As a husband, you owe it to your wife to always treat her with love and respect. You should cherish her and always ensure she knows you care for you. In this light, there are certain things a husband should never do.
Some certain things a husband should never do include lying, making comparisons to other women, cheating, being overly controlling, being abusive, withholding updates about your life, harboring unexplained jealousy, and disrespecting her.
It’s one thing to know what to do as a husband and another to understand what you should avoid. Loving and cherishing your wife isn’t rocket science, but there are certain mistakes that can easily ruin your relationship. Let me walk you through some key things to avoid if you want a happy and fulfilling marriage!
1. Excessive Lies
When it comes to things a husband should never do, lying tops the priority list. You must avoid lying excessively to your wife. As a matter of fact, avoid lying to your wife at all costs! It never ends well, and as we all know, honesty is the best policy.
You might feel the need to lie for a myriad of reasons. Some lies might be to cover up the truth, hide the truth, distort the truth, or a little white lie to shield the truth. At the end of the day, a lie is still a lie. A lie has the ability to crush your wife if she discovers you’ve been lying to her.
When men tell lies, it breaks down trust in a relationship or marriage, making the woman feel unsure about trusting the husband again. This, in turn, creates a rift in the marriage and can lead to a plethora of issues.
So, be as honest with your wife as possible. If you struggle to tell her the truth, be mindful and conceive a way to break it down to her gently. Being honest with your wife will save you a whole lot of trouble!
2. Make Comparisons
One of the worst things you can do to your wife is make comparisons to other women. Making a comparison means that you are saying someone else is better than her. This has the ability to ruin her self-esteem, lower her confidence, and even break the trust that she has in you.
So, when considering things a husband should never do, making comparisons to other women is part of it. I once dated a man who kept comparing me to his female friends, particularly his closest one.
He tried to get me to be just like her which you can imagine didn’t go down well. The relationship eventually ended because the comparison caused a wedge between us.
That’s a hassle you don’t want to go through. Your wife is her own unique entity. If you compare her to other women and try to get her to fit standards that are not hers, you are forcing her into a box that will not be appreciated at the end of the day.
The comparison also goes beyond looks. It could extend to culinary skills, gardening skills, or even work ethics.
The idea is simple: Don’t try to get your wife to conform and be someone she isn’t. You should love her as she is by encouraging her and not disparaging her.
3. Cheat
One of the biggest pains in a relationship is cheating. Cheating causes a total breakdown of trust. For a lot of women, cheating is unforgivable. When you cheat on your wife, you cheat on the vows you made before marriage.
Cheating is a very hurtful and painful experience for the partner being cheated on. It’s not something I wish on, even my enemies!
As a husband, your wife should be the love of your life. She should come before anyone else, and no one should attract you the way she does.
Cheating can start from as little as having daily conversations with women or thinking wry thoughts about women who aren’t your wife. You owe it to her to be faithful and honest!
4. Don’t Be Controlling
Husbands are typically regarded as the head of the home. However, this doesn’t mean you should be controlling in your home. It means you should love your wife and family with intentionality. Husbands who love with intentionality also lead with intent.
There’s a thin line between being caring and being controlling. For example, knowing your wife’s whereabouts is important. It’s a way of showing her you care about her safety. However, it can quickly become controlling when you want to police her movement, by telling her where she can go and can’t go.
No woman appreciates a man who breathes down her neck and gives no room for her to make decisions. It’s important you care for her without suffocating her.
It’s also important you make decisions for your home together. You should both make input about matters concerning your home. This way, your wife will appreciate you!
5. Be Abusive
Recounting things a husband should never do, such as being abusive and heavy-handed, tops the list. Abuse comes in many forms and ways, all of which should never be condoned. Abuse can be emotional, verbal, and physical, to name a few.
Emotional abuse can also be linked to psychological abuse, whereby oppression and isolation tactics are used to make a person feel lonely and rejected.
Verbal abuse involves using words that hurt and break down self-esteem. Physical abuse involves all forms of physical restraint and violence.
All forms of abuse are wrong and frowned upon. These are the things a husband should never do. As a husband, cherishing and loving your wife should be your top priority.
Whenever you have arguments that seem to escalate, take a step back and go to another room or go outside entirely.
By moving away, you take good control of the situation. You should also avoid hurling insults at your wife when you’re angry. Words have a way of sticking and leaving a long mark. Be kind to your partner!
6. Don’t Tell Her Business
Your wife’s business is nobody’s business! Avoid sharing intimate and personal details about your wife with people. The fact you have that information about your wife is because she trusts you. When you go and share that information with outsiders, it breaks your bond. It’s one of the things a husband should never do.
Sharing your wife’s business with family and friends is also not always a good idea. Especially if your wife isn’t on board with it. It may be something she wants to keep personal, or maybe you’re having issues and don’t want a third party to know.
