Intimacy is a necessary part of every romantic relationship. However, for as much focus that is given to the importance of getting intimate with your partner, a greater focus must be given to the attitude or behavior that follows these intimate activities.
In order words, what do you do immediately after enjoying a steamy and passionate round of sensual activity with your partner? This is one question that needs to be asked and answered when discussing healthy relationships.
Chandigarh-based therapist, Dr. Pushkar Gupta, believes partners who swiftly deflect to other activities after getting down with their spouse could have participated in the activity not because they liked or wanted it, but because they felt they owed it to their partners.
“It is very likely that partners who right away indulge in something else after being involved in hot bedroom moments might have performed the activity as a duty and not an act of enjoyment.
While there are several ways to keep up the mood even after the actual activity is over, some partners look for ways to remain busy and thus they end up committing lesser-known mistakes.”
Imagine a scenario where after spending a large amount of time creating a sensuous mood – sending him hot sensual text messages, putting on sensual lingerie, or recreating a seductive bedroom ambiance – you and your partner finally get around to having one of the best intimate nights in your relationship.
The activity was great, the mood was perfect, and the feeling was heavenly. However, as soon as you both reach your point of sensual satisfaction, instead of holding you in a tight embrace and talking about the moment or other intimate conversation, they just turn their back before going into a deep slumber or even worse, they up and leave the room; perhaps to continue a work project.
This is not only disconcerting, but it is also a great turn-off. However, while you might find this scenario unbelieving, it is often common in relationships. In fact, it is one of the grievous mistakes numerous couples commit soon after enjoying an intimate session with their partner.
An attitude as seemingly unharmful as this could very well wipe out all the special efforts they have put into satisfying their bed partner. Even worse, it can change the bedroom atmosphere drastically, spoil all the fun, and set your partner in a gloomy mood. How so?
It creates the idea that you have just been waiting to finish up so you can get on some other ‘more important’ activity. Place yourself in your partner’s shoes and imagine for a moment how you would feel if something similar were to happen to you. It might not be your intention, but that would have been the message ringing in their head.
Thankfully, after tons of research, we have curated a list of 9 mistakes couples make after sleeping together which you must endeavor to avoid at all cost to preserve the affection in your relationship.
Read on to learn about them.
1. Failing To Compliment Your Spouse
Why do most couples fail to compliment their spouse after sleeping with them you might wonder. Perhaps it is a case of natural shyness, perhaps they don’t know the right words to say, or they simply don’t want their partners getting all proud and cocky.
If you are guilty of this, whatever your reasons are, it is unfair to keep your thoughts to yourself after a passionate, intimate moment with your partner; especially one you found extremely enjoyable.
It makes them wonder if you enjoyed it as well or whether their performance was terrible. And while sometimes it is not entirely wrong to wait for your partner to ask if you had a great time. Other times, it is paramount for you to take the initiative to compliment your partner.
Praising them for their performance and even chipping one or two comments about a new trick they introduced which you fancied will not only make them feel good about themselves, it will also open them up to the prospect of getting down with you frequently.
The result is an enhanced marital life and an improved commitment in the relationship. If you are lacking ideas of what to say, you can use any of these compliments for loved ones.
- That was fantastic
- I totally enjoyed it
- You were great today sweetheart
- You were a beast back there!
- I missed that
- You were wonderful
These words ignite the passion in your affair and make your partner anticipate more intimacy with you. If you are in search of more romantic and sensual words I got you cover, I have created a detailed post of the best romantic compliments your partner is dying to hear from you. Feel free to check it out and use those compliments as a sensual ingredient in your relationship.
2. Going To The Washroom Immediately
It is not wrong to visit the washroom after a hot bedroom experience, however rushing in immediately after wrong. You need to put the feelings of your partner into consideration.
Perhaps they are still reveling in the mood and might want to enjoy it for a little while. Getting upright after making love extinguishes that sensual feeling and leaves them thinking that the whole experience meant nothing to you.
So, before washing the mess off your body, take a while to enjoy a warm cuddle with your loved one under the sheets. Catch your breaths while you plant romantic kisses all over them.
3. Making Unnecessary Phone Calls
Another mistake couples must avoid after sleeping together is getting into a formal or informal discussion with colleagues and friends immediately.
Any matter you need to discuss can be had during the day, so why decide to ruin your sensual bliss for a frivolous phone call?
It is best to generally avoid getting right back on your phone after a steamy session. You can always send that text, view those images, reply to that message, or scroll through your social media timeline at a later time.
4. Falling Asleep Immediately
Now, this is one evident mistake in many romantic relationships, especially among male partners. While it is understandable that you might be spent up after exerting your mental and physical energy to please your partner, sleeping right after you attain sensual satisfaction can instantly kill your sensual charm.
