You shouldn’t let your heart skip a beat at the sight of the word “important” used in the line above.
As valid as it appears, it doesn’t mean you will be sitting before a jury while on a date; it only means that some vital questions should be addressed on a first date to let you know if your date is a potential partner or just one you can hang around as friends.
You are definitely not going to get married right after now, so just relax and read on. When people decide to hang out, there’s this anxiety of not knowing what to talk about, and we will be exploring that shortly.
We would be looking at questions to ask on the first date. You can use them on the first date or any day to make you more connected.
Usually, this connection happens at some point when you converse, and some funny kind of silence shows up, and you are sitting either across or beside your partner feeling awkward.
The truth is that sometimes you will run out of what to say, but there is a key ingredient in managing conversations and not bore your date. The key ingredient is talking and making it fun and not looking for facts.
First Date Conversation Tips
We will talk about the awkward times on your date because you will run out of things to say. People often go for facts and make conversations with their mates boring; they don’t create any variety.
Most people go on dates and begin bombarding their dates with questions like:
- What do you do for a living?
- How many siblings do you have?
Questions like this don’t work well because you’re trying to get facts, why not go for the other side and watch if the person will be a good match for you.
Facts will come up as you progress in the relationship, at this point, focus more on who the person sitting across the table is.
Facts will only point to things surrounding the person, and these are trivial issues that you can sort out later. So don’t bother people around them just yet, focus on getting to know who they are.
Another mistake people make is getting intense and interrogating their partner, they may be worn out and bored.
Don’t make your date feel they are on a job interview and begin to ask questions like where do you see yourself in 5 years or what’s your ideal partner like?
I think that is pretty intense, don’t overwhelm your date; instead, take it one step at a time else you could be disconnected from them.
Since it’s not advisable to ask some of the questions I highlighted, then what should you talk about then?
- Ask high-quality questions, and these could revolve around their everyday experiences.
- Those kinds of questions will help you get things interesting between you two and you would have some fun too.
Asking quality questions gives you the ability to learn how your date thinks and what they value in life. This will help in determining if you two are a good match for each other.
Each question should make your partner look forward to the next question. Ask questions that will ignite the imagination of your date and make them think and also help you discover the real person with you.
What To Talk About On A First Date
Ask questions about their past, where they are now, and what they want in life. This will help you get to know them on a more intimate level then you can tell if you can be partners or just leave it at the first date.
So How Do You Ask The Questions?
There’s so much to talk about. You will not exhaust all the questions I’m about to share in a day, you spread it across dates to come.
Since there’s so much to talk about, you could pick a few that you want to ask and just use them at strategic times.
Next, be open to the answers they give, how they respond and be open to what their response will be and then observe how much they are willing to give up in terms of information.
Have fun also, don’t be too serious about the questions just enjoy the moment.
You may have texted, talked or even seen each other somehow so meeting each other, you may bring a line from what you have talked about over the phone and start a conversation.
Begin by talking about general things, talk about the environment you’re in and in between begin bringing up the questions i will be sharing with you so you don’t allow any period of awkward silence.
You can begin by saying we’ve known each other for quite some time now and how about we get to know each other better? then you just go ahead and begin to ask questions
The beauty of this kind of question is that your partner will also get to ask you some questions, it will seem like an exchange until you both get into a conversation. so you pick the ones you feel good about, you don’t have to use everything.
First Date Conversation Topics
Note that these topics can be shared with both sexes, either male or female.
1. Who Are You?
This sounds intense but it isn’t. All you should be looking out for here is how much they know about themselves. Their personality, strengths and even weaknesses.
The easiest way to connect with someone is to get them talking about themselves. By asking them this question, you may find a part of them that resonates with you also.
Embedded in this question is a total of who they are, as you continue in the relationship, you will discover if what they said matches with what they do.
2. What Are Your Hobbies?
What do they do during their leisure? What do they enjoy doing effortlessly when they are alone or with people?
They could go on to share some experiences with you. You also should be prepared to give a response too.
3. What’s Your Passion
As they talk about their passions, you will get insights into who they are. As they talk you can gauge their intellect and know what they’re capable of doing.
You will also know if you have similar passions or interests so as you ask questions you will be answering questions and then your conversation would keep flowing.
4. Favourite Spots
Here you will be talking about favorite places to visit. It’s a good question that will give you more insight into what makes. happy. do they love it quiet or noisy and adventurous? This will let you know if they are introverts or extroverts also.
Do they have a secret place where they can go to relax, unwind, and escape the world? These questions give others a glimpse into our “happy place” and allow them to see what kinds of settings make us feel we can be most like ourselves.
Then you can see if you also match here too.
5. What Was Your First Sensual Experience Like?
This question is intense but can be added to the mix especially if your date is someone you have to know for some time, please don’t ask this if you don’t know them too well. This question will make them talk as they share their experiences.
