One of the vital ingredients of a great relationship, whether it be platonic or romantic, is trust. What is the point of the friendship or relationship anyway if there is no trust? Unfortunately, trust is a virtue that does not come by easily.
It takes time to build. In this article, we will talk about how to build trust in a relationship.
What Is Trust In A Relationship?
Before we delve into talking about building trust in a relationship, let us briefly explore what trust is. Merriam-Webster dictionary defines trust as a firm belief in the character, strength, or truth of something or someone.
For someone to say they trust you means that you have proven yourself time and time again. They are sure of the things they promised and have no second thoughts on whether or not you will deliver.
Trust means your partner or friend believes that you will always remain loyal to them in a relationship or friendship. You will always have their back and look after them as much as you can.
Trust takes time to build and is fragile, and once it is broken, it is hardly ever the same. Think of a crisp note, fresh from the bank’s oven. Now, when you rumple it and try to take it to it’s initial state, do you succeed? That is how the trust process works.
Importance Of Trust In A Relationship
So, why is trust even a big deal? What makes it so important in a relationship? First of all, trust is the assurance of love. When you trust someone, you have this confidence that they will put you first, that they will choose you.
Trust is also vital in eliminating insecurities in relationships. You sleep with two eyes closed. No one is bothered that the other is cheating on them.
There is no need for you to be a secret service agent, monitoring and trying to anticipate your partner’s every move. It gives you the freedom to love and enjoy your relationship. Trust also makes you feel safe in a relationship, which is essential if a relationship will grow.
Now, here are the ways we can build and solidify trust.
1. Be Honest
One of the ways to build and solidify trust is always to speak the truth. If you genuinely care about your relationship, keep away from lying no matter the urge.
There’s nothing more irritating than being in a relationship with a liar. As far as relationships are concerned, there is never a good reason to lie. This is because when you tell one false story, you have to say a bunch more to cover up for it.
Unfortunately, your falsehoods will pile up until you can no longer keep up with them. Lying is one thing that can break trust. It’s hardly a relationship if your partner is constantly second-guessing what you say to see if it’s true.
Your message should always, always be the truth. If you are discovered telling a falsehood, no matter how tiny, your credibility will suffer.
Doing what you say you’ll do is another crucial aspect of how to build trust in your relationship.
You have to keep your word, even when it sounds insignificant. For example, if you tell your spouse you’ll be home by 11 pm after a night out with your friends, you should be home by that time.
These little things count, and they help build trust. You want your partner to know that they can rely on you to accomplish precisely what you say you’ll do—this aids in forming a positive relationship.
Again, any relationship will be ruined by secrets. This doesn’t mean you have to tell your partner everything; it just means you have to keep them up to date on the important stuff.
If you believe it will enrage them, keep in mind that they will be even more enraged if they discover you lied or concealed something. Honesty is always the best policy.
2. Do Not Send Mixed Signals
If you are interested in how to build trust in your relationship, you should learn not to send mixed signals. Please do not make your partner second-guess how important they are to you.
If the relationship means a lot to you, you have to show your partner that you are into them—one hundred percent. Certain behaviors should be avoided if you want to build trust.
The first one is the prima donna of relationship rules. Never flirt with other people, especially in the presence of your partner. Do not get too friendly with their friends and leave them guessing if you still have eyes for them.
Sending mixed signals is a sign that you are not ready to commit to that person entirely. Another way some people send mixed signals is by dilly-dallying in creating time for their partner.
If your partner senses that you are reluctant to make plans for a meetup, they might begin to wonder if you love them as you profess. No matter how busy you are, make time to be with your partner.
This shows them that they matter, and in turn, increases their trust in you.
3. Honor Commitments
Being in a relationship is one of the most significant commitments we will ever make as humans. First, you agree to share yourself with someone else. It can be scary, but it can also be beautiful.
Now, if your relationship will stand the test of time, if you want your partner to trust you without an iota of doubt, you have to honor and respect what you both share.
One way to prove your commitment to your partner is with your body. You cannot say you are committed to someone, and then you cheat on them.
Relationships require exclusivity (except open relationships). So run away from anything that will make you cheat. Staying committed is staying faithful.
Next, always ensure that you fulfill your obligations and promise. If you have a track record of breaking your commitment, it will be hard for your partner to trust you.
