Is It Okay To Kiss On A First Date?

Do You Kiss On The First Date?

First dates are usually a combination of enthusiasm hidden by a composed personality, an air of uncertainty masked by 2 well-dressed people who want to meet and greet and then the much-dreaded thought of should I go in for a kiss or not, Comes up.

I’ve sat at a couple of first date tables and just like you, I had a list of what to do and what not to do in my heart and possible conversations to engage in so there is no awkward silence between me and my date.

This is a kind of tricky topic as a yes or no answer would depend on the persons involved but as we explore together, we would be looking at the pros and cons of kissing on a first date while the decision is up to you to make if you should kiss or not.


Is It Okay To Kiss On A First Date?

Kissing on the first date isn’t wrong and it isn’t always right either, it depends on the circumstances. There is no wrong or right answer on if you should kiss on the first date, it depends on you, your date, and what you both want at that particular moment.

Let’s face it, most guys want to kiss a girl on the first date and most girls are confused about this big question.

A kiss is an intimate expression, it shows an invisible bond and signifies that both of you are now intimately involved with each other and it could also take a relationship into the next stage whether you’re ready or not.

You can’t take the kiss back so whenever a guy wants to know if a lady is having a good time with him, if he has gotten her, or if he wants a convincing sign that she likes him, he may offer a kiss.


What Does A Kiss On A First Date Mean?

Amongst a whole lot of things, a kiss on the first date could mean that you guys have heated days of attraction and you are willing to take the relationship to the next level.

It could also mean you both have chemistry and you are reciprocating what your date is offering you.

If you have been hanging out with a guy long enough, it means you are dating them intentionally and perhaps you are ready for the next phase of your relationship.


Why You Shouldn’t Kiss On The First Date?

You have thought about this a couple of times over. When is not acceptable to kiss on a first date?

There are reasons why you should skip the kiss on the first date:


1.  It’s Too Early

 It’s only been a few hours, you’re still getting to know your date and you really would not like to kiss a stranger.


2.  You May Not Want To Be With Them

You don’t think you would date them, you’re not sure you want to see this person again and you have no interest in kissing someone you don’t find fascinating.


3.  When You Feel Pressured To

When there’s just too much pressure to end the date with a kiss, please don’t do it. If it’s killing the mood and you can’t concentrate on your date because you’re constantly thinking about that kiss, you may find it easier to just avoid kissing on the first date so you can enjoy the date.


4.  So You Don’t Scare Your Date

We all go on dates prepared and want to put a healthy impression of our personality forward.

So if you find your date warm but not ready, especially when they seem to be enjoying your company and like you, it’s best to avoid going in for the kiss so you don’t spoil their expectation of you.


5.  Emotions Are High

 Remember your dopamine levels are high, don’t you think it’s best to wait and have a clear mind before engaging in this? this is one of the reasons why you should not kiss on the first date, learn to practice delayed gratification so that you can be more ready.

Don’t forget that once you’ve given it, you can’t take it back. Why not wait to give it to someone you want to be with and not just anybody.

6.  You Don’t Know Their Hygiene Level

We live in a world flying around with different diseases, you wouldn’t want to catch something that will affect your health in the long run.

Don’t you think it’s not ideal for health reasons to kiss just anybody and I mean a total stranger on the first date? I think sometimes you should be able to access your health status before getting into a kiss with them.


7.  A Kiss Could Get In The Way

When you connect on an emotional level with a date first, you may skip details that ought to be addressed. You are meeting to greet and to know each other and when a kiss takes over, there is a chemical reaction that could hamper the progress of meaningful discussions but rather connect with your bodies only.

You should get to know your date than falling headlong into them. Connect with them physically by spending time with them, rather than just parting your lips it’s better to allow the chemicals to go down and being objective before deciding if anything should go on.

8.  You Don’t Feel Like It

 You should not kiss when you don’t feel like it. This can happen at times, you like your date and want to see them again but you don’t feel like kissing them you, probably just want to enjoy their company. Then don’t try to lock lips with them.


9.  It Could Complicate Things

Most times, kissing on the first date could complicate things by making you move on the fast lane faster than you are ready to move. You won’t have the time to slow down. Sometimes you may have the gut feeling but because you have kissed them you may just decide to go with the flow.


How Soon Is Too Soon To Kiss?

When I say there’s no perfect time to kiss, I mean you could kiss at any time you feel convenient. You may decide to kiss before your first date or wait until you’ve known them for a couple of times but if there is a connection and your partner is willing, most times you don’t have to wait for everything. As long as you click, it won’t be a bad idea.