You should respect that and avoid sharing excessive details about her. It shows you respect her autonomy and your marriage.
7. Unexplained Jealousy
A little jealousy is healthy occasionally, but when it becomes excessive and unnecessary, it’s a bad sign! It’s no news that trust is the lifeblood of a relationship. Without trust, a relationship will crumble. Jealousy often stems from the fear of losing your partner to someone else.
It’s normal to experience jealousy when you see your partner with the opposite gender. However, constantly lashing out at your wife whenever you see her with a man shows you’re becoming excessively jealous. It also alludes that you don’t trust your wife.
If you don’t feel comfortable with her around someone of the opposite gender, let her know in a gentle way. Remember, trust that your wife will uphold your vows. You should also trust her when she hasn’t given you any reason otherwise.
8. Disrespect Her
Cue the Aretha Franklin song! – R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Respect is important in every relationship. Respecting your wife shows her that you care about her, value her opinions, and respect her autonomy. One of the things a husband should never do is disrespect his wife.
Disrespect can come in many forms. It could be as little as arguing over something in public or purposely going out of your way to humiliate your wife.
When you respect your wife, she will automatically respect you, too. This isn’t rocket science or quantum physics. It’s simply the rule of love.
Respecting your wife means you respect her opinions, respect her decisions and respect her autonomy. It means you trust her judgment and her ability to succeed in whatever she does. It also means not humiliating her in public or trying to bring her down.
9. Break Trust
Trust is like glass when you break it—easy to break, hard to fix. It is one of the foundations that keeps a relationship going. Now, imagine this foundation is shaken or taken down. Everything else on top will fall off! This is why maintaining trust with your wife is key.
Don’t do things you know will corrode the trust in your marriage. When you do, your wife will lose trust in you and no longer see you as someone she can rely on.
Women love a man they can rely on. Trust means having faith that someone has your back and feeling safe around them.
You can break your wife’s trust by cheating, not communicating, mansplaining, making her feel unsafe, and betraying her. To avoid breaking her trust, you need to do the opposite of all those things! Rebuilding trust can take time, but you’ll get it right with the right approach and willingness!
10. Neglect Emotional Need
Do you fulfill your wife’s emotional needs? Emotional needs vary and can range from how your wife wants to be loved and treated to how she chooses to bond with you. Emotional neglect occurs when these needs are kicked aside.
Emotional neglect simply means a lack of consideration for your partner’s emotional well-being.
It bleeds into physical, financial, spiritual, and mental aspects. When a spouse is emotionally neglectful, it will break the connection in the marriage. As a husband, you must ensure you’re not neglecting your wife emotionally.
If you neglect her needs, you’ll realize she prefers time alone, she hardly talks when you’re around, you don’t do things together as a couple, and you lose track of what she wants or likes.
This is a recipe for disaster in your marriage. If you’re already heading down this road with your wife, you need to make a turnaround! Consider why there is neglect, work toward changing it, and understand your wife better. She will only start to be more open when she sees you are actually changing!
11. Put Work First
Women love a hardworking man, but everything has a limit! Are you so hardworking you don’t have time to spend with your family? As much as women love a hard worker who knows how to get things done, they also love a present and available man!
I worked in a big corporation some years ago and had a colleague who worked so much I was shocked to discover he had a wife and children.
How did I discover, you ask? She came to serve him divorce papers at the office! We all thought he cheated but that was far from the case. Where would he have had the time to anyway? The woman had simply grown tired of his unavailability and decided to call it quits.
Your presence is just as important as the work you’re putting in to provide for your family. You shouldn’t use your work as an excuse to miss out on bonding with your wife. That’s an example of things a husband should never do.
If your wife has planned a dinner date or an activity, and you constantly use work as an excuse not to go, she is going to feel neglected.
No woman wants to feel her husband’s work is more important than her. A good wife will always understand your schedule and respect it. As a good husband, you should also honor her wishes and show up when it matters.
Make time for your wife as often as you can. Just that show of effort to spend time with her will have you in her good books for life!
12. Neglect Physical Needs
When physical intimacy diminishes in a relationship, it becomes a problem. Physical needs can be varied from a warm embrace to a simple touch. Imagine your wife’s love language is physical touch, and you’re neglecting this need. This will make her feel undervalued and unheard of in your marriage.
If you’ve had an argument or fight, work through it rather than neglect your physical needs. Don’t let the issue fester for too long so that you totally ignore your wife.
Embrace your wife and kiss her today! Show her how much you love and appreciate her by holding her hand and keeping her close to you. She will feel happy and comfortable with you.
13. Dismiss Their Opinions
As a husband, you should always value your wife’s opinions. In the grand scheme of things, marriage is two people coming together and becoming one. That means you’re creating a life together and working together as a team.
