Finding a good partner is like searching for a needle in a haystack (that’s definitely an exaggeration). Finding a good partner is actually easier than it seems! You just have to know what qualities to look out for. They are like guides that will help you make the right choice.
What to look for in a partner? When searching for your other half, you should consider someone who possesses these qualities: loyalty, honesty, respect, kindness, good communication skills, and, of course, shared values. These are great qualities a partner should have.
Looking for a partner goes beyond that fairytale prince and princess we dreamed of. And sometimes, our partners aren’t perfect. Sometimes, it’s about their character, honesty, or habits. Trying to know if someone is the right fit and if you’ll even last can seem like a lot. Well, fret not; I’ll share some tips to remember when looking for your life partner.
1. Loyalty
One of the first things to look for in a partner is loyalty. We tend to look past certain things and focus on things like looks that undermine some core values. Trust me, I’ve been there! In college, I was so hyper-fixed on one guy because he looked like an Adonis.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t go for a good-looking partner or people, but you should have some similar values. Anyway, I was so hyper-fixed on this one guy, and we eventually dated. Mind you, we didn’t even have much in common. Barely two months into the relationship, he cheated.
I never did my due diligence on him because if I had, I would have discovered he was a serial cheat. He had no ounce of loyalty, and we all know how detrimental that can be to a relationship. This is why loyalty is one of the qualities you should look for in a partner.
Loyalty goes far beyond just staying true to you while in a relationship. It also extends to having your back no matter what. You want a partner you know will always defend you no matter what.
2. Good Character
I know you might think this is a bit old school, but a partner with good character is one of those things you should look out for. Good character encompasses a set of different values, such as honesty, loyalty, and integrity. These values all come together to make a good character.
Before my partner and I started dating, I was big about dating someone who would understand me and help me become a better person no matter what. I used to share this with my mum often, and she said, “Well, what you need is a man with a good character.”
I remember laughing at her and calling her old-fashioned. Two months later, my partner and I became friends, and within a week of hanging out, he was already encouraging me to become the best version of myself. It was then I understood what my mom meant about having a good character.
So, consider their character when wondering what to look for in a partner. Are they someone with integrity who pushes you to be better? Are they polite and kind at all times? You shouldn’t skip out on these factors when looking for a partner!
3. Honesty
All relationships thrive on honesty and transparency. You want a partner who’ll always tell it to you straight and honestly. We are grown, so imagine dating someone who always lies or hides things! That would obviously be insane.
A transparent partner would never hide their affairs or tell lies that can destroy your relationship. No matter how bad it is, my partner and I always make it a point to tell each other the truth.
We make a slideshow to share something we feel might really hurt each other, so when a slideshow is coming on, you kind of know what to expect. There are so many different ways to incorporate honesty into your relationship.
But it’s better when you get with an honest partner in the first place; that way, they’re dispositioned, to tell the truth because that’s who they are. So, please go for someone who can always tell you the truth no matter what!
4. Respect
If they don’t respect you, I’m going to hold your hands while I say this—they aren’t the one for you. A good partner will always respect your opinions.
The thing about respect is that it transcends beyond just respecting your partner for respecting sake. A good partner should respect your choices, family, and everything about you, from your style to your hobbies. Imagine being with a partner who doesn’t respect your craft or work. That, my dear, is clearly a recipe for a bad romance.
And you don’t need that! What you need is a partner willing to love and respect you no matter what.
If you’re currently considering whether that certain person matches up to what a good partner should be like or simply looking for what a partner should possess, add respect to the top of your list.
My partner and I work so well together because we respect each other. We respect our crafts and also respect boundaries.
5. Kindness And Empathy
Imagine you had a long, tiring day at work, and when you get home, you see your favourite meal along with a note that says, “Just breathe, you’ve got this!” That is the purpose of having a kind and empathetic partner. Now imagine the other end of this: you get home tired, and your partner starts nagging you over unnecessary details.
I know you cringed a little, but that’s what the absence of a kind and empathetic partner in your life will look like.
Cue a story time because you know how much I love them. Anyway, a few weeks ago, I was working with a tight deadline, and it felt like everything was crashing in on me.
My partner noticed I was struggling, prepared me a fresh cup of tea, and put on a playlist of relaxing songs in the background.
He also kept checking in and offered to lessen some of my burden by helping me out. It was honestly the sweetest thing ever and reminded me why being with a kind partner is so important.
A kind and empathetic partner will always put themselves in their shoes and do things to make you feel better, not worse. So, when you’re ticking things off your list, ensure kindness and empathy are at the forefront. You’ll thank me later!
6. Good Communication
I like to see communication as a game of badminton. You can’t keep all the shuttles to yourself and still expect to win. You’ll probably be booed off the field. Badminton is about that back-and-forth play that ensures you and your partner are in the loop.
You’re probably wondering where I’m driving to with this. Well, that’s how good communication works! You’re both communicating and in the loop at all times.
Whenever my partner and I get into arguments, and communication seems to be taking a nosedive, we usually pause and try to figure out why we aren’t agreeing.
We usually end up compromising on a decision, which turns what would have been a communication breakdown into good communication. We discuss our feelings and thrash out whatever issues we have.
You need to choose someone with good communication skills. Good communication skills involve active listening, healthy dialogue, and the ability to compromise. By doing so, it’s easier to resolve arguments and avoid misunderstandings.
7. Ability To Compromise
The last thing you want in a partner is someone who is headstrong and unwilling to compromise. Imagine finally getting a chance to watch the TV, and your partner, who’s gotten to choose all shows the prior nights, refuses to let you finally watch your show. It’s clear they don’t understand compromise and might even be selfish.
I’ll give you a great example of how compromise should look in a relationship. Picture this: You want to binge-watch the latest season of your favourite series. Meanwhile, your partner wants to rewatch their favourite movie, which you’ve both seen a couple of times.
A great compromise would be agreeing to swap episodes for movie nights or even watching some episodes and ending the night with a movie. That’s how you make a compromise and ensure everyone is content with the decision.
One time, my partner and I were at a loss for what to do on a Sunday evening. I was happy staying indoors and relaxing with my book, while he wanted an outdoor adventure.
We ended up doing a mini stroll that led us to a park. We set up a blanket, and I got to read my book while he took pictures of the scenery around us. Now, that’s what I call a win-win situation!
8. Shared Values
Let’s think of shared values as the GPS in a relationship. You can have different stops and even routes, but as long as you agree on the destination, you’re basically set! Shared values are those you and your partner share.
They could be values of honesty, kindness, finances, and integrity. When you and your partner care about the same things, it makes navigating life easier. It is a GPS that will always take you to the final destination, no matter what.
Another turning point for me when I met my partner was realizing we were both lifelong learners. We could have long conversations about any and everything, from the latest technology trends to our favourite books as children. As we got closer, finding someone who shared values similar to mine felt amazing.
Knowing that you and your partner have similar values can make disagreements and arguments less important because you know you aim to grow together no matter what. You also know that you share similar traits in certain regard.
9. Neatness
If there’s one thing you should never compromise for when looking for a partner, it’s neatness! You don’t want a dirty, smelling, rusty partner. I know I might have gone a little overboard there, but I’m simply taken back to one guy I dated after college. We stayed together for a few weeks, which was one of my worst moments.
He would litter everywhere with his dirty clothes, mix up the dirty and clean clothes, never do laundry or fold afterwards, never wash the dishes, and never clean up after himself in general. It felt like I was dating a pig and not a full-grown adult. I still get shivers when I think about that moment of my life.
Neatness isn’t just about tidiness; it’s about effort, too! A neat partner can motivate you to be neater and more organized. So, don’t compromise on neatness when looking for a partner! You want to ensure you’re with someone neat, tidy, and organized.
10. Chemistry And Intimacy
Drop that beaker; we’re talking about the real chemistry here. You know, the one that occurs when you stare into someone’s eyes, and for those few seconds, it feels like the rest of the world has melted away. We’re talking about intimacy and all the things that turn your insides mush.
Chemistry is like a spark that makes even the most mundane moments feel magical. It’s also about feeling safe, seen, and understood by each other.
Most of the time, chemistry is usually just there. It’s really something you can cultivate. However when you improve your intimacy as a couple, it definitely positively affects your chemistry so, if you’re feeling that sizzling hot chemistry with someone, it’s a good sign to look out for. As for intimacy, she comes in many forms.
You could have great physical, emotional, or even spiritual intimacy. It’s also a good sign that you will click with this person in the long run.
So, whether it’s a touch, a glance, or that inside joke that only the two of you understand, chemistry is what makes a relationship feel alive. Intimacy, on the other hand, is like the secret ingredient that deepens that connection.
11. Sense Of Humor
My partner once told me that one of the things that drew him to me was my sense of humour! I was beyond flattered, but it also made me realize how big of a game-changer a good sense of humour is. It makes everything better because you’re laughing and smiling more often than you normally would.
That laid-back energy surrounds you, knowing you’re having a good laugh with your person. My partner and I spend a good deal of time laughing. I once suggested we end our gym memberships because our cores were constantly on fire from laughing anyway.
