Only a few guys know how to approach girls and win their hearts. The rest are either shy, afraid of rejection, or do the approaching poorly that it yields no result.
You have to understand that the approach is one of the things that form the first impression and first impressions are usually hard to change.
So, to ensure you don’t leave a sour aftertaste in her mouth, it is best to learn how to approach girls properly, and this is just what we will discuss in this article.
1. Observe
One of the first things to do before you approach any girl you like is to observe her.
It is unwise and unskillful to see someone and then launch into speaking with them.
You don’t want to mess up your chances. Remember, first impressions are essential.
One of the things you should observe when you see her, is her mood. You can monitor someone’s mood by looking at their face. Is she looking worried? Tense? Annoyed? Be sensitive.
Watch her body language, as this is what would inform your decision to approach or lay low. You will agree that she might tell you off if you approach her in any of her bad moods.
You won’t get the chance to tell her what you have in mind. Next is to observe the people around her. It is usually best to approach a girl when alone than when she is amongst friends.
That way, you are sure you are not interrupting her timeout with the group.
2. Make Sure She Notices You
Before you move to meet her and say hi, here is another box you have to check. Make sure she notices you.
So, you have observed her and have seen that she won’t bite your head off, ensure that she sees you. How do you do this? By making eye contact.
Say you both are at a party, club, or even sitting at a bus station or waiting for a train. All you have to do is ensure that you meet her gaze.
When you do, keep it for a while and then shift your gaze to something else. Do this one more time and hold the gaze a little longer.
That way, you have established your presence, and she is aware that someone like you exists. This is particularly important, so it doesn’t feel like you are a stalker who just showed up out of nowhere
and is trying to start a conversation with her.
3. Always Dress Well
This point cannot be overemphasized. You absolutely have to look good every time you step out of your house for school, work, club, or party.
Dressing shabbily does not validate your manliness. When you look good, you even draw more attention to yourself.
Dressing well will even increase the chances of the girl being willing to hear what you have to say. Don’t wear oversized clothes that hide your features. Women know how to do this; they wear clothes that accentuate their features. Guys should take a cue from them.
Wear a shirt that shows those biceps. Put on clothes that match the occasion and slay in them.
Also, pay attention to your grooming. If you keep beards, trim them and make them look neat and attractive. If you shave yours, shave them completely. Keep your fingers well-trimmed too.
Lastly, ensure that you smell good. Your dressing and fragrance will introduce you even before you open your mouth.
You have to impress her at first before you can even stand a chance with her. Here is a post on “How to impress a girl on a first date romantically“ read on to get the best tips.
4. Actually Approach Her
So, you are looking all peng and sharp. You have also made eye contact and gotten her to notice you.
What is the next thing to do? Approach! It shows indecisiveness if you look at her and then don’t approach. We know you are nervous as hell, and your heart is almost pounding out of your chest, but brave it.
Here is perhaps what no one has told you yet: It is absolutely normal to be nervous if you are going to talk to a woman for the first time.
Just ask yourself this simple question: What is the worst that could happen? She says no or disapproves of your advance. You walk away. Surely that is not the end of the world.
So, take a deep breath, calm your nerves and walk up to where she is. Say hi, say your name and then tell her what’s on your mind.
5. Smile
So, you’re walking towards her with all the intentions and bravado to sweep her off her feet. But one thing is still missing. A smile.
Approaching her without smiling will make you come off as arrogant or mean. Women are very cautious about responding to strangers (well, everyone is anyway).
When you make your way toward her, she tends to stiffen and let up her guards. And this is precisely where your smile comes in handy.
Your smile will disarm her and cause her to let her guard down a bit. Smile has a psychological effect on humans. It makes us see the person smiling in a less threatening way.
Even when you finally start talking to her, let that smile dance on your face. It radiates an easygoing attitude and an optimistic life. Again, a smile makes you look better.
6. Start An Interesting Conversation
When you finally say hi, and she responds, the pressure is suddenly on you to carry on the conversation, to state your business. This is another chance to make an impression.
To help, decide in your heart what you are going to say to her before you approach. It will be fun and not to mention ridiculous if you get to her and you run out of words to say.
Take a look at your surroundings or the event going on and carve out what to say therein. Say you two are at a party, and you feel bored; you can start the conversation with, “Are you as bored as I am?”
If she is alone, then the chances are that she is bored too and will reply. You can now take the conversation from there. Use your environment to initiate a conversation.
If you two meet at the train station or airport, you can comment on the train or plane to get her attention.
7. Project Confidence
If you want to know how to approach girls, you have to up your confidence game.
Walk like you own the world like you are sure of what will happen the next minute. Don’t walk sluggishly or arrogantly.
Let her know that you are approaching her with purpose. Now, while talking to her, look into her eyes. Not maintaining eye contact shows that you are nervous.
Don’t dart your eyes around while speaking with her. While you are looking at her, you must choose your words carefully. This will show that you are in control.
