of betrayal and takes a lot of mental energy for the victim to bounce back from. That is, it takes a strong partner to continue in the relationship after discovering their partner cheats or has cheated on them.

I’m sure you are totally psyched up about learning about some of the signs he is cheating on you. But first, take your time to absorb the information leading to the crux of this article so that you do not put yourself and your relationship in the wrong position.

One thing you must understand is that the definition of cheating is subjective. What you consider cheating might be something another person considers normal. This is why it is important to get on the same page with your partner early on about what “cheating” means before calling them out.

What traits do cheaters have?

Additionally, make sure your partner is ticking off multiple boxes with regards to the signs he is cheating on you before you go all gung-ho on him. I cannot overemphasize how crucial the words ‘multiple boxes’ are here.

If you realize that only a couple of the following pointers are evident in your relationship, then it doesn’t necessarily mean he is cheating. You might need to bring them up in a polite conversation with him so that you can clear the air and move on.

What are the first signs of cheating? How do you tell if he is guilty of cheating? How do you tell if your partner is lying about cheating? What traits do cheaters have? Without further ado, I will address these concerning questions through these nine solid signs he is cheating on you.


1.  His Online Dating Profile Is Still Active

 How do you tell if your partner is lying about cheating?

Perhaps you and your partner met yourselves on a dating app. After becoming official, you both decided to delete your accounts. But later, you noticed his account is still active.

Perhaps, he never closed his, or he recently reactivated it. Whichever it is, it only points to one fact – he is not satisfied with you and is still putting himself out there.

Any man who really loves you and is prepared to stick with you will not leave his online dating profile active when you become a thing.

He will not discard the site where you met only to create another profile on a different dating site, and he will definitely not have the app on his phone even if he claims to be inactive. These are clear signs he is cheating on you already, or at the very least, has plans to.


2.  He Acts Excessively Defensive When You Accuse Him Of Cheating

It might not be an accusation, it might just be a harmless question seeking clarity. But then, he flares up at you, angrily storming out after insulting or attacking your sense of reasoning. If this is evident in your situation, there might be some ugly skeletons in his cupboard.

If a man is not cheating and you reasonably express your concerns, he will not get excessively defensive or violent. True, he might get hurt that you would think of him in such a manner.

But his first thoughts would be to understand what precipitated your concerns, not creating a fuss in an obvious attempt to gaslight you and make you feel silly for considering such thoughts.

Of course, if he had cheated in the past – an issue you have both resolved and moved past – and you constantly keep revisiting the issue or you keep accusing him of cheating, it can eventually make even the gentlest of men frustrated and defensive.

But if this is the first time you are posing the fidelity question at him and he goes all fiery and dramatic, there is definitely something he is keeping from you.


3.  He Stops Saying The Three Sacred Words

 How tell if he's cheating?

Couples who have an intense love for themselves will always remind each other of their feelings using the three significant words ‘I love you’ or other alternative forms of saying these words.

If he has gone from confessing his love for you with alluring, erotic compliments to saying nothing or experiencing some form of discomfort when he tries to get emotionally wordy with you, it shows he is distancing himself from you. And a reason for this could be because he is emotionally attached to another person.

This does not imply that men who love their partners do not cheat. It simply shows that a large majority of men who cheat on their partners even when they love them often feel guilty about their actions and eventually shy away from professing their love.


4. Your Intimacy Has Grown Cold

Being intimate with your partner isn’t restricted to bedroom activities and intense love-making. It includes romantic and affectionate acts like cuddling, holding hands, wrapping your waist, putting your arm across your shoulders, kissing, warm hugs amongst others.

If a man is cheating on you… Strike that. If a man is cheating on you and even goes on to develop an intense passion for the other person than he has for you, chances are he will lose interest in getting hot and mushy around you.

Unless he is totally cold and lacking any form of empathy, he wouldn’t want to keep leading you on. So, slowly and gradually, he will start avoiding situations that might require him to get intimate with you.


5.  He Suddenly Seems Distracted Around You

How do you tell if he is guilty of cheating?

One of the signs he is cheating on you is found in his attention span. If a man is committed to you and you only, he will give you his entire focus every time or most of the time he is around you. You will not find yourself losing his attention during conversations and he will not avoid your stare when you talk to him.

Men who cheat on their partners, over time end up disconnecting from the relationship in different ways. Their general behaviors experience a drastic change, and while they used to be loving and patient with their partners, soon they begin to ‘zone out of the moment’ with you.