If you promise to pick the kids from school by 4 pm, you best do precisely that. When you consistently show your partner how committed you are, they begin to trust you even more.
4. Stick To Your Core Values
No one likes someone who wavers in thoughts, actions, and behavior. One of the ways to get people to trust you is by showing them that you cannot be tossed about by just about anything.
Dare to stand for what you believe. Following the crowd and always being a yes man makes it hard for people to see you as credible.
What are those values you hold dear? What are your convictions? Your ideologies about life, work, and human relations. Does anything go for you? Women most times like men who can take a stand and defend it.
They like assertive men, men that go for what they want. Wavering between opinions and ideologies makes one appear weak and unserious and, not to mention, ‘un-trustworthy.’
5. Take Responsibility For Your Actions
Everyone knows that humans are inherently flawed. There are no perfect men or women. What you get in a relationship are two imperfect people trying to build something beautiful, something perfect.
Due to the imperfection plaguing us right from birth as humans, we are prone to making mistakes. No one is above that. But making mistakes is human, but taking responsibility is heroic, and not everyone can be a hero.
Most people tend to go on the defensive when they are confronted about a wrong they did. Do not be like that. Trading blames and pointing fingers never really achieve much in a relationship.
When your partner confronts you on something you did wrong, analyze what they are saying. If they are right, own up and accept the error and apologize straight away.
It is a significant step on how to build trust in your relationship. This kind of behavior diverts many problems that may arise if the confrontation leads to arguments.
We have seen and heard relationships that ended because of a heated argument that got or almost got physical. Accepting your wrong and offering to make amends is one sign of maturity.
When you have taken responsibility for your actions, you might want to ask your partner for forgiveness and not just that. Also, promise not to repeat the mistake.
When you make this a habit, you will notice that your partner will not only trust you but love you more.
6. Improve Your Communication Skills
Another thing you need to know about building trust in your relationship is that communication is vital. It would be best if you talked about things every day with your partner: the positive, the negative, and even the most personal and frightening things.
The key to keeping your union together is communication. You want to ensure that your spouse is more than just a lover but also a friend.
How will the relationships function when you don’t talk to each other? How will you sleep next to each other and have no idea what transpired in your partner’s life that day?
You must share your life with this person if you want to create trust. This implies you’ll have to talk about the difficult things. Poor communication is a cause of relationship failure.
Being explicit about what you have and have not committed to, as well as what has been agreed upon, is part of good communication.
7. Be Vulnerable
When you have decided to be with someone, to allow one to witness the slow or fast drip of your misery and share your deepest secrets with them, it means tearing down all of your defenses and becoming vulnerable.
This person will see you at your best and worst. Assuming that you were deeply damaged in a previous relationship and are reluctant to trust again, it is necessary to be emotionally open.
Building trust necessitates exposing oneself to the possibility of being damaged. This could include discussing things that frighten you or disclosing features of yourself that you don’t find appealing.
In other words, trust is formed when our partners have the opportunity to disappoint or harm us but do not.
Maybe in your previous relationship, you dealt with a cheating partner, and so when this person you are currently with does not arrive home when they say they will, your mind assumes they are cheating.
Rather than criticizing them, you should sit down with them and explain why you feel this way. It is difficult to open up about your history and let them see your wounds, but it’s what will help you heal. So be vulnerable. Get in touch with your vulnerable side.
8. Show Care And Affection
What is even a relationship without care and affection? This is pretty simple as there is every reason in the world to show respect and love if you genuinely wish to build trust in your relationship.
Unfortunately, most men have been misguided and misinformed on the lessons of care and affection. In a patriarchal world and promotes toxic masculinity, men grow up thinking and believing that it is out of place to show emotions or affection.
Being affectionate is not a feminine thing. It is simply human. Being honest about your feelings is an excellent method to gain someone’s trust. Furthermore, people are more likely to trust you if they know you care.
Building trust can be a pretty simple process. First, please pay attention to what is essential to them, and then act on it.
This sometimes necessitates a small compromise, such as canceling happy hour plans when your partner informs you that they had a difficult day at work and might use a cuddle. This communicates, ‘I hear you, I see you, and you are significant.’ And this is the basis for trust.