Some women have complained that having a partner who sleeps off immediately makes them feel neglected and used.
So, you should reserve some mental energy to enjoy the mood with your partner before you both drift off to sleep while wrapped in each other’s arms. The thought of this alone is alluring, isn’t it?
5. Getting Down To Work
This right here warrants a BIG. FAT. NO!!
It is unfathomable that a man or woman after engaging in a sensational, riveting moment with their lover would decide to return to a work project immediately after. To me, this is an act of disrespect and disregard for your partner’s feelings.
Descending to your study to read a book, complete a work task, or rest all by yourself will not do your relationship any good. If anything, you’d be asking for problems in your relationship.
I know you are asking that question right now – what if I have an urgent work project and a deadline to meet? Well, ever heard of the saying “there is time for everything?”
You can decide to address your work problem anytime else rather than just after making love. And if you think your work would require your immediate attention, then, by all means, take your mind away from building sensual intimacy and give your project all your focus.
6. Sleeping Separately
Depending on the existing bedroom arrangements, some couples sleep in separate rooms. I’m not here to question why two people in love would keep separate rooms, I am only concerned about your attitude after being involved in a sensual romp.
Do you pack your pillow and sheets to enjoy your privacy in the guest room or sitting room, or do you make an exception for that special night and stay warm in bed with your partner?
Apart from the realization that this habit would kill the night’s passion and affect your sensual relations in subsequent nights, logical reasoning should influence your choice of response here.
Meanwhile, even couples who share a room have often displayed a tendency to sleep apart from each other after an enviably intimate session. This is wrong. There’s nothing wrong with benefiting from each other’s comfort after a night’s work.
7. Allowing The Kids Invade Your Sensual Privacy
For couples with kids, you must prevent your kids from disrupting your sensual privacy. Nobody’s doubting a mother’s love for her kids, but bringing them up to sleep in-between you and your man after a sensual romp is not advisable.
What if he wants to enjoy your company alone for that night? What if he’s got some post-sensual tricks planned? You will always have all the time in the world to care for your kids.
Remember the advice outlined above? There is time for everything; you must dedicate time to your spouse as much as you create time for the kids.
8. Immediately Visiting The Kitchen To Eat Something
Without mincing words, it is wrong to move right into the kitchen to look for something to eat immediately after lovemaking.
Not only does this ruin the passion and create the impression that you had food on your mind the entire time, but it also plants an unwanted thought in your partner’s head that you didn’t enjoy the session because you were hungry.
So even if you are tired and hungry, take a moment to appreciate your partner’s presence before dashing into the kitchen to fill up your stomach.
9. Failing To Talk About Their Performance
Before finding a balanced, enjoyable sensual rhythm, a lot of couples have had to engage in numerous, honest conversations with their partners and this should also apply to you if you think you are not getting the satisfaction you crave.
An inability to get sensual satisfaction from their partner falls among the top reasons why people in romantic relationships cheat. However, this mistake can be avoided with simple interpersonal communication.
If you haven’t been enjoying your love-making, speak up and let your partner understand how you feel. Don’t assume they would understand from your demeanor or subtle hints. The conversation could be admittedly awkward but it needs to be had.
I have personally benefitted from this particular advice I’m passing across to you. When I recently started my present relationship, I found it hard to connect with my partner because of our varied positional preferences.
I was scared of opening up about my concerns because I didn’t want them getting hurt or second-guessing/misinterpreting my statements, actions, and motives in the future so I just continued having bad bedroom experiences.
It got to the point where I began to dread love-making and almost considered looking outside the relationship for my sensual satisfaction.
Thankfully, I developed the courage to have the discussion eventually and unexpectedly found them yielding, compassionate and understandable.
Together, we found ways to make our love-making mutually satisfactory and now our relationship is as perfect as possible.
The same can work for you. While I definitely understand that airing sensual dissatisfaction to a spouse is quite sensitive because we don’t want their feelings hurt or egos smashed, it is a necessary discussion to have.
You can’t keep quiet forever and hope that things change for the better on their own. It is best to address the elephant in the room at the proper time and place. Don’t mention it when it shows up in a movie scene or after you have just finished making love together.
If you get your timing and approach right, you can be assured he will respond favorably, and together you can work out the kinks in your relationship.
Conclusion
It should be emphasized that most of these mistakes couples make after sleeping together are absolutely unintentional. However, they need to be weeded out as they possess the potential to affect your partner’s mood and the way they see you.
So if you have been guilty of one or more of these, start changing your ways today using these pointers.
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Impressive information.