Stuttering is one sign that shows that you are afraid and want to pee in your pants. So, breathe, take it nice and slow and then speak audibly. Don’t lose that voice.
Finally, watch your posture. Dropping your shoulders while talking to her, projects a posture of defeat. Stand straight and lift your head. Act like the man you are.
8. Compliment Her
If you want to know how to approach a girl and win her heart, then you have to be skilled in the art of compliments.
To be frank, to talk to a lady and win her heart entails pressing the right buttons. And if you press the right buttons, she will respond positively.
One of the ways to push those buttons is by simply complimenting her. Girls love attention; they want to be in the spotlight, receiving all the validations available. You can do this by saying sweet and lovely things to her.
Now, don’t just tell her that she is beautiful. Make it sounds better than that. Look at her. What is she putting on? You can compliment her dress, shoe, hairstyle, or even her poise or smile.
When you do this, you create a chance for yourself; you create a safe landing for whatever you want to say. Keep the compliment natural and unique, and you are halfway there.
9. Be Yourself
One of the mistakes some guys make when approaching girls is trying to project what they are not. Some try to mimic their friends they have seen approach a woman before.
While one can learn a thing or two from the technique of others, it is vital to know that everyone is unique, and that should be your selling point.
Avoid painting an image you cannot sustain just because you want to land a girl. Some guys are fond of ‘posing.’ They show off in front of the girl so she can see they have money.
Some even go to the extent of borrowing stuff from others to impress. Dear brothers, if you need money to get her attention, then you’d have to use the money to keep her attention.
It is essential that while you try to woo the girl, you project a real character.
10. Know When To Leave
Now, do note that it is possible for you to seemingly do all of these rights and still miss out. Don’t take it to heart. Hold your head high like a champion and walk away.
When you notice that after doing everything you think should work, and she refuses even to give you her number, then walk away.
In some cases, you find that the lady does not even give you a chance to talk. She will shush you or walk away in a heartbeat. The chances are that she is not in the mood or just not feeling you.
Either way, go your way. It is not always about what you did or didn’t do right.
Some guys make the mistake of wanting to know what went wrong; others sometimes follow the girl about, promising heaven and earth.
While that might be cool in romantic chic flicks, it is pretty irritating in real life. And, of course, it reduces your rep. Take the rejection in stride and move on. The world hasn’t ended yet.
How To Approach A Girl Online
If you want to know how to approach girls online, then here are some of the things you should do:
1. Ensure that your profile is set up correctly, with a nice picture and small details about yourself.
2. It is always good to engage a girl somewhere else before sending her a private message. Take Facebook or Twitter, or Instagram, for example.
You can react and comment on her pictures or posts, so she knows you exist. Think of this as the online version of making eye contact before approaching.
3. Even though a simple ‘hi’ would suffice for a first-time message, you might get a better response if you follow up that ‘hi’ with something else based on what you saw on her timeline.
For example, she posted a picture of a place you’ve visited before. You can say something like, ‘Hi, What’s up? I saw that you visited Singapore.
I hope you enjoyed the place as much as I did?’ Now, this gives her something more to respond to other than just a random ‘hi.’
4. When you two must have talked about ‘Singapore’ a bit, you can introduce yourself.
This will prompt her to do the same.
5. You can compliment her and then tell her what attracted you to her. Remember that you shouldn’t make your compliments sensual as this might be offensive.
6. Engage her in an interesting conversation.
7. Depending on the energy you are getting from her, you can ask for a meet-up if you are both close.
How To Approach A Girl For The First Time
Here are easy tips on how to approach girls for the first time:
1. First of all, pay attention to your dressing. Look good.
2. Walk up to her confidently and maintain eye contact.
3. Smile, then introduce yourself.
4. When she replies to your introduction, slip in one or two compliments. This is vital if you are talking to her for the first time.
Don’t just tell her she is beautiful, be specific. Compliment her dressing, her hairdo, her eyes, or her composure.
5. Find an interesting topic to talk about. Be creative about it; you can bring up an interesting topic out of basically anything.
For example, say you met her at a bar or party, and you are new in town, you can start a conversation by saying, ‘So, I’m kind of new around here, do you know places where I can get good meals?’
If she has been around for a while, she would know one or two places to suggest, and when she does, you can ask if she could take you there sometime. If she is new in town also, you can ask if she would love to tour the new city with you.
How To Approach A Girl By Text
When learning how to approach girls, sometimes, you don’t need to abide by a strict set of rules.
Instead, you need to be creative about how you make your approach. For example, if you are approaching a girl by text, here is how to go about it.
1. It is vital that you introduce yourself before saying any other thing. Your introduction does not have to be an autobiography.
A brief, ‘Hi, I am Jeff, a Medical Doctor from Arizona’ will do.
2. After the introduction, compliment her. You can tell her how gorgeous her display picture looks. This will make her smile, and compliments have a way of making people feel good.
