Situationships and relationships are very different. A relationship is a romantic partnership between two individuals who have decided to commit to each other.
A situationship is a relationship that is undefined and lacks commitment. But things aren’t as simple as this, and the lines, however, tend to blur in the middle when it comes to a situationship vs a relationship.
When comparing a situatioship vs a relationship, they differ in the ways they view commitment, future plans, clarity, emotional connection, love, and respect. Although some lines tend to cross, a situationship will keep you guessing, while a relationship keeps you grounded.
We have names for different types of relationships and labels these days. However, one that has gained considerable popularity over the years is the ‘situationship’. Moreso, it is often confused with romantic relationships. However, they are pretty different, and we’ll be exploring the differences between a situationship vs a relationship.
1. Commitment
One of the significant differences between a situationship vs a relationship is how they view commitment. Commitment in this context means being dedicated to someone and the love you share with them.
In a relationship, when couples commit, it means they’ve decided to love each other, choose each other, and stick together. They show loyalty, albeit with strings attached. We see this even further amplified when people get on the altar to make vows to be with each other forever.
A situationship, on the other hand, lacks all of this. There is no commitment made when entering a situationship with someone.
In fact, the reason most people enter situationships is that they are not yet ready for a commitment, which isn’t so surprising, because committing is a significant step.
Due to their inability to commit to each other, the relationship status remains undefined. They do everything a couple in a romantic relationship does, minus all the things that deepen emotional bonds, and of course, don’t commit to each other.
So, when comparing a situationship to a relationship, we see how commitment is viewed differently. For a relationship, it is one of the deciding factors that kickstart things. While in a situationship, it’s one of the most avoided factors that leads to an uncommitted relationship in the first place.
You should always do what works for you, but it’s essential to be on the same page with your partner to avoid anyone getting hurt.
2. Future Plans
Let’s discuss future plans in a situationship and relationship. Future plans are essentially as implied, plans made about the future. These plans encompass both individual journeys and couples’ journeys.
Discussing the future isn’t unusual. In a relationship, talking about the near and distant future is helpful for making plans and planning life.
You’ll often find couples making plans about marriage, children, careers, and where they want to live.
However, the opposite is seen in situationships.
Discussing the future is generally discouraged. I recall being with a guy who shied away from any discussion about the future. Looking back, that ‘relationship’ had all the telltale signs of a situationship.
One of which was how he always veered away from any conversations about the future. That’s because he didn’t see our relationship going that far. That’s what being in a situationship is like. The future is usually off-limits because there’s no guarantee you’ll even be seeing each other again after next week.
When it comes to a situationship vs a relationship in regards to making plans about the future, the difference is pretty straightforward.
While you can make plans in a relationship, such as getting married, taking a vacation, going on dates, having kids, and so on, the opposite is the case for a situationship.
The future is usually uncertain, and if you’re lucky, the best plans you make will be about your next rendezvous.
3. Clarity
Let’s talk about clarity in a situationship vs a relationship. Clarity is what helps you understand where a relationship is headed, whether it is going anywhere, and what you want out of that relationship.
As you’ve probably already guessed, getting clarity in a relationship is usually the top priority. This clarity comes in the reassurance of loving and choosing each other. The relationship is defined, allowing growth to happen naturally.
On the other hand, there’s no clarity in a situationship. You’re often left asking, “Where is this going?” or, “Is this going anywhere?”. That’s because situationships can be very confusing. One minute it feels like you’re catching feelings and the next on, you’re living on crumbs.
The lack of clarity in situationships makes it hard to label the union, especially if the lines continue to blur with a real relationship.
That lack of commitment and definition is what leads to a lack of clarity in a situationship. At the same time, the presence of all these factors makes a healthy relationship.
So if you’ve been wondering about the differences between a situationship vs relationship, you’re looking at one. The way clarity is handled is a big sign of which bracket you fall under.
4. Emotional Connection
In relationships, emotional connection is prioritized. The emotional connection serves as the link between the minds of the two partners. Because there’s an emotional connection, that’s why love can grow.
This connection is built over time through conversations, shared moments, and experiences. Without an emotional connection, a relationship would crumble.
That brings me to my next point on a situationship vs a relationship. Situationships lack an emotional connection. The goal of a situationship isn’t to form an emotional connection, but rather a physical one.
The primary focus of situationships is physical intimacy. That’s why people have situationships. I once heard someone call it ‘The relationship without issues.’. By not connecting emotionally, individuals in a situationship can maintain their sense of self-preservation.
While a relationship extends beyond the physical, a situationship is primarily focused on the physical intimacy that can be shared. My friend shared how some dating apps now refer to it as ‘intimacy without commitment.’ But it’s spot on because that’s precisely what it is.