Yes, other elements like stress, fatigue, or personal conflicts could cause his thoughts to wander momentarily, but he will keep them in check if you are special and if he wants to spend quality time with you. If you do not mean much to him, though, he will always lose concentration around you.


6.  You Spend A Lot Of Time Keeping To Yourselves

Remember those days when you just fell in love with yourselves. You were so compatible, almost perfect for each other. You would talk for hours on end each day, and text each other now and then. He would call you his treasure, his other half, his completing jigsaw, and you would blush sheepishly.

Your conversations were not forced, they flowed smoothly and he always looked forward to talking to you. But now, it is the other way round. He doesn’t talk much to you, and when he does, the chemistry didn’t feel right.

In fact, lately, you go hours without speaking to each other. Not because he’s busy, but because you are growing out of touch. He is online all day but doesn’t message and when you do, your conversations are brief and cold, even formal

Away from phones and text, he doesn’t look forward to spending time with you anymore. When he is around, there is a tense mood permeating the room. You are sitting across each other, silently tapping on your phones or focused on other irrelevancies.

He is even probably smiling to himself or whoever it is he is chatting with. He seems to be more invested in matters that can very much wait till a later time. It could be that he sucks at expressing love, but the most likely reason for these behaviors is that he is cheating on you with someone he places greater importance on.


7.  He Suddenly Begins To Find Fault In Your Actions

What are the first signs of cheating?

Another member of the signs he is cheating on you manifests in how he treats you. If your boyfriend or husband suddenly begins to seek your flaws, point out your deficiencies, and accuse you of not being enough, he is either tired of you and wants to call it quits, or he is already cheating on you.

You probably have characteristics different from the person he is having an affair with. Maybe you do not possess similar expertise in the bedroom, your meals are not as delicious, or you are not so adventurous.

If he loves you, he will suggest ways to spice up the relationship; he will strive to make you a better person. But if he doesn’t, he will try to heap the blame of his cheating on you by either becoming hostile or focusing on your flaws.


8.  He Doesn’t Seek Your Opinion Before Making Decisions Anymore

Being together with a loved one, either in a married or dating capacity, means you are both mutually inclusive. You might both lead independent lives, but you are not independent of each other.

What this means is, you both must rely on each other to complete several actions, including decision making. You need his input before making decisions regarding issues like investments, career, kids, or mortgage. Similarly, he needs your objective insights before making important conclusions.

However, when he starts to show that he no longer cares about your thoughts or opinions, it might be that he is already out of the affair.

He doesn’t ask you how his new shirt looks on him as he used to, and when you both get into an argument, he doesn’t come back afterward to apologize; he just stopped caring.
If he does not treat you with respect anymore, or has stopped trying to grow with you, it is likely he is getting his validation elsewhere.


9.  You Just Can’t Do Away With The Thoughts

According to Agatha Christie, “Instinct is a marvelous thing. It can neither be explained nor ignored.” If you have a strong suspicion your man is cheating on you, there’s every possibility that you could be right. Always trust your instincts to push you in the right direction.

If you fully trusted him and never doubted him but have suddenly started seeing some reasons to worry, act on your suspicions. Don’t discard your thoughts altogether, believing it is just a phase that will pass. It could be a phase, but one that ends with him losing his love for you.



Cheating is not a subject that is all touch and go; it is not so straightforward or easy to get through either. Sometimes, you get that feeling that something is amiss in your relationship, but would rather choose to ignore the signs he is cheating on you or any other signs of issues in your affair.

Sometimes, it might be that you’re willing to see the signs but don’t know what to look out for. Other times, you are too aware of the signs he is cheating on you probably because of a nasty experience you have had.

The experience might have left you too traumatized that you find yourself second-guessing the actions and movements of your new partner.

Even during the initial stages of the relationship, you are looking out for subtle and seemingly harmless behaviors that might indicate the existence of a third party so you can remove yourself before you get hurt.

While this can be nice as it will help you recognize a difficult situation quickly, it can also become an unwanted trait that increases your hypersensitivity. Eventually, paranoia kicks in and your relationship becomes a nightmare.

Resolving this conundrum is simple. All you need to do is set aside your emotions as much as you can. Temporarily let go of your fears and logically evaluate his behavior using these tips provided.

You will find all the answers that you need, and it just might be that he is either a man bent on toying with your heart or he is an entirely sweet person and you are the only problem.

Sharing is caring! 

What are the first signs of cheating?

Sharing is caring!

Author: Relationship Culture

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *