Are you being ignored by your husband? It’s one of the most frustrating things to be experiencing. I know you could be going through the same, which is why you’re reading this blog post, especially when you don’t know the reason.
I’ll be showing you some reasons why he’s ignoring you, then I will tell you how to handle them.
What Does It Mean If Your Husband Ignores You?
It could mean a couple of things. First, it could mean he’s trying to slow down the relationship or take it to another level, and either way, he may be trying to get your attention.
By slowing down the relationship, I mean he may not be into you anymore and don’t know how to say it, and this can be due to several factors I will be sharing much later in this post.
By speeding things up, he may be testing your resolve to see what he means to you.
Ladies sometimes are good at playing hard to get, and your man ignoring you may means he needs some form of attention, and you letting him know how much he means to you by assuring him he has you on his side.
Now, knowing the difference is key to handling you being ignored. I’m going to digress a little before hitting the nail on the head. I advise people in relationships, especially ladies, not to get carried away too soon with love in the brain but be calm and allow their minds to lead them.
No one loves immaturity, but somehow we end up getting involved with some immature men. Being ignored or the silent treatment doesn’t begin in marriage, but while dating and the earlier it is recognized and stopped, the better, else it could spill into marriage.
Why Do Men Ignore Their Wives?
What does a guy think when he ignores you, and what can you do about it? There’s are so many reasons why your man will ignore you.
Feeling ignored is painful. It’s a common situation most couples deal with. Everything starts great, and then after a while, you begin to notice he’s keeping to himself a lot.
If you noticed he stopped getting close, and he doesn’t respond to you, then it means he’s ignoring you and something is going on.
This will, in turn, keep you replaying your actions in your head as you ask yourself what happened and what you said or what you did? Why is it difficult for him to say it out?
People have researched into it, and they found out that the region of the brain that is responsible for processing emotional responses gets lighted up.
The more uncertain you are as a result of you being ignored, the more it registers in your brain and is difficult to handle because that part of your brain can’t separate physical threats like being threatened from being ignored; the brain views it as been same and reacts to it same way.
People say forget about it, what’s the big deal? If he’s not responding to you, let him go, but that’s not so easy.
Trying to talk yourself out of it isn’t effective; not only does it feel threatening, it’s painful and has a side effect on you. The silent treatment, no matter how short causes pain that no drug can cure.
But first things first, You have to be sure he’s ignoring you. Be certain that you are not overreacting or panicking. Once you get the feedback, then you may need to step back and strategize.
Sometimes it may be a lack of communication. He may be busy and may not be with his phone, but if you think he’s ignoring your calls and keeps you in that mood for days, then it means something is going wrong, and now you can begin to worry if you feel like your husband is ignoring you.
Why Do Husbands Ignore Their Wives (9 Reasons)
1. Perhaps He Feels You Are Controlling His Time
Your man could feel you are controlling the way he spends his time. Men love to be free, they want to feel independent, and as women, we want that connectivity; we want to spend time, want to cuddle, and nest while our men want to be flexible and just have their time.
Sometimes, when you get in his space, the man might ignore you because he feels you are controlling him or trying to tell him how to spend his time, and you’re pulling him from being independent and so he feels the best way to have his time is to ignore you.
2. When You Expect Too Much From Him
You may be expecting him to always spend time with you in your dating days, yes, he may have been there all the way, but now the time has changed, life has happened, probably kids are on the way, there’s a job to keep, there’s family to cater for, and then he’s all there, but really in as much as he wants to spend time with you, he cannot give you all of his time.
When he has free time for himself, he just wants to rest or probably do some other things, but there you probably want him to spend the whole day with you, you want him to cook with you or go out with you.
This sounds easy but it isn’t, your man just wants his free time.
I know as a woman, it may be hard for you to process this, especially if you are the nesting type, but he has to have some time alone; it will help you if you let him do his thing. Allow him to have his time with the boys, do his video game or watch sports just allow him to do his thing.
3. When He Feels Guilty About Something
Sometimes, another reason is he may be feeling that he may have offended you and doesn’t know how to come out straight but instead want to withdraw into his shell.
It could be that he just feels being silent is what will help him so that you don’t explode or don’t get too angry. He could be playing hard to get.
Your man may be playing games with you. At the beginning of most relationships, men and women may do all they can to get your interest, and that involves playing hard-to-get, and this is a form of manipulation, especially when you have low self-esteem, but even if your self-esteem is on the high side and you’ve been with someone, and they start behaving like this it may make you get a very uneasy feeling, he may want you to be more receptive to him.
4. He’s Tired
Men have a way of shutting down after they have done all they can. You may have pushed your husband away with some action or inaction on your part.
5. He Could Be Punishing You
When one is intentionally ignoring you, it may be they want you to feel some pain. He may be motivated by revenge, and perhaps you may have ignored him, and he wants to do the same to you.
6. He’s Scared Of Confrontation
Your man may be ignoring you if he’s uncomfortable with confrontation, and he may be doing it to feel okay.
Being passive-aggressive isn’t good behavior. A lot of times, people don’t want to deal with issues by confronting or talking about them, so they tend to be silent.
Being upset about something and then you just go silent on yourself and don’t talk about it. It doesn’t help solve the problem at all. It only creates a ripple effect, and if it continues, it will make the victim feel unhappy. Remember, you’re not getting to the root of the problem yet
7. He’s Not Alone
This could mean your partner is not alone, and it could be one of two things.
If he’s ignoring you, it could mean he’s with someone that he’s hiding you from, or he’s busy.
Most people do this when they are cheating, they have a way of blocking their partners, and it’s not a good one. Is he ignoring you because he’s with someone else? If that’s the case, then be prepared for some kind of explanation from him.
8. He May Want To End Things Soon
Yes, you read correctly; he may be buying time to strategize and make the final move. When your man is no longer into you, he may consider being with you a waste of time.
He could be trying to stay away from you because he may not be able to confront you on breaking up with you.
What Do You Do When Your Husband Won’t Talk To You
1. Advice Him To Communicate
There’s nothing wrong when your man asks for time alone, especially in the middle of a heated argument or when he feels things may go overboard. Just advise him to let you know if he wants some time alone.
While we are exploring things you should do when your husband ignores you, I will be adding a mix of things you shouldn’t do also.
So what are the things you must not do because if you keep doing these thing’s, you may ruin your chances and keep hurting yourself?
2. Call Him Out
By this, I mean, point out this behavior. You can say, I noticed you have been away from me and have not been reaching out to me, and I’m not comfortable with it, what’s going on? Is all well?
Please don’t accuse your man, so he doesn’t become defensive. Just let your partner know that you’ve noticed a change in their behavior and then allow him to explain.
3. Label The Behaviour
This is another form of abuse, don’t allow it. Let him know the effect it has on you, and if there’s an issue, you will appreciate it if he can talk it out with you. Call it the silent treatment.
4. Don’t Keep Calling Or Texting Him
There could be a reason why he’s not attending to you, so over-calling and over texting may come across as overreacting. Just keep your cool and watch events unfold.
5. Don’t Go Begging
Don’t beg a person to stay with you; when you are rejected, you will be more hurt, don’t go begging and pleading, this will make them feel sorry for you, so if they are ignoring because they cannot handle confrontation, it means they will not be able to do better while they are even with you in marriage.
6. Don’t Insult Him
Don’t make matters worse by insulting him. Don’t pick a fight regardless of how angry you are; you may regret it in the long run.
7. Don’t Stalk Them
Don’t hunt for them, also don’t go to places where you know you will meet up with them. You’re doing that because you feel when they see you they will come back to you,
Don’t stalk their social media handles, just leave them, hunting them will hurt you, and your time will be spent worrying over them.
They don’t value you enough; let them walk. What if you walk into something you are not prepared for? I mean can you handle it?
A friend of mine had her husband ignore her for weeks. They lived like strangers. Morning greetings are responded to with a nod, and when she couldn’t take it anymore, she visited his office unannounced, only to find him pants down with his secretary at work. Sad but true.
8. Get Involved In His Activities
I used to be all cuddling and nestling until I got busy, but in the past, I found a way to get over the feeling of being lonely; I got involved with his activities too.
I never loved watching football, but whenever he holds the remote and changes the channel, I sit right beside him and so I could get interested in sports.
Try and get involved in his activities, it will also help you so you don’t feel he’s staying away from you. Get in there, just get into his plan, and then he will feel free, and then you both can meet in the middle.
9. Talk Things Out With Him
Instead of just tagging along, you can have an in-depth talk with him, especially if things are not working out, then you can tell him it’s okay by you if he wants to break up.
Allowing him to break up may make him. Open up some more, and if your man does not want to break up, then it means you can communicate about your needs and what you expect in the relationship.
10. If You Have Made A Mistake Fix It
Most times, women make mistakes, and then the men capitalize on them. In things like this, the first thing to do is take your time.
When you make a mistake, you want to fix it quickly and not allow time to pass. you are quickly calling or sending messages. You just want to resolve your mistake, but the first thing to do is take your time.
11. Control Your Emotions
Somehow, he wants to make you be the one to make the call or send the text messages.
It may not be easy for you because you love him being your husband but just ignore him, make him come back to his senses, or listen to you, so whatever you did wrong or if you did nothing wrong, let him respect you.
12. Get Busy
Pick something to put above him. Instead of waiting for your man, pick something good to make you feel better. Do something empowering and get over him.
Next time your man ignores you and makes you feel uncertain, do something that will take his thought away from you.
Once u get that, your brain will get used to this, and you will feel empowered. That way, you won’t be needy because he may not be ignoring you but busy, but at the same time, you would have invested your time positively instead of sulking and wasting time.
What if he returns with a good explanation? What happens to the time you wasted thinking and feeling bad? Since you invested your time doing something good, you will be less obsessive and trust me, you may not even know when next he ignores you because u will be busy empowering and investing in yourself
Remember that if a man is trying to ignore you, he is disrespecting you, and that’s not right. You are not building a strong foundation for your relationship too. It is not easy, especially since you are in a marriage relationship. Most times I advise women to take their time, let him know that you need to be respected as a woman.
You can rebuild communication, it’s easy, and then where you made a mistake, he thinks he has the power. Let him know that the relationship is for both of you; both of you have to work to do it together. Let him know that he needs to show you that he can love you.
You don’t have to be quarrelsome about it; it’s just having it at the back of your mind and then acting accordingly so while you take your time, you work at rebuilding the relationship and how do you do that, you communicate with him, go out with your friends, get busy, work on action and do something for yourself.
When he realizes that you are busy and doing something, then he will run after you. We enable our men when we allow some bad behavior; your husband will come back when you get over him, just forget and get busy, then he will come back.
It may not be easy to get things right, especially if you didn’t watch it while dating, but you need to work on your mindset. Keep working on yourself and then make sure that your happiness does not revolve around him, you need to make yourself happy as well.
Women may not understand the need for being calm, but through these, whatever happens around us gets registered in the brain. When your man makes you panic or uncertain, you get worked up.
You feel pain, and then somehow he comes around, you feel okay, but the truth is when it happens again, you become needy, your brain begins to wait for that moment when he calls, and then he does the same.
Do you know that you just lost some power? Don’t put all your focus on waiting on him, but the truth is it’s a behavior that should not be enabled or encouraged in any way. If there is an issue, fix it, talk about it like I stated earlier.
It’s not a problem if you have a misunderstanding, and in a bid not to allow things to get overheated, you decide to be calm, but it’s best to communicate and let him say he is not really in a good mood now, can we just wait for a while?
And then you respect your man’s space by allowing some time pass and after that, when you revisit the issue and have it sorted out but just going quiet on you giving the silent treatment is not good.
Sharing is caring!
