It is a common misconception that only women suffer insecurities to a discomforting degree. The truth is, it affects the male folk too, and the signs of an insecure man are easy to spot if you know what to look for.
Having insecurities has almost become the norm, especially in this age where perfectionism, and the trendy internet life is in vogue.
As a result, it is easy to get depressed by what you see in other people that you’re lacking. However, if a man is insecure in his relationship, it goes deeper than just surface disappointment at achievements not yet made.
His insecurities would stand in the way of receiving and giving love healthily in a relationship and affect his perception of the people all around him. He could get controlling and seek to stifle anything that remotely resembles a threat to his relationship.
This is a dangerous behavior and would do no good to either party. Below are apparent signs of an insecure man in a relationship
1. He Is Clingy
If your man is clingy, then that could be a sign that he is insecure. However, this sign might not be readily discernible because it often starts as a constant display of affection.
Soon, it grows to a suffocating point, and what seemed like couple goals previously becomes an overwhelming nightmare of your man practically hovering over you all the time. Now, it seems he wants to spend time with you all the time.
He wants to always go out with you, insists on holding your hand, or touches you in some way when you are outside as if he is staking a claim.
Some people get to the stage where they cannot differentiate between their schedule and their partner’s. It is as if they have lost their personality and life somewhere during the relationship.
Some men who do this insist their partners cut down on their engagements and involve them in what is left of their personal life.
They want to go everywhere with their partners as if to ensure they are where they said they’d be. If your man is attached to you this way, this should tell you that he is displaying one of the signs of an insecure man.
2. He Distrusts You
A little dose of jealousy is healthy, and even cute. But when overblown, it can be a dangerous behavior.
Unhealthy jealousy comes from a partner who isn’t secure in his woman’s love for him. His distrust doesn’t stem from anything she has done but from his insecurities.
If your partner does not trust what you say and constantly doubts or questions your loyalty, it is one of the signs of an insecure man.
People like this get unnecessarily suspicious of their partner’s engagements and activities. They want to know everybody their partner associates with and would never take their partner’s word for what it is worth.
Women with partners like this find it hard to work with male colleagues or hang out with friends or places if men are going to be there too.
It is not that they particularly distrust their partner; it is just they are just so unsure of their own attractiveness that they feel the need to prevent their partner from seeing better options.
They don’t trust their girlfriends not to look the other way when they see an attractive man and are afraid that their partner would soon realize they got the short end of the stick by being in a relationship with them and subsequently run off with another.
3. Asks For Reassurance Of Your Love Too Often
Of all the signs of an insecure man, this one is relatively easy to detect. Insecure men always need approval and are concerned about how others see and perceive them.
So they get uneasy if the general perception of them by other people shifts from the falsehood they’re trying to project.
To a large extent, his woman’s opinion matters a lot, too, even more than the opinions of the outsiders he is trying to impress for apparent reasons.
His woman is the one he is trying to be in a relationship with, so it is essential that she remains crazy about him and doesn’t regard him in any flawed or imperfect way.
This is why such a man would constantly seek your opinion about his appearance and personality. They also keep fishing for compliments until it borders on excessive. You might be flattered because they seem to care what you think about them and give you so much attention. Don’t be deceived, an insecure man is likely lurking under all that charade.
4. He Is Controlling
An insecure man would keep you reined in, whether there is a reason to do that or not. He controls the relationship by gaslighting you until you succumb to his manipulations.
He deliberately isolates his woman from all who care about her, guilt-trips her into choosing between him and her family and friends, and enforces his role as the sole protector and safe space for her to the exclusion of others.
All this leaves the woman in a position where she can’t seek help outside or be interested in any other person outside the relationship because her insecure partner has convinced her of her absolute unworthiness without him.
An insecure man could be controlling in all ramifications, even regarding his partner’s dress and finances. He would take charge of any part of her life that he feels would give her a sense of independence. The primary purpose of this kind of behavior is to make her believe that she cannot get a better partner.
One of the signs of an insecure man in a relationship is to satisfy himself that you won’t be able to leave him, especially with all the influence and control he has over you.
5. He Feels The Need To Show Off
There are many ways an insecure man would show off, which sends a signal to everyone that he is the best man on earth.
In addition, his need to show off might nudge him into constantly comparing himself to others. This is one of the signs of an insecure man. Insecure men always want to stand out, even if they are the least qualified in the crowd.
It is hardly a matter of holding oneself in high esteem because they still feel the need to show off in situations where it is uncalled for.
There is just this innate urge to prove to everyone that they are better off, have a good life, and all the good things in life.
They place themselves on a high pedestal, above former partners and all men that their partners may find attractive. They compare themselves to others, even colleagues at work and TV stars on cable, to boost their ego.
They do this to reassure themselves that through it all, they are still the man their partner fell for and that they look nicer than all the types of men their partner may be attracted to.