3. Ask open-ended questions. It is essential to know that you should not ask questions that will give you a yes or no reply here.
Ask open-ended questions that will get her to open up more about herself. So she told you earlier that she grew up in Boston; you can ask her how it was growing up there.
4. Learn how to build conversations one on top of another.
So, while telling you about growing up in Boston, she might have mentioned one thing she loved doing there, say she loved cycling and did it a lot in Boston.
After telling you about growing up, you can ask her if she still cycles. In this way, the conversation doesn’t get boring.
How To Approach A Girl In A Group
Even though it is usually better (and not to mention easier) to talk to a girl alone, you can find yourself in a situation where the girl that catches your fancy is in a group.
So do you just give up? Well, you can, if you want to but if you are a go-getter, here is how to approach girls in a group.
1. Make eye contact with the girl you want. Eye contact is you saying, ‘Hi, I am here, see me.’ Remember to not stare for long to avoid creeping her out.
2. Walk over to the group and say hi to everyone, don’t just concentrate on the lady you like.
3. Introduce yourself, and if the group is a cool one, they will introduce themselves too.
4. Join in on the conversation and contribute meaningfully.
5. If you have friends you stepped out with, invite them to the group.
Their job is simple, engage the other ladies in the group while you focus on your girl. You will have to do this if you want to stand a chance to speak with your love interest one on one.
What To Say When Approaching A Girl
There is nothing more tedious than not knowing what to say to a girl when approaching her.
Unfortunately, this is where most guys fail; this is also why most guys chicken out. They don’t know what to say to avoid sounding silly.
So, what are the right things to say when you approach a girl? Here are some of them.
1. First, introduce yourself. You can go, ‘Hi, my name is Ron, it is a pleasure to meet you.’
This will be followed by the lady telling you her name.
2. The second thing you need to say here is why you approached.
It could go like this, ‘So, I saw you and couldn’t pass the chance to say that your dress is gorgeous.’ She will smile and thank you.
3. You can get her to commit further by asking, ‘Can I get to know you over a couple of drinks?’
Best Ways To Approach A Girl In The Gym
Want to know how to approach girls in the gym? Here’s how.
First, you have to realize that some women are uncomfortable being approached in the gym because it looks like you are only there because of their bodies.
So, how do you do it right without coming off as a perv?
1. Don’t stare at her while she is working out, as that can be uncomfortable.
2. Don’t interrupt her; anything you want to say can wait till she’s done.
3. Approach her when she is on her way out.
4. Say hi, introduce yourself and wait for her to do the same.
5. Instead of complimenting her body or dress this time, compliment her dedication to her routine.
6. Ask her if you two can get a drink anytime she is free.
Best Ways To Approach A Girl On Tinder
Here is a simple guide on how to approach girls on Tinder.
1. Check out her picture and bio and see if you can pick anything relatable therein or something that can serve as a conversation starter.
2. Send the first message with her name. You can send in something like, ‘Hi, Jen,Those boots look stunning on you. Where did you get them?
Whatever she replies can be a base to converse further.
3. Ask for her number after a while. You can do it this way. ‘I have enjoyed messaging you. Do you mind if I call you?’
If she doesn’t, she will drop her number, and you two can hit it off.
Best Ways To Approach A Girl At A Bar
If you are the bar type, the chances are that you have seen quite a number of stunning ladies there. So, here is how to approach girls in your favorite bar.
1. Make eye contact to establish your presence.
2. Read her mood to see if she is open to a conversation.
3. Walk up to her and introduce yourself. A simple, ‘Hi, I’m Ken’ will do.
4. Compliment her, something like, ‘Your neckpiece is gorgeous.’
5. Ask if you both can talk briefly while you buy her a drink.
6. Tell her you’d like to see her again and ask for her number.
Best Ways To Approach A Girl At A Party
Here is how to approach girls at a party.
1. Sit and observe her.
2. Make eye contact, so she knows you noticed her and so she can see you too.
3. Walk up to her and say something worth replying to. You can say something like, ‘Enjoying the party?’
If she says yes, you can tell her if you are enjoying it as well. Your response can be,
‘The party is cool, though I am not the partying type. My best friend had to drag me to this one.’
4. Introduce yourself. Say something like, ‘Forgive my manners, my name is Jeff. Nice to meet you.
5. If the party is in college, you can further ask her if she attends the same college as you or just visiting.
The answers she’d give to the question will form other bases for conversations.
6. Add humor to your conversations.
7. When you both are done, tell her you’d like to meet her again., then ask for her number.
Conclusion
Approaching girls seems to be an arduous task for most guys because they, first of all, want to appear perfect. But what you need isn’t perfection.
It is creativity and the ability to read situations properly, after all, the girl is just another human like you. Another thing is the fear of rejection.
Overcome this fear by telling yourself that it is not the end of the world. She might reject your advances, but another will welcome them. Keep approaching.
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