In a relationship, you’ll want to know everything about each other and form a strong bond. However, in a situationship, you’ll want to know as little about each other.
5. Love
What does a situationship vs a relationship look like when it comes to love? Very different, as you can imagine. Love is a deep and complex feeling characterized by care, affection, and attachment to someone.
One of the reasons people enter into relationships is that they are in love with each other, or at least halfway there. Love and affection are a very big deal in the grand scheme of relationships. That love becomes a guiding force in decisions that are made as a couple.
On the other end of the line, everything is pointedly different. In situationships, love is not a determining factor for success. In fact, the absence of love is what makes a situationship thrive. It’s meant to be short-lived and fleeting.
The determining factor is a strong physical attraction. And this physical attraction isn’t nurtured to become love and affection. It starts with an attraction and ends with that attraction.
Usually, when people in situationships start to catch feelings, it ruins the trajectory of things and makes everything complicated. Unless both partners are on the same page, that union is bound to crash. That’s why falling in love and being affectionate are left for the relationships alone.
6. Respect
All healthy relationships thrive on respect. For a relationship to be healthy and fulfilling, there has to be respect. This is also evident in healthy relationships. Partners respect each other, their opinions, boundaries, and thoughts.
This is because they’ve made a commitment to be together, and respect is part of that package. Besides, when you respect your partner, you won’t do anything to hurt them.
In situationships, respect is not a must or a criterion for things to work out. I’m not saying people in situationships will be outright rude to each other, but because respect isn’t a binding factor, there will be little regard for each other’s feelings.
The way partners are careful and thoughtful with each other in a relationship will vary from individuals in a situationship.
With respect to a situationship vs a relationship, it will feel very different. For example, in a relationship, if you go out on a date, one partner will open the door for the other and be extra sweet and nice.
In a situationship, there won’t even be an opportunity to go on a date. So those instances where respect can be shown aren’t given an opportunity to be.
7. Family And Friends
In a situationship vs a relationship comparison, the approach to meeting family and friends is very different. In relationships, meeting each other’s family and friends is a big deal.
It’s a significant milestone that means you’re ready to take things to the next level. It’s getting a glimpse into your partner’s world and seeing how they are with the people who loved and raised them.
In a situationship, meeting each other’s families is a no-go area because it signifies something serious and deep. And as you already know, situationships only scratch the surface level of attraction.
Hence, meetings with families are never even discussed. And in the off chance you do meet each other’s families, you’ll be introduced as friends and nothing more.
So there’s another marked difference between a situationship and a relationship. The way family and friends’ meetings are handled is very different. While in a relationship, partners are eager and excited to meet each other’s families; however, it’s a dreadful affair in a situationship. In fact, the fewer people who know, the better!
8. Exclusivity
Exclusivity is the 21st-century version of going steady. When you’re exclusive, it means you and your partner are only seeing each other and no one else. Exclusivity is a must for healthy relationships.
Before you can even get into a relationship, you have to ensure you and your partner are exclusive. This cements your promise of love, commitment, and loyalty.
A situationship, on the other hand, doesn’t have to be exclusive. Some people request it for the fear of the impact of being with someone who has multiple intimate partners. This is another difference between a situationship vs a relationship.
In a situationship, although exclusivity is advised, it’s not always followed, and there are no repercussions for it either, because no one expects you to be loyal to your situationship.
So, whereas a relationship stands strong on loyalty, a situationship can thrive with or without it. This is why it’s essential to verify the type of relationship you’re entering before doing so. This is so you’re not caught blindsided.
Imagine you’re thinking it’s a genuine relationship where you’ll both be loyal to each other, but your partner thinks it’s a situationship and would rather not be loyal. That will certainly cause problems, so knowing the different relationship types is crucial for a happy and healthy relationship.
9. Conflicts
Let’s talk about conflicts in a situationship vs a relationship. In a relationship, when disputes arise, they are addressed and acknowledged because the goal is to resolve the issue and restore normal dynamics.
The reason conflicts are resolved in a relationship is due to wanting the relationship to work out. That is both partners putting in the extra work to grow the relationship.
The opposite is the case for situationships. In situationships, conflict is usually avoided. In fact, any activity that might seem too emotional or can foster a connection is avoided like the plague. Any conflict is brushed off or left unresolved because there’s no real commitment or emotional investment.
One or both parties may fear rocking the boat since nothing is clearly defined. You may find yourself walking on eggshells or suppressing your feelings to avoid addressing the issues so they don’t escalate.
These are the differences in how conflict is handled in a situationship and a relationship. On one hand, you have a couple trying to work through the issue to restore the dynamics and preserve their love, while another couple avoids all forms of conflict from the outset.