9. Be THERE
Being THERE entails a lot of things. You must be present during dates, discussions, and everything your partner might be going through. You don’t always have to say anything, but your demeanor and touch go a long way to communicate your presence.
Be attentive and receptive to your partner’s feelings and experiences, whether conversing or spending time with them. That includes not reading Instagram while speaking to your partner or laughing at tweets when you both are having a conversation.
Put away the mobile, look them in the eye and see them.
If you’re in a long-distance relationship, it can be a bit harder. But all thanks to the internet and social media, you can still be present in your partner’s life. You can still share your spouse’s emotions and experiences over the phone, text, or video.
Pay enough attention to notice how your partner is feeling, and take the time to ask clarifying questions when you’re unclear. If, on the other hand, you feel the need to communicate something significant with your spouse, let them know before you plunge in.
To ensure they are emotionally available, ask, “Is this a good time to talk about this?” Arranging a mutually agreed-upon time to talk allows all parties to be as present as possible.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How To Build Trust In A Relationship After Betrayal
So, the unimaginable happened. Of course, you did not expect it, but then, there you are. You have betrayed the trust your partner has in you.
Either by cheating or abandoning them when they needed you most. But now, you are back to your senses and are looking for a way to gain back their trust. Well, herein lies the truth.
It is hard for someone to forget a betrayal. It is far easier and quicker to lose trust than it is to gain it. So, if you want to win back that trust, you have to be ready to do hard work.
The first thing you need to do is to apologize for whatever unfortunate thing you must have done. This is the first of many steps you would take.
After you are sure that you have been forgiven, the lines of communication must stay open. You and your partner need to talk about what happened, why it happened, and possible ways to prevent it from happening in the future.
The next thing you need to do is to woo your partner all over again. Do you remember all those sweet things you did when you two first kicked off? Start off doing them again.
It will show them that you are remorseful and still cherish what you both share despite your mistake. If she loves her breakfast in bed, let her wake each new day with a different aroma hitting her nostrils.
This will kindle some fire in her even if she is as cold as an unused fireplace.
Do not judge yourself and let her do things alone. You both need to be on the same page about everything.
Since the trust was broken, it is hard to regain it, and one of the ways to get your partner to trust you is always to keep your word.
Lastly, bear in mind that what you did hurt your partner; hence it is not out of place to give them space to process their feelings.
2. How To Build Trust In A Relationship After Lying
A lie is one thing that brings many things to a close. Be it a relationship or friendship, anything constructed on a falsehood is always at the risk of falling apart. It will never be able to stand as long as it is built on lies.
The ninth commandment, from the Christian Bible, forbids lying. Being honest is one giant step on how to build trust with a woman or even a man, for that matter. In the long run, lying will cost you more than it would save you in the short term. But, the truth will eventually come out.
One of the drawbacks of lying is that it may quickly become ingrained in our personalities. Yes! It’s easy to fall into the habit of lying. It’s a trap because if you lie today, you’ll lie again tomorrow, and so on.
Even the most successful liar has trouble remembering things. When you have to confess the truth, you forget everything.
Do not be fooled by “small white falsehoods,” since they will eventually turn into “large black lies.”
To build trust after you must have lied in the past, start telling the truth. Make a conscious effort always to tell the truth consistently.
Tell it like it is, and build trust ultimately in any relationship you find yourself.
The more you tell the truth, the more you convince your partner that things are not as they were before. Slowly they will begin to warm up with you.
3. How To Make A Man Trust You Completely
So, if you are a lady and looking to win your man’s trust ultimately, here are some things that you need to do.
Keep his secrets, secrets.
Please resist the urge to share it with your girlfriends or siblings. What your partner told you in confidence should be taken to the grave.
One other thing to do to win a man’s trust is to shower him with appreciation. Men may not show it or say it, but they do like a decent compliment. Cultivate the habit of hyping your man.
Tell him those qualities that endear him to you, thank him for something he did for you. Lastly, please do not play with his emotions or say hurtful things even during a fight.
Women might be the weaker gender, but sometimes, the words flying out of their mouths can be powerful. Keep your tongue in check, and do not abuse your man. When you do these, you can be sure that you have both your man’s love and trust.
Trust is such an essential aspect of human relationships. We hope you have learned a thing or two about building and solidifying trust in a relationship.
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