The rate at which couples separate and divorce is alarmingly high. It begs for the question of what happened after the wedding?. Wasn’t the honeymoon great? Did reality hit and it wasn’t what both thought marriage would be?.
I always have a watchword for couples who come to me for counseling and advice. And it’s that a relationship requires great acts of service and it’s more in marriage.
If you aren’t ready to put in as much work then your marriage is going for the rocks, because what determines the essence, value, and success of any relationship is through the efforts that are put in on a daily basis.
Yes, it’s not just a one-time effort, but a continuous one. It’s really not easy when you have so much to think about like work, kids when they come, bills to pay, meetings to meet up to, and so on.
The possibility of forgetting the true essence of your relationship/marriage is imminent. The human mind is programmed in such a way that it gives more attention to what it pays more attention to and gives time to.
When you allow life happenings to cloud your mind, your relationship will suffer because relationships can be likened to flowers that require watering in order to blossom. Some people do not actually believe in working for a good relationship, believing that they are in love.
But love really is not enough sometimes. If you doubt, ask some divorced couples or broken relationships, they will admit they still love their partners but just can’t be with them anymore. Why?
Not being able to manage individual differences. It will be pretty difficult to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner. So what should you do?.
First off, it is important you know that when you truly love someone you will be compelled to show them in many ways how much you care, no matter how little, and trust me it will always come back to you.
If you condition your mind that you want your partner to be happy, then they will and if they are happy, you are happy as well. A happy couple equals a happy marriage, and the little secret to this act is that a happy home equals a happy you and a healthy lifestyle.
It will show in your day-to-day activities, you notice how positive and successful you are in life, you grow and glow effortlessly. The state of your relationship affects your life in general.
For example, if you are not happy with your partner, maybe there was an argument, you notice that your mood for the day is already messed up, till you get a call or text from them.
If not you won’t be able to function effectively at work. This is where you see couples instead of finding a way to work things out, they seek after a distraction like drugs, friends, having affairs, and work, just to take their mind off.
But it shouldn’t be. I’ve met with countless married couples and I found out they don’t pay close attention until it breaks.
Maintaining your marriage or relationship is something that should be learned, this is why I always advise couples should have mentors, people they look up to they can follow up, people with seemingly healthy relationships.
It will help to save the stress of seeing a counselor because when you know, hear or see something before. When you start experiencing it, you will have an idea of what you are dealing with and how best to tackle it.
There are so many things we can do to strengthen and maintain love in your marriage or relationship. And it does not necessarily involve breaking a bank for it. The little things matter, it’s the effort that really counts and makes up a healthy and good relationship.
It is the small and frequent acts of love that build good relationships. Here you will find tips on ways to make your marriage stronger, how to maintain your relationship or marriage, how to get the spark back in your marriage, things a woman can do to spice up the bedroom. Ways to make your relationship stronger. Let’s take a look:
1. Let Your Partner Be Your Priority
Just because both of you are now together, doesn’t mean that they are not important. Let them know and feel your presence whether you are close or not. There’s nothing as bad as being there with someone and they feel alone.
Let them know how important they are in your life by always keeping in touch when you are busy you can always take off 2 or 3 mins to check upon them. Send them a text like how is your day going, I miss you messages will go a long way to put a smile on your partner’s face as well as give them assurance.
It shows that you care and still think about them no matter how busy you are. It’s like telling them that they are a part of your life, it shows how valuable they are to you.
For some, it’s just to say good morning and not check on their partner till when they come back. It’s always very cute to send your partner text messages when you are out, those random texts give the relationship spice. It’s really not healthy to leave your partner guessing.
2. Never Stop Dating
This is one of the underrated ways to keep any relationship going. It’s like what I mentioned earlier about flowers, going on dates is that water you are expected to keep giving a relationship so as not feel alone, bored and all whatnots.
This is the secret ingredient some successful relationships you see utilize. This is because some couples actually stop the dating game because they feel they have gotten their partner where they want them, some don’t see the necessity of going on dates when they are already married.