But as a lady of high value, I would say you should wait for the right time, if you go for the kiss too soon you may return disappointed and if the kiss doesn’t go well between you two, your partner may begin to avoid you.

On the other hand, if you wait for too long, you could end up being friend-zoned. So, whether it’s in the beginning or after some time, it’s all totally up to you to think if you can handle it.

When it comes to how soon is too soon, I feel it’s when you both feel the connection, you will know when it’s the right time as there is no timing to it. You watch out for cues to tell when your partner is ready and go for it. Trust me, you would know when the time is right.


If A Guy Kisses You On The First Date, What Does That Mean?

Kissing means different things to different guys and some guys feel that ending a date with a kiss feels great


  • If he doesn’t get to kiss you it would leave him feeling awkward and leave him confused if he should go for you or move. Guys are scared of rejection.
  • It helps him know if there is some level of chemistry between you guys and if he should push further, and if not why bother?
  • Some guys kiss out of curiosity not like they are really into you but they just want to see what your reaction will be like
  • If you have been friends with this guy before this first date, it could be a sign that he’s ready to take things to the next level. It could be his way of telling you he wants more. It’s a subtle way of saying we have been together, let’s take some more steps together.
  • It could be him expressing himself because he has found the right moment and he doesn’t know if he will get this opportunity again.
  • For some other guy, it may be a sign of enthusiasm more like he’s excited to be with you today and he wouldn’t mind seeing you again.
  • If a guy kisses you on the first date, it could be a red flag and by this I mean, if your culture or the environment where you are does not permit touching before marriage, it could mean he does not respect your values. A man who respects your values would not cross your boundaries, he will wait until you’re more comfortable with it which to your culture could mean within the confines of marriage.
  • It could also mean he’s creepy and wants to just get what he wants from you.
  • When you go out with a guy, he wants to know if he has made a good impression on you. Some guys could just feel this instant connection with you and want to show it, so him kissing you may mean, hey! I found something and I like to connect with it.


 Is A Kiss On The First Date A Big Deal?

 It can feel good but at the same time, there is no going back from the first kiss. it may leave one or two of you wondering if you’re going too fast. 

It may be looked at as an accident or unintentional to the other person and meanwhile, it could be all the other person wants. This could be confusing as you cannot see into each other’s hearts to see your intentions.

Another point worthy of note here is that many people may not be comfortable kissing someone they have been with only for a few hours.

If you’re living in a place where real life is fast-paced and people don’t have time to take it slow and easy you may see that kissing on the first date is more of a norm and not a big deal.


How Do Both Sexes Think About Kissing On A First Date?

There are lots of dating differences between men and women. Girls are very different from guys.

When you go on a date, to the guy, he would want to see a happy sign that the girl is enjoying herself on the date and that proves that she likes him.

On the kiss on the first date, a guy likes to sail while a girl wants to take it slow. A man can prepare himself within minutes for getting intimate but the woman takes a long time to prepare which is why conception as an example takes time because ladies love to think things through and prepare for them even when it feels right.

Kissing on the first date isn’t bad but it all depends on how comfortable you are with the idea. Some guys or girls feel that the first kiss could be a sign of commitment


 The First Kiss And The Fear Of Rejection?

Many people live by the code that they don’t kiss on the first date.

However, it goes for a few others at the end of the first date, it’s expected that you kiss them. For them, a lack of a kiss could mean a romance killer. A few girls would think the guy is sweet if he kisses them and so if you wait for more than one date before planting a kiss, you may lose them.

Usually, a guy who sees a serious romantic date, and senses a connection with his date would stay away from the first kiss on the date as a gentleman. He would think it’s better to put it off than being rejected.

One tip: Sometimes there is no timing in kissing because it would come up and for me, I think it’s more about the stage you are in the relationship than the timing of when the kiss should come in.

Remember relationships are in levels, there is the friendship stage then you get to the stage where you want to date, and then there is this stage where you want to get things to the next level, so it’s about the stage and not the timing. If you measure it by this, I believe you will get it right.

If you have a guy who comes on strong to you and you feel he’s awesome and he’s pressuring you and you are not ready for that, you don’t have to give in, you don’t have to allow him to determine how fast you go, you can say no and then set boundaries.

It will also reveal his true nature to you. it’s not a matter of how long but make sure his actions and intentions match.

What about you, what do you think? In time past, it could be considered as bad but times are changing and people are beginning to think differently too.


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Author: Relationship Culture

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