10 Rules Of Dating You Should Follow For A Healthy Relationship

Just as there are life rules that works for some people, you should know that not all rules ensure a successful dating life or journey. You mustn’t neglect these basic rules while you are aware that following them won’t always get you what you want in the dating world.

What you want might be clear, but there is no way to knowing the true intentions of the human heart, you CAN only use these rules to guide you through. You can simply use these rules as pointers to navigate the complexities that come with dating.

The dating rules that a woman should consider can’t be the same dating rules that should be considered by a man because both genders have specific ways of thinking, and you must use rules that can be applicable where necessary. However, there is every possibility that there might be similarities in rules too.

We will take a look at some dating rules that can be adopted by both males and females in the dating world.

From my experience, here are some female dating rules that are important;

 

1.  Know What You Want

Above all the dating rules, I consider this the most important of all the rules because it embodies the primary reason you are in the dating world.

As simple as you might want a loving man, something casual or serious, it’s also important that you have a deep knowledge of what you want, your love languages, knowing your standards and deal breakers, knowing the values and characteristics of your ideal man so that you don’t end up making the wrong choices.

You can go as far as taking notes of the type of things that you want to see in a man but try as much as possible to be realistic with your standards. Leave room for compromisable qualities. Remember that nobody is perfect!

Go in knowing what you want. That way, after the date, you figure out if you want to invest more time with him or not.

 

2.  Be Honest

You never know what the future holds for you with this new man you are about to meet, or you have been dating, so it’s better that you keep it honest from the onset.

There is no reason for you to lie because it only leaves you in an uncomfortable position. Be true about yourself so that you don’t have to be watchful about what you said earlier.

Get into real conversations with men asking them about their lives and telling them about yours too. Being authentic and vulnerable helps to form a better bond when dating.

Also, feel free to talk about what you want from dating and what kind of potential relationship you wish to have. If the man’s desire aligns with yours, it’s a good reason to take things further with him.

There is no need to compromises at this level no matter how difficult it is, if interests don’t align and you end up making the wrong choice, you might hurt yourself in the end.

 

3.  Be Yourself

You shouldn’t pretend to be somebody else. Everyone can’t love you, but you can be loved by the man who admires you for being yourself.

You won’t have to do things to make yourself uncomfortable. Just save yourself the hassle of trying to be someone else. Trust me; you’ll find a man who appreciates you as you are.

 

4.  Consider Red Flags And Deal Breakers

Dealbreakers and red flags are your non-negotiables, and they’re pretty easy to determine. These things would immediately turn you off of a man.

You must give much attention to things on a first date while you are carried away with the thrill that comes with meeting a man for the first time. Pay attention to both the positives and negatives while being conscious of what you want in a man.

Maybe his previous relationship didn’t work out for some reason; you must take note of those things. Then, investigate those red flags to get a better picture of the man in question. Also, listen to your gut instinct.
Here are examples of some deal breakers and red flags:

  • The man has anger issues.
  • He is dating multiple ladies at the same time.
  • He doesn’t take responsibility.
  • He criticizes you always.
  • He is married to someone else.
  • He is obsessed with his ex.
  • He talks ill about his past relationships.

 

5.  Be Patient

As much as we want to have something going on already, it’s good to be patient about it so that we don’t end up on the wrong side.

Be patient, keep engaging, and stay positive. You have to know that your pace might not be similar to the man’s pace, and he might want to take things much slower.

As much as we would want our successful dates to plan a second one, it doesn’t always work out like that.

We have responsibilities as adults, and sometimes life just gets in the way of things, so if you haven’t heard back from that date you had, relax.

Give him time to get back to you. If it’s to work out, it will eventually work out. It’s also good that you take a bold step to reach out to him. This move can be a real game-changer!

 

6.  Pay More Attention To Actions Than Words

It’s so easy to get swept up with sweet and flirty text messages and words when you have a new crush or man in your life.

But while romantic quotes are great to hear, sometimes what’s most important in the early stages of dating is action and follow-through.

Not only is that a good sign they’re someone of their word, but it also shows that they’re interested in you.

It’s easy to say words, but it’s hectic to abide by those words, so you should be vigilant to point out when a man’s word doesn’t match his actions.

A man who wants you will hit you up no matter the circumstances, he would make time to show you that you matter to him.
And if a man’s action doesn’t match what he says? That probably means they’re not a good match.