6. He Blames Others For His Misfortune
Since an insecure man likes to view himself through the lens of perfection, it is near impossible for him to admit to his own mistakes. Instead, he’d rather blame others than own up for the wrong done.
This mindset is applied to things as trivial as minor quarrels and also to things as big as a career, job opportunities, etc. It can never be his fault that he lost his job or missed the big break of his career.
It can never be his fault that his relationships are crumbling. He’d rather blame other people involved or some other circumstance. This is a delusional way to live, and it is one of the signs of an insecure man.
These men are also prone to lying, especially when they see that it is impossible to blame someone else for what happened, as it is clear to everyone concerned. It is important to them to keep their precious reputation untainted.
7. He Cannot Stand Criticism
The ego of an insecure man is quite fragile. They cannot stand any form of criticism, no matter how insignificant it is or how it was rendered.
It is simply baffling and unacceptable to them that there is a taint in their character or person. This behavior is easily one of the signs of an insecure man.
Not only are they unable to stomach criticism, but they are also quick to defend themselves whenever they perceive anything that looks like a threat to their reputation.
Even if they are wrong, they cannot be caught apologizing for making a mistake. To them, it is almost like admitting that they are inadequate, and since their false confidence is their strength, they will not apologize.
8. Not Replying To His Text Or Call On Time Sets Off A War
This sign stands next to distrust. Besides the fact that insecure men are known to make apprehensive calls to their partners to inquire about their whereabouts, a routine call without a reply equally spells trouble.
There are many reasons why a person’s partner won’t pick up their calls immediately or reply to a text as soon as they get it. Under normal circumstances, one would first wait a while, just in case their partner is busy at the moment and can’t take calls.
If the response time grows more prolonged than usual, then they try to find out why. However, with an insecure man, the reaction is like a bombshell. A barrage of negative thoughts flows through his mind if his partner does not pick up or reply to texts quickly.
A deep sense of distrust sets in, and the man is suddenly spoiling for an argument. Finally, he concludes that his partner was doing something equal to betrayal when he called, which is why she did not pick up. A man who acts like this displays the signs of an insecure man.
His insecurities will drive him to suspect you of infidelity at times like this because he is not confident in his ability to sustain the attraction you have for him.
9. He Likes Throwing Around His Masculinity
In all honesty, a man trying to prove his masculinity, and enjoys throwing it around a lot, is not always confident, contrary to popular belief.
One of the signs of an insecure man is excessive displays of masculinity. This behavior is often necessitated by the belief that the more masculine he is or pretends to be, the more his partner would value him above other men.
Where there are no men to rival against, they may try to dominate that environment with a superior air of masculinity and capability. When there are other men, however, things take an interesting turn.
The exaggerated masculinity becomes more pronounced, and he tries to show it in his actions and often words that he is better than every other man on the scene, especially if his girlfriend and her loved ones are there to see.
A confident man does not need to prove his capability. Instead, it effortlessly rolls off him for everyone to see without him being particular about it.
10. People’s Opinions Bother Him A Lot
An insecure man’s reactions to people’s opinions about him are often almost alarming to witness. They shelf opinions in two boxes; one for compliments and the other for feedback and criticism. The former, they specifically thrive on and seek from people. The latter, however, they either disregard or obsess over.
An insecure person can never accept the fact that he is imperfect. Any statement that remotely alludes to his imperfection is immediately rejected.
However, they’d still ponder over the feedback they get obsessively because, deep down, it speaks to the true self they are hiding under glitz and glam.
Then they get irritated and scared that someone seems to have seen through their disguise, which keeps them on their toes. A man who is easily moved and affected by people’s opinions about him is simply manifesting the signs of an insecure man.
He is both bothered and motivated by feedback or criticism. Bothered about being seen for who he truly is and inspired to strengthen his facade so it would be harder to see through him.
11. He Is Too Bothered About His Looks
The tangible qualities in a secure man, such as confidence, are already lacking, so his looks would matter so much to him. It is a massive part of the facade he puts on, so it is important to him that he remains attractive.
Besides being generally considered desirable, he also wants to ensure that he maintains the status quo of his physical outlook and even improve on it. He believes that will keep you attracted to him.
A man who acts like this is merely displaying the signs of an insecure man. Contrary to his thinking, his obsession with looks would only worsen his insecurities and keep him selfishly occupied and fixated.
It would also make him more irritable because he would always be fishing for compliments, and when he gets anything less than what he is expecting, he will handle it as harshly as he would handle outright criticism.
12. He Talks Down On People Doing Better Than Him
As has been reiterated in this article, an insecure man has a hard time accepting that someone else is better than he is at anything.
So when he meets a person who is better than he is, jealousy and irritability set in. He feels threatened by said person’s capability, and his anxiety about this would definitely increase.
In this case, the predictable move of an insecure man would be to slander this other person and taint his character before other people so that people’s respect for him will decline. The inability to live with the fact that some other person is better is one of the signs of an insecure man.
How Does An Insecure Man Behave?