10. Security
Security looks very different in a situationship and relationship. And no, I’m not talking about putting on your security guard uniform, unless you’re into that type of thing! But seriously, security looks different in both instances.
In a relationship, security is received from the love and reassurance you get from your partner. You’re secure in the relationship because you know it’s a serious commitment.
Whereas, in a situationship, you have no security at all. Your situation can end at any time, and you don’t owe each other loyalty either. That’s why you’ll often find people in situationships ending things at the slightest inconvenience.
That’s the difference between situationship a relationship when it comes to security. You have security in a relationship, while you just go with the flow in a situationship.
Difference Between Relationship And Situationship
Relationships and situationships can seem confusing, especially when the lines start to blur. One minute it feels like love, and the next minute, you’re feeling like a booty call.
If you can’t seem to tell the difference between a relationship and a situationship, fret not, I’ve got you covered! One of the significant differences between these unions is how commitment is handled.
A relationship typically has a level of commitment that is clear and defined, while a situationship may lack clear boundaries or expectations.
Another difference is in communication. In relationships, communication is open and honest. It comes easily and involves active listening and a lot of understanding. While in a situationship, communication is mostly vague and inconsistent. You may even go weeks without communicating until the call comes again.
The next difference is the labels. Relationships wear labels proudly. You’ll often hear words like “boyfriend and girlfriend” or “partner,”. This is because relationships thrive on clarity and accountability.
Whereas a situationship lacks any labels. In fact, any form of labels is usually avoided. I once asked a guy, ‘What are we?’ and his answer still haunts me to this day! Those are the type of questions you’ll find yourself asking often in a situationship.
Ultimately, the expectations of a relationship and a situationship are vastly different. In a relationship, expectations about growth, life, career, finances, etc, are often discussed and agreed upon, while in a situationship, expectations may be unclear or unspoken.
Are We Dating Or Just Talking
How can you tell if things are serious with someone you’re seeing? I’ve played the guessing game a couple of times, and let me tell you, it’s a risky one! Taking risks with your heart is never advisable, so I’ll share some tips on how to determine if you’re dating or just talking with a potential partner.
First, consider how often you two converse. Do you talk regularly? Are the conversations fun and chatty? How many days do you spend talking? These are a few of the questions you should ask yourself.
Based on the dynamic with that person, you’ll have your answers. And let me tell you, if you’re communicating regularly and consistently, it may be a sign that you’re dating.
Next, question the quality of your interactions. It’s all in the interactions, honestly. If your interactions are wholesome, meaningful, and engaging, then it may be a sign that you’re dating. If your interactions don’t have that special zing to them, then you’re simply talking,
Physical intimacy is another one to watch for. It’s a bit dicey, as you can be physically intimate without being in a dating relationship, but that doesn’t mean it should be entirely written off.
Generally, if you’re physically intimate regularly, it may be a sign that you’re doing more than just talking.
Finally, check if you two talk about the future. This is a telltale sign of whether you’re dating or just talking. If you’re already making plans for the future or looking forward to the future together, then it’s a sign that you’re in a relationship.
At the end of the day, guesses and intuition can only take you so far. Ask questions and free your thoughts!
How To Tell If It’s Real
Being stuck in the trying to decide whether your relationship or talking stage is real can be very confusing. If everyone came with manuals or we could read like books, it would make a tremendous difference.
However, since that technology doesn’t exist yet, I’ll help you determine whether it’s real. Consider these to know if it’s real:
1. Communication: If your relationship or connection is real, you will have good communication. That means it will be open and honest, and also be supported by active listening.
2. Consistency: If your partner is consistent in their words and actions, it’s a good sign that the relationship is real. They don’t lie to you or say one thing and do another. They are not only transparent with you, but consistent as well.
3. Emotional Intimacy: Emotional intimacy is the bond you share with your partner on a deeper level and how it brings you closer as a couple. It’s a very important form of intimacy to nurture, and if you feel it with your partner, it’s a good sign that the relationship is real.
4. Respect: If you have mutual respect for each other, it’s a good sign that the relationship is real. Respect is necessary for the success of relationships. In fact, situationships rarely care about respect. But relationships uphold respect.
5. Future Plans: You’ll know it’s real when you start making plans for the future. This is because you can see yourselves in each other’s lives for such a long time.
Conclusion
A situationship and a relationship are like two opposing sides of a coin. While a relationship involves commitment, love, an emotional connection, and plans for the future, a situationship typically lacks any of these.
A situationship is more about the moment and physical connection, so there are no ties or strings to it. By paying attention to these signs, you can gain a better understanding of whether you’re in a genuine relationship or just a situation, and whether it’s real or not.