 

7.  Avoid Talking About Exes On Early Dates

An oldie but a goodie dating rule, for a reason: Talking about past relationships and breakups gets heavy fast, and the first few dates should be light and easy.

Sure, finding out how someone’s last few major relationships ended—and opening up about how yours did, too—is a great way to learn about the person and connect on a deeper level.

But there’s plenty of time for that later, so hold off for the first handful of dates. Coming off too strong with this type of curiosity might not be favourable because not every man wants to reveal this kind of information early on, so let him get comfortable to talk about these things.

If he brings up the ex-conversation early, divert it with something like: “I’d be happy to tell you about that stuff when we get to know each other a little better, but for now, I’m enjoying hearing about XYZ.”

 

8.  Don’t Give Him Everything Right Away

I usually would say, who cares, just go with your feelings, but it’s important not to give a guy everything he wants so soon. I know he’s cute, and you want to get with him as quickly as possible, but take it slow.

It won’t hurt if you put your legs on the breaks for some time, you will eventually get what you want if it’s meant to be. Show him that you respect yourself, and this will make him give him the respect that you deserve.

 

9.  If You Had A Good Date, Let Him Know

It has been my opinion to always express the way you feel irrespective of the situation around you.

You need to understand that as much as he has invested in making you feel good, it’s also necessary that you make him feel good if he has earned it.

We all like to be congratulated when we have done something great! If you had a great date with him and you want to see him again, let him know.

This gesture gives him the idea that he can be more vulnerable when he is around you. You don’t have to wait for him to ask before you get sincere with him. If you like him, tell him right away while keeping your wants and desires at the center of your interaction.

 

10.  Don’t Play Games

Playing games should be considered as not being oneself, which doesn’t come off as a desirable attitude in the long run. It’s great to push aside all those constructed things to do under certain situations.

Forget your “I won’t text back until they text me first” or the “I’ll wait three days to call back” mentalities.

When we start to play games with our potential partners, we risk losing them because we’re not showing them how we feel.

Sure, being vulnerable can feel daunting. But if your date is creating a safe space for you to share your feelings, then feel free to open up! It’ll move your relationship forward, leaps and bounds.

And if their energy makes you feel uncomfortable sharing your truth? Then this could be a red relationship flag.

 

10 Rules That Can Be Applied By Men When Dating.

Also, let’s take a look at 10 rules that can be applied by men when dating. They are;

 

1.  Never Do This

“Don’t email or text to ask a woman out for the first time. The latter are impersonal, and dating is all about getting to know someone personally.

It also sets a poor tone for the relationship’s communication dynamics.” – Erika Martinez, Psy.D. Licensed Psychologist – ( adapted from zoosk.com)

If you can easily avoid asking a woman out for the first time over the phone, it’s better that you avoid it. Some women feel that a man isn’t confident if he does this through the phone.

In situations when you can’t see the lady for a very long time, it’s understandable to ask her out through the means available, like a phone call. You don’t have to be wary about her response, even if she rejects, it’s better that you tried anyways.

 

2.  Confidence

Confidence is a skill that any man can learn. It is important in the art of seduction, and it will get the attention of women around you.

We all want to be around a man who is sure about himself and his abilities, and these cues can be noticed easily by women.

A confident man knows how to handle himself and the people around him. You don’t have to put up a front so that you don’t come off as being rude or inappropriate.

If you aren’t confident, it doesn’t mean that you won’t get the ladies. Some ladies are attracted to shy guys, so being yourself is better than faking what you aren’t.

 

3.  Do Not Tolerate Intolerable Behavior

In our society, women expect to be coddled, pampered, and catered to by men. It’s societal conditioning, and for a lady trapped by this idea, they expect men to tolerate any unpleasant behavior, so they feel free to be bitchy, moody, inconsistent, and rude with no room for apologies.

These are examples of some intolerable behaviors; she doesn’t return phone calls, keeps checking her phone when she is with you, breaks dates at the last minute.

The rule is, call her on her bad behaviour – tell her you don’t want to be treated this way. If she acts rude or unpleasant without apologies, you can cut the date short, giving her reasons for your action.

 

4.  Be Honest

It’s great that you are honest about your intentions from the onset. There is no reason to lead her on if you aren’t interested in her.

Be honest about your feelings and what you want. If she gives in to what you want, then good for you! It doesn’t give in, just keep in mind you don’t want to be the kind of person who makes the world a worse place by hurting people.

You will always find ladies who want what you want, so until then, make sure that you are the best version of yourself.