Of course, he immediately caught on. I was trying to slack off, but that’s a story for another day!
Life is full of ups and downs, but if you and your partner can laugh together, even the rough patches will feel pretty smooth sailing.
A good sense of humour means knowing how to make crazy jokes at the right moment to turn stress and silly situations into smiles.
You don’t want to end up with a partner who rarely smiles or laughs with you. With time, it might start to feel like you’re in the military and not a union with your partner.
You should be with someone who can always infuse laughter into the moments that count and has the tact to know when it’s okay to joke and when it isn’t. They should also respect you and keep certain things to the limit.
12. Support
One of the most important things a partner can offer you is support. Undiluted, refreshing support. They should support you because they love you and want to see you succeed.
I’ll always sing praises about my partner because he’s my biggest supporter. Support keeps your relationship standing strong. You want that support to remain no matter the weather.
Imagine a partner who doesn’t care about your future endeavours and always looks down on what you do. That lack of support alone can make you quit, and who knows what success could have been waiting for? Support is not just about being there for the big moments but also for the everyday small moments.
It could be cheering you on for a work presentation or holding your hand when you find yourself in a difficult situation. It’s the thoughtfulness and willingness to be there with you through thick and thin. Real support feels like a safety net you can always rely on.
So when you find someone who can lift you up not only on normal days but also on days you’re down—you’ve found a best friend and possibly a life partner!
Subheadings:
What Qualities Do You Look For In A Life Partner?
Choosing a life partner is no joke! You’ll possibly be spending an eternity with this person, so you definitely want to choose right. However, it’s no Herculean task either. By looking for these qualities, you’ll make the right choice:
I. Kindness: You want to look for someone who is kind. They should leave those warm and fuzzy feelings within you. They should also be kind to people around you. This way, you’re assured that they’ll always be sweet and considerate of you, no matter the weather.
II. Sense of humour: You don’t want someone who isn’t going to understand certain cues or, worse, inside jokes! Look for someone who has a sense of humour you can relate to and, of course, you enjoy. Laughing together is key for the longevity of your relationship.
III. Emotional intelligence: Imagine being with someone who doesn’t understand why you like certain things or invalidates your emotions. Emotional intelligence is an essential trait in your partner because it helps them understand and appreciate you for who you are.
IV. Shared values: They should have values similar to yours. Sharing similar values and outlook on life with your partner is like being on the same team. This will help you understand and love each other better.
What Are The Key Things To Look For In A Partner?
Hate to be that party pooper but key things to look for in a partner go beyond looks and style. Of course, you should look out for that as well, but you should also be more concerned about their character as an individual.
Look out for trustworthiness. Are they reliable? Are they someone you can trust to always have your back? You want a partner you can weather storms with and know you’re safe with them no matter what. Look out for how they communicate. Do they communicate well? Do they actively listen? A partner who
communicates well will always tell you how they feel and listen to you to understand as well. Look for emotional maturity. An emotionally mature partner is someone who understands you inside and out. They aren’t quick to judge or assign blame.
Rather, they try to understand and always strive to connect with you on an emotional level. Finally, look out for their support. They should be your biggest cheerleader. A good partner will always want the best for you and encourage you to be the best version of yourself.
Qualities In A Partner?
There are many qualities a partner should possess, and I’ll mention a few that stand out and are pretty important. They should be authentic and unapologetically themselves.
They should be vulnerable with you and ready to receive your vulnerability. They should possess a growth mindset and be willing to improve. They should love and respect you beyond measure. They shouldn’t be perfect because the truth is, no one is perfect! We all have our quirks that make us unique as individuals.
The qualities a partner should have are numerous, but having these ones shows that they’ll be a good and caring partner.
Signs Of A Good Partner?
I have an aunt who got married through an arranged marriage (crazy, I know!) But it was the 80s, and apparently, those arrangements were still common. So were traditional roles for wives and husbands.
Anyway, she didn’t go into the marriage expecting much but got the best shock of her life when her husband told her he was throwing the traditional roles away. He told her, “You and I, we’re a team.” I gushed for hours after hearing that story, but it also gave me clarity on what a good partner should be like.
They should be willing to support you in all aspects of life. They should also be willing to take responsibility and, of course, be accountable. They should be forgiving and trustworthy. Finally, they should be willing to grow with you. In case you were wondering, my uncle and aunt are still going strong!
Conclusion
Knowing what to look for in a partner is easier than it seems. They should be someone you can rely on, be honest, respectful, and able to compromise when necessary. These are just a few of the things to look for, and as always, I hope this piece was helpful!