Imagine you were on a basketball team, and every time you have an opinion, it gets dismissed by your teammates.
That’s exactly how your wife will feel if you dismiss her opinions. It shows that you don’t value her position on the team. This will raise issues in your marriage and make your wife feel underappreciated and unheard. This is why it is one of the things a husband should never do to his wife.
Ask for your wife’s opinions on things that concern your family as a unit and even you as an individual. It could be as little as asking about what shirt to wear or something bigger like your mortgage plans.
When you constantly make an effort to seek her opinion and keep her informed, she will feel loved and valued, knowing that her opinion counts!
14. Make Big Decisions Alone
Don’t make big decisions alone! In every marriage, both your opinions are needed. Marriage isn’t a one-man or one-woman show. As I’ve already mentioned, it’s joining two individuals to become one! As a good husband trying to avoid things a husband should never do, don’t make big and even small decisions alone.
Decisions about location, jobs, finances, and expanding the family need to be made together. You should always ask what your wife thinks before the final decision is made. Doing so will make you more reliable and trustworthy to your wife.
She will appreciate you and feel heard and important in the marriage. So, before making any major life decisions, sit down with your wife and discuss them!
15. Refuse To Communicate
Communication is the bedrock of every relationship. However, communication can be good and bad. Every successful relationship is characterized by good communication. When you refuse to communicate with your wife, it indicates deeper underlying issues.
Good communication means you understand your wife and communicate in a way she understands. This goes both ways. You both must be willing to learn good communication patterns and unlearn the bad ones. Bad communication is an example of things a husband should never do.
Be willing to communicate with your wife. Listen to what she says and be willing to take corrections! This is how your communication will improve and become effective. Don’t brush aside what she is saying or be adamant about your standpoint.
Remember, relationships are all about compromising and making the best decisions for you and your partner as a couple.
16. Withhold Affection
Withholding my affection from your wife is very bad form and represents the bulk of those things a husband should never do. It is classified as a form of punishment or abuse.
Withholding affection is also a petty way of getting someone to do your bidding. It is undoubtedly childish and inconsiderate. It can also result from not understanding how to show affection.
Withholding affection can manifest in many formats, such as silent treatment, lack of physical and emotional intimacy, passive-aggressive behavior, mansplaining, and refusing to respond to physical affection.
It is a very bad practice that can hurt your wife dearly. Imagine seeing your favorite food a few feet away from it, yet you can’t touch or eat it. That’s what withholding affection feels like. You’re at a close distance, yet you’ve made yourself far away from your wife.
You need to break this cycle of punishment and abuse! Your wife deserves to be loved wholly and completely. Communicate your feelings with her and let her understand how you feel. Remember to be calm and gentle as you discuss.
17. Ignore Boundaries
A good husband always respects his wife’s boundaries. Many people confuse boundaries with trying to put a roadblock in the relationship. But that is totally wrong! Boundaries are just a way of maintaining your individuality in a relationship, as it is often lost, most especially in a marriage.
Boundaries can help you prevent issues and conflicts in your marriage. It’s a way of protecting your sense of self as well as preserving the quality of your marriage.
Understand what your wife’s boundaries are and respect them. She may value her space and time or have rules she wishes to be respected, especially within the home.
Respecting boundaries reduces the appearance of conflict. Remember, ignoring boundaries is something a husband should never do!
18. Disregard Responsibilities
What screams of a bad husband like irresponsibility? When husbands disregard responsibilities, conflicts, and rifts in the relationship are caused. An irresponsible husband fails to fulfill his promises and obligations to his wife and family.
The signs of an irresponsible husband can range from failing to meet a financial quota to being selfish, emotionally and physically unavailable, and dumping duties on everyone while running away from them.
One of the major things a husband should never do is be irresponsible! It opens up the door for a lot of problems and issues in a marriage.
So, take responsibility in your marriage. Communicate with your wife openly and honestly. If you ever run into issues, let her know; don’t try to hide it. Hold yourself accountable at all times and set healthy boundaries. This will help you be responsible and love your family better!
19. Compare To Others
When exploring things a husband should never do, don’t compare your wife to other people! The comparison shows you don’t appreciate your wife for who she is. We are all very different individuals and don’t exactly fit into a box.
Comparing your wife to other people is the fastest way to leave her good books. Appreciate your wife’s uniqueness.
There’s only one of her. Why would you want to mold her into someone else? Loving your wife for who she is will make her feel loved, appreciated, and valued. It will also help her sense of self and maintain her individuality in your marriage.
20. Use Manipulation Or Guilt
Manipulation is a bad tactic often used to control a narrative. It creates problems in a marriage and leaves the other party feeling emotionally drained. We have many manipulation tactics, with gaslighting being one of the most common ones.