 

5.  Don’t Play Games

It’s not necessary to act according to some made-up rules if you want to be transparent and honest with the lady. You must interact freely with a woman.

There is no need to leave her messages unattended for days, or there is no need to delay before reaching out to her if you are chanced.

Be transparent with her, and if she is for you, she will surely be free with you without having to play games too.

 

6.  Get Creative With Dates

It’s the societal norm to always have dates of drinks and dinner which is classic. It’s also boring when it becomes a routine for you or the lady in the dating world. It’s healthy at times to try new things.

It’s acceptable to think out of the box when planning your dates. You can do something that aligns with shared interests. It could be a visit to the zoo or an amusement park, a live music show, stand-up comedy.

Be bold with your choices, and you don’t have to enforce your choices if she doesn’t agree with you. Be open to her suggestion if there is a need to consider that.

 

7.  Keep Your Phone Far Away

I don’t mean that you should leave your phone at home when on a date, but you mustn’t allow your phone to be the center of your attention.

Simply getting stuck to using your phone on a date indicates to the other person that they don’t have your full attention.

When you’re with your date, turn your phone on silent and put it away. This way, you are making it clear that the lady in front of you is all that matters to you at that moment.

 

8.  Don’t Overthink Your Approach

The goal is to make her know that you are attracted to her without coming off as too strong or direct. We can say this is the essence of flirting as it makes you communicate your interest indirectly. You don’t need to be about it, and you don’t have to be too direct.

Flirting is not always easy. It is bound to fail when you overthink it or try “pick-up artist” tricks to impress a lady which she might have come across somewhere, rather than relying on your natural charms.
Here are good tips to use when talking to a lady:

  • Imagine you’re communicating with a friend or family member. This will help to take the pressure off, letting you relax and be yourself.
  • Make the effort to make good eye contact and smile. Listen carefully when they speak, and engage with their stories.
  • You can be touchy when interacting but don’t overdo it. A light touch on the shoulder or hand now and again is fine, but more than that might make them uncomfortable.

 

9.  Avoid Talking About Your Ex Or Past Relationships

If she doesn’t ask to know these things, it’s always advisable to leave this out of the conversation early on to avoid awkward moments.

Some ladies don’t care about your past, so it’s not necessary to bring it up if there is no interest in the past.

Even if she brings up the subject on the first date, it’s reasonable for you to suspend the conversation till when you are comfortable talking about it.

 

10.  Look Your Best

“A lot of guys don’t think about how they look before going on dates, even though women pay attention to the little details related to appearance. Make sure you are well-groomed (check for dirty fingernails, freshly apply deodorant, shower).

Second, make sure your clothes match, aren’t wrinkled and look decent on you.” –David Bennett, Dating Coach at The Popular Man It is obvious that on an initial date, first impressions are crucial.

The easiest step in making a good impression is to look your best; so before you head out, take some time perfecting your appearance.

Have a shower, spend a bit of time on your hair and make sure you wear something clean (and preferably freshly ironed).

There’s no specific rule when it comes to first-date outfits, but you should wear something that you find comfortable and that fits the venue or social setting. Remember that you have to be comfortable before you can express all that you are.

Having taken you through some of the rules, in my opinion, that would guide you in dating, you should know that the dating world is open to all age groups from as low as 18 years to older individuals.

There are many reasons why we choose a partner and if the age difference is among your criteria to select a man or woman in your life, there is a rule to help you navigate through that preference.

It’s not mandatory that you stick with a particular age difference, but some individuals prefer to be with older women, or older men, or younger partners, or men/women within their age group.

According to the rule, you divide your age by two and then add seven to calculate the “socially acceptable” minimum age for a partner. For example, if you’re 30, you can date someone as young as 22 while remaining in the realm of “socially acceptable.”
(30 ÷ 2 = 15 + 7 = 22).

Also, according to the calculation, your age minus seven times two (30= 23 * 2 = 46) to define the maximum age of a partner.

Unfortunately, even with societal development, there are still judgemental people when it comes to obvious age differences in dating. There are people whose preference on age differences doesn’t matter, it has worked for some, and it hasn’t worked for some.

“There will always be ups and downs in a relationship, but when there is a significant age gap, this aspect can be amplified.

If you have the awareness, romantic connection, and emotional maturity to navigate the obstacles life throws at you, does it matter how old your partner is?