How does an insecure man behave? The way an insecure man behaves is almost predictable.
He would do almost anything to keep up the lies he has woven around his personality. He would also try to keep the spotlight on himself so that he’d always look like the best man in the room when in reality, he likely isn’t.
Being in a relationship with an insecure man can be disappointing. For one, you will be mentally, emotionally, and even financially exploited. Because an insecure man does not see beyond himself and his needs, he may become jealous of your successes, especially if you are excelling in your field and he is not.
Then he would pick up fights with you to rile you up and make you say things you would regret. He would probably use those words against you at some later date. An insecure man is manipulative and inherently selfish. He is also not confident in his abilities and is too proud to admit his faults.
Rather than seek help and correction, he resorts to making the lives of people around them miserable so they can feel good about themselves and drown out the voice of their insecurities.
Early Signs Of An Insecure Man
What are the early signs of an insecure man? Before the signs of an insecure man become pronounced and start to affect their loved ones, some early signs might show.
One such sign is clinginess. At first, this sign is not exactly noticeable because it seems your partner is merely being sweet and intentional about making you feel loved.
It is flattering that they want you with them everywhere they go, and you feel like you are being shown off like a prize and the priceless gift that you are.
Your bubble bursts the moment you realize that you almost have no activity of your own, no life of your own.
You are always doing something with your partner. There is no breathing space or separate activity; everything has to be done together.
Soon enough, what started out romantic becomes suffocating, and you simply want to be out of the toxic situation.
Another early sign that your man is insecure is when he does not respect your privacy. He checks your phone, reads your messages and emails without apology, and tries to stay aware of those who contact you.
They do this to keep tabs on you and satisfy themselves that you are not cheating. Without this measure, they get fidgety and struggle to trust you and take your word for it.
How Do I Know If He’s Insecure?
You might wonder, ‘How do I know if he’s insecure?’ Well, there are several ways to know if a man is insecure.
He is insecure if he exhibits any of the above mentioned signs in this article. However, what summarily pegs him as insecure is how he treats other people.
Insecure people are known to constantly try to make other people feel insecure too. Since they are always on the edge and do not have much confidence in themselves, they try to make others feel that way too.
The signs he is an insecure man play out when he is trying to flirt with other women just to keep you wondering if he is cheating or not. He may also act cold and nonchalant towards his friends for a brief spell then get back to being extra jovial with them like nothing happened.
Another way you can know that he is insecure is by observing his perception of himself. You don’t need to look far beyond the surface to see it.
If he has an exaggerated perception of himself and an inflated ego, he’ll likely be narcissistic and regularly gaslight those around him.
He thinks he is better than everyone else and that nothing is his fault. Therefore he makes it his business to convince other people that they are the cause of his actions and the root of his misfortunes.
How To Tell If A Man Is Secretly Insecure
How to tell if a man is secretly insecure is a skill you should learn as a lady in the dating pool. This is to avoid entering a relationship that will cost you your peace.
If you want to know if he is insecure or not, examine his behavior. The worst nightmare of men like this is someone finding out who they truly are on the inside.
This makes them create a camouflage over their personality, lying to themselves and pretending to be who they are not, until they start believing it themselves.
Because they perceive their insecurities as weaknesses on their part, it is no wonder that they want to hide them. On top of that, to create the perfect cover, they try to become the extreme opposite of their true selves. They become pompous and assume the persona of an ideal, strong character without flaws.
They choose to see only the commendable things about themselves, and when they make mistakes, they get irritated and anxious.
They would likely pin the blame on someone else because the character they have created is proud and incapable of doing wrong.
In a nutshell, a secretly insecure man would be proud and try to overrate his importance. He is prone to showing off to ensure everyone understands and accepts his position.
Warning Signs Of An Insecure Man
What are the warning signs of an insecure man? Here are some of them, and before you jump into a relationship with anyone, it is pertinent to observe and be sure these warning signs of an insecure man aren’t present.
Better to sniff it out right from the start than when you’re already deep into the relationship.
1. He Has Little or No Friends
Although this doesn’t apply to every insecure guy, some are known to have little or no interests and are sorely lacking friends.
This is a huge red flag because when he gets you into a relationship, you will probably be his only source of entertainment, and he will suffocate you with his presence.
2. He Loves Validation A Lot
Another warning sign to look out for is when you meet a guy who constantly seeks validation. Even when he is randomly complimented, he makes a big deal of it and spends unreasonable time on it.
Doing this gives the impression that he doesn’t have a personal measurement of his worth and depends on others to provide him with that. Not a good sign at all.
CONCLUSION
The last thing anyone wants is to end up with an insecure man who will drive them crazy with their narcissism and need for validation in the relationship. So this article, 12 Signs of an insecure man, is a fair warning in advance.
If you’re already in a relationship with an insecure man and don’t know what to make of the signs you are seeing, this article aims to help you finally put a name to your problem and understand why your partner acts the way he does.
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