But that’s false. I can particularly remember the story of my friend Leslie, she has been married to her husband for close to 5 years or more, and while we were all out on a girls’ night out and everyone shared experiences.
She said one thing she is grateful for is that since they got married to her beau, they never fail to go on dates like they have a set-out day every week no matter how busy they are to go on a date.
According to her, the dates they have gone while married are way more than while they were still dating. You could feel the love, the joy in the way she smiled while narrating. She said she and her husband always look forward to it.
Going on dates is part of the reason you are now married to your partner because without dates you wouldn’t know your partner as well as you do. Just because you have a hook on your partner doesn’t mean you should slack. Go on dates, be the friends you were before getting into a relationship. And watch the chemistry between you two blossom beyond your imaginations.
3. Always Show Appreciation
Learn to always say thank you. Show them how having them in your life is actually the best. Show gratitude for the little acts of love and care they show towards you. It is said that when you praise someone for a job well done, it empowers the person to do more.
Appreciate them for making you breakfast, for reminding you of a meeting, for helping you get groceries. Even if you do not say it, you can always leave or send them cute love notes of appreciation that you are aware of what they are doing. This will really go a long way to speak love to your partner’s heart.
4. Be Spontaneous
Be innovative. Do not just settle because you have this person. It’s the unexpected acts that actually go a long way. Surprise your partner with something they aren’t expecting. The goal should be to put a smile on your partner’s face and keep them attracted to you and more in love.
It could be calling them out for a surprise date, or gifting them when they aren’t expecting it. It’s all about keeping them more in love with you and keeping them looking forward to what next you are coming up with.
Offer a massage when they come back from work, watch movies in the car together, cook meals together, and so on. There are tons of fun and bonding activities that are waiting to be explored and utilized in your relationship. Admire their clothes when they are dressed to go, offer to choose their outfit for the day. It’s all part of what spices up any marriage or relationship. It’s the fuel that keeps it going.
5. Play Your Part
Being in a relationship entails knowing your partner and knowing your partner’s needs. The truth is both of you are different individuals with different wants, likes, and dislikes. Meeting your partner’s needs will help to reduce some disagreements that may arise in your relationship.
It is important you put the effort to meet your partner’s need often. For example, generally, A man’s need revolves around respect which is topmost. Men want to be and feel respected. There’s also comfort, giving them encouragement, then sensual satisfaction.
For a woman is quite different, a woman just wants to be appreciated, loved, listened to, touched, attention. If you identify these things, then your aim is to know how to meet them to help strengthen your relationship or marriage further.
6. Always Express Yourself
When you communicate to your partner you are trusting and letting your partner know you completely. If you are looking for ways to strengthen your marriage or relationship then communicating your needs and feelings makes you understand them well enough. With an expression of what they feel, it lets you in on their inner struggles, fears, and so on.
I don’t hesitate to communicate my feelings to my partner, both of us actually came up with a game every week, where we tell each other what has been bothering us, what one of us is doing that we are not comfortable with, what we should do to keep loving each other, we make promises, we talk about our fears, how we want our relationship to look like and be in the coming years, and so many things. And trust me it always feels good because, after the whole talk, there’s always an eagerness to improve on when one of us mentioned we were faulting and also we both observe that we exude the same energy in making us work no matter what.
Be expressive in your relationship and marriage. Do not ever bottle up your feelings.it harms you and your relationship. Your marriage and relationship won’t grow if you don’t express how you feel, no matter how hard or bad, say it to your partner, let them know.
These are proven tips for a successful marriage and strengthen your marriage or relationship.
For you!
I want you to know that loving someone requires you to give total support, it means you have to constantly be out for their good, which will make them happy. And it actually requires little effort, it could be taking out the trash, making out time to spend quality time together with your love, look into each other’s eye, smile and laugh while holding onto each other.
Switch off from the happenings around the world and focus on your partner, no distractions, no work calls, if possible turn off your phones and get lost in each other’s arms and smiles. There’s no limit to things you can do to strengthen your marriage and relationship.
Good luck!
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