A lot of peers spoke of exchanging knowledge and/or life experience with their partners — almost an overarching theme of a mentor/mentee relationship.” – Sundayriley

Age Is Just A Number

When I was 23, I began dating a man who was 17 years my senior (40), and I found myself relating to this mentor/mentee dynamic. But the roles switched between us, which helped keep the dynamic exciting.

My partner shared many personal insights with me, which he gained through experiences before we met.

He taught me about life and exposed me to stimulating situations I would not have been able to experience alone (at the time). In return, I inspired him to think outside the box, softened his edges, and appreciated his giving nature.

We traveled together, discussed music, art, and film, and supported each other’s careers, just like I would with a partner my age. We truly celebrated each other for exactly who we were, and that was very special to me.

That being said, one major difficulty of having a large age difference is making sure the morals, values, and life goals of both people are synced.

Do you both want a family? Do you both respect each other’s careers? “Mothering” a partner, regardless of who is older or younger, can manifest into a power struggle later on.

This attitude in a relationship usually contributes to codependency and controlling behaviors (not cute!). These are major no-nos when your goal is to have a healthy relationship.

Regardless of what stage of life you are in, if you and your partner agree on the important things, there is nothing you can’t work through.

Another concerning topic that has come up in my research is people feeling fetishized by their partners. A friend of mine felt her partner was objectifying her due to her young age.

In her words: “I’m not your Lolita to manipulate.” This is an extreme example, but I am grateful she brought it up.

If you ever find yourself in a relationship where you feel made into a sensual object by your partner due to your age, race, gender or sexuality, please identify this as a major red flag and reconsider the future of the relationship.

Every person deserves to be respected and appreciated by their partner, not viewed as an object or prize. It is important to like the person you are dating, not just the idea of them.

 

What Are The Unspoken Rules Of Dating?

As it points out, these are rules that are important and personal to individuals when it comes to dating. These rules aren’t considered to be the general dating rules, but they are very important.

We will take a look at some of these rules that are important in the dating world. They include;

 

1.  Plan For The First Date To Be Short And Sweet

An hour is a good amount of time. That way, if either one of you is not feeling the vibe, the date can come to a natural conclusion.

If you hit it off, you can plan the second date soon or even just keep the first one going!” saritafield

 

2.  Choose First Date Activities Wisely

Unless you are a teenager, movie dates as a first date are a bad idea. The purpose of a first date is to get to know the other person. That’s hard to do when you can’t talk with them for 2 hours of the date.

“Try to split costs. If he buys the tickets to a movie, you buy the popcorn. Be willing to invite someone and pay for the whole date part of the time. This helps with balance, and no one feels like they ‘owe’ the other person for paying.”

 

3.  Curtail Your Expectations

Please don’t assume that the purchase of a drink, meal, or entertainment means you are going to get physical with that person.

Many women like it when a man makes a genuine attempt to know them without the expectations of making out.

  • “Even after you’ve been dating a while, don’t let your relationship become routine. Do new things and take special care to compliment each other. Stay curious about their world, and when you disagree, don’t try to convince them — just listen.”
  • Send a follow-up text after a date. If I don’t get one, I’ll think it didn’t go well.”
  • Quit ‘ghosting’ people!

Be an adult and tell them why you don’t want to be in the relationship anymore. Do NOT break up over text or email. It’s cowardly and disrespectful.”

 

4.  Don’t Mention The Exes Too Much

On a date, while it can be interesting to mention previous relationships and encounters to give the other person a feel of who you are romantically, it is important to know when to stop.

You do not want to give off the vibe that you are still emotionally invested in an older relationship or are setting specific standards for your date. Keep the stories fun, short and also keep an eye out if you are making the other person uncomfortable.

 

5.  Don’t Be All About Your Phone In Front Of A Date

It’s fine if you have to check your phone notifications if you are expecting something very important but don’t let it be a routine. It can come off as being unpleasant.

It can be considered rude in most social situations. Ignoring your date’s concern can ruin a potential relationship.

If you have to attend to your phone, make sure that you excuse yourself to indicate that you are cautious about how he/she feels.

Never keep a conversation hanging or going while you are glued to your screen, it shows that you don’t attach too much importance to the person in front of you.

 

6.  Ask Appropriate Questions

To know another person, you must ask the right questions. Asking the right questions is to enable you to know if you like them or not, but you should be aware that there are levels to the question that you can ask.

You don’t want to cross the line that would make your date uncomfortable.

Getting too personal with your questions might be able to ruin your chances with a lady or guy.

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Author: Relationship Culture

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