6. Your First Kiss
Your date may be shy but they will open up to you. Be prepared for some laughter because their first kiss may have been in high school or even someone they had a crush on. Just enjoy the moment. Something the next thing is telling tell me about your most awkward kiss number three
7. Any Childhood Memories You Will Love To Share?
Your date may talk about their siblings, friends, environments they grew up in. Don’t be surprised to hear them talk about family.
Somehow, their family members and siblings will come up in conversation even when you never asked. Here you could hear how growing up was like, family vacations and a host of other things. You will also have a hint of their background.
They could talk about people they miss and would love to see again. You can see that the conversation is getting more interesting
8. If You Won A Couple Of Million Dollars In A Lottery, What Would You Do With It?
This will let you into their world. Their needs, fears, ability to focus and even their awareness level.
9. A Day You Can Never Forget
If you could relive one day in your life now, what would it be? It may be sad, exhilarating or even a joyful one but listen closely.
10. If You Were Told That You Have More Than One Month To Live, What Would You Do And How Would You Spend It?
This is a question that will make your date reflect. You can tell if there are things they regret in life, things they would want to accomplish and also let you know how much they care about people.
11. Favourite Movies?
This question will open up some more interesting conversations. Some movies mirror us as individuals so you could also ask what movie have they watched that had a significant impact on your life? You could spread it across books, music or even sports depending on your area of interest and that of your date.
12. If You Could Trade Lives With One Person, Who Would It Be And Why?
Listen and hear them share and also share yours giving reasons why you chose that person.
13. If You Could Marry Any Fictional Character You’ve Ever Seen, Who Would You Marry?
This will open your partner up and make them talk regardless of how they are and you will get to know them the way they think, their sense of humour and the playful part of them.
14. What’s On Your Bucket List?
This isn’t about being too forward, it’s about having an idea of what’s important to them, what drives them and that gives you some more topics to talk about.
If they talk about something on her bucket list, you also bring up something in yours and keep the conversation going as you keep exchanging plans.
15. Tell Me Something More About You
This is like saying “what are some random fun facts about you?”
Finding out about something interesting about another person that may not otherwise come up in regular conversation is a fun way to get to know them.
You’ve talked about their hobbies and possibly everyday experiences but there’s still more to them, don’t be shocked if you are sitting close to a detective or even a crazy personality.
16. What Is That Thing You Want To Learn Or Wish Were Better At?
My husband, who used to be my boyfriend, asked me this once on a date and it got me thinking.
I love snacks and pastries but I realized that even though I grew up in a house full of experienced bakers, I never thought of learning the skill of baking, I only enjoyed what comes out from the one and was least interested in what goes into it.
It spurred me to take action and I began learning. I’m not saying I’m great at it today but I’m better than I used to be.
This may not just be about answering but making your partner take action too.
17. What Are Your Hopes And Dreams?
This will make them talk about the future and what they want to achieve even right now.
18. Would You Rather Questions
These make conversations easier on a first date too. They can be answered by two of you as they come in varieties like from flirty to deep or even funny “would you rather questions”. This has been treated in previous posts, look out for it.
19. Any Embarrassing Moments?
” What’s the Most Embarrassing Thing You Can Remember that has Happened to You?” See if they’re comfortable sharing some of their most memorable embarrassing moments. Watch the emotion it evokes out of them.
Talking about our not so comfortable moments shows humility, vulnerability, and a sense of humour — is it important to you that your date can laugh at themselves once in a while, don’t you think so?
20. Who Are The Special People In Your Life?
Ask your date to talk about their siblings, best friends, grandparents, or even their pets. A good way to see someone’s character is to pay attention to how they talk about other people.
This question also shows you which people have had the biggest impact on your date’s life and who has helped shape them into the person they are today.
It’s so beautiful to listen to someone describe someone they love; one of my favourite things in this world is watching that little light catch in someone’s eyes when they tell me a story about a friend or loved one.
They will relate these people to some moments in their lives when they were down and they came through for them.
You could hear them say they would go to the ends of the earth to make them happy. It will tell you the state of their families, if they are happy or a disjointed one.
Some Things You Should Avoid Talking About While On A Date
So part of the things you shouldn’t talk about are
1. Avoid Talking About Your Ex
There’s nothing about talking about your ex because you can talk bad about your ex and nobody wants to hear someone talk bad about your ex, so you should avoid talking about it
Even if your date brings it up, simply say it didn’t work. Talking about your ex may make them feel you’re still into them or you are trying to say evil things about them.
2. Avoid Money Talk
Just like talking about your ex isn’t a good thing so also talking about how much money you make isn’t good. You may be looked upon as struggling or even bragging especially when what you do is common knowledge.
The idea of exploring the types of questions you can ask your date but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask your questions.
What if you sit beside your mate and can’t remember any of the questions listed here, does that mean that the date is over? Certainly not, be creative and remember to ask high-end questions that will give you an insight into who you are talking with.
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