Gaslighting means making your partner believe what isn’t true.
This manipulation tactic will not only leave your partner feeling emotionally drained but also uncertain and confused about themselves. Manipulation is very bad and should never be used in a marriage. Guilt tripping is another one of the things a husband should never do.
Manipulation and guilt-tripping will always do more harm than good in the long run and should be avoided at all costs!
Do And Don’ts For Husbands?
Marriages are different; all couples differ from one another. However, when it comes to marriages, we have certain rules that are universally accepted everywhere. These rules are general and should be second nature! I’ll call them the Dos and Don’ts of marriage for husbands.
Do:
1. Cherish and love her: The foremost thing you need to do as a husband is love and cherish your wife. She should be the center of all your affection and the owner of your heart. She should never have to question your love for her. She should always feel loved and valued by you.
2. Consult her: Your wife is your partner. She is not just your life partner but also your financial partner, decision partner, and even business partner. You’re doing life together, so it’s essential she’s with you every step of the way. Ask for her opinions on things that concern your marriage and even individual life. Consulting her will increase her trust in you and yield positive results. After all, two heads are better than one.
3. Compliment her: Compliment your wife at every opportunity you can! Compliments have a way of making our hearts grow fonder when we hear them. Women love to know their men appreciate their looks, especially after many years of marriage.
4. Respect boundaries: Boundaries can help you to prevent issues and conflicts in your marriage. Understand your wife’s boundaries and learn to accept and respect them! Respecting her boundaries will also set the pace for her to respect your boundaries.
Don’t:
1. Cheat: Never cheat on your wife! Cheating is one of the ultimate betrayals that can occur in a relationship. It breaks trust, causing a rift in your partnership. Be honest and loyal to your wife.
2. Use manipulation: Manipulation is usually employed to subdue one partner or get them to behave in a certain way. It is a backhanded method of making your partner feel guilty for what shouldn’t be so. Be honest with your wife and avoid causing her duress.
3. Withhold affection: Withholding affection can manifest in many formats, such as silent treatment, lack of physical and emotional intimacy, passive-aggressive behavior, mansplaining, and refusing to respond to physical affection. It is a very bad practice that can hurt your wife dearly. Be affectionate with your wife and work on deepening your bond and connection.
4. Neglect: Neglect can take many forms, the most common being physical and emotional neglect. Don’t neglect your wife, especially after a fight or argument. Learn how to use dialogue to settle issues!
What A Husband Should Not Do In A Marriage?
There are several things a husband shouldn’t do in a marriage. To name a few:
1. Dishonesty: Honesty is the foundation of trust in any marriage. Small lies may grow into big issues and may lead to emotional distance. A husband should never lie, no matter how much it may make his partner feel uncomfortable. He should, however, be gentle and kind in his delivery.
2. Cheat: Infidelity is one of the most destructive things that can happen in marriage. Besides causing a break in trust between partners, infidelity undermines the emotional and physical bond that exists between them. It gives birth to feelings of betrayal and can have long-lasting effects on both spouses’ self-esteem and emotional wellbeing.
3. Comparing: Constantly comparing his wife to other women or past relationships is demeaning. She may start to feel inefficient and unliked in such situations. As a husband, concentrate on your wife’s unique qualities and strengths and celebrate individuality in the relationship.
4. Be indifferent: Indifference or emotional unavailability can create a big emotional vacuum in a marriage. A husband must never be indifferent to the feelings, needs, or concerns of his wife.
How Should A Man Treat A Wife?
A man should treat his wife like she’s the most important person in the world! Sounds cliche, but a man should love his wife dearly. When you love someone, you wouldn’t go out of your way to do her bad.
1. Be kind: Kindness is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. It involves being considerate of your wife’s feelings, showing affection, and offering support during difficult times. A husband should treat his wife compassionately, making her feel valued and loved.
2. Be sweet: Little acts of sweetness-like compliments, surprise actions, or just simply lending a helping hand-are what keep romance alive. A husband should make an effort to nurture the emotional connection by showing his love through actions and words that make his wife feel cherished.
3. Be honest: Honesty is more than telling the truth. It means being open about feelings, fears, and even weaknesses. A husband who is honest develops a deeper emotional connection with his wife, whereby she can trust him and feel secure in the relationship.
4. Be present: Being present is much more than just physically being there; it means being fully present with your wife emotionally and mentally. A husband is supposed to make time to hear, communicate, and be a participant in the marriage. Spending quality time together will reassure your wife of your love for her and strengthen your emotional bond.
Conclusion:
And there you have it! 20 things a husband should never do! From being manipulative, lying, cheating, and making comparisons, we discussed different reasons why husbands should only cherish and love their wives.
I hope these tips were helpful for you. Remember, a good husband loves his wife, makes an effort, and treats her with utmost care and respect!
