9 Best Bedtime Routine For Couples

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Couples need to show each other love and affection at all times. To make their love experience better and worthwhile, they have to incorporate certain activities into their lifestyles.

Creating a bedtime routine is one way they can achieve this. There are numerous bedtime routines for couples, otherwise known as bedtime rituals for couples, which when adopted can spice up the relationship in a long way. But first, what are bedtime routines for couples?


What Are Bedtime Routines For Couples?

These are series of exciting things happy couples do before they go to sleep each night. Such activities usually last between thirty to sixty minutes.

While there are various kinds of bedtime routines, couples are often encouraged to choose the ones that make them feel better about themselves and enhance the love and affection they have for their spouse.
Such activities may involve having a warm bath together, reading a book together, or sharing a pleasant experience they had during the day.


Importance Of Bedtime Routines For Couples

Bedtime routines help couples recognize when it is time to sleep. It functions to relieve stress and anxiety and to enable couples to grow their love for each other. When couples carry out a set of activities — in the same manner — each night before going to bed, the brain would eventually recognize such activities as sleep-inducing methods.

Couples who follow a well-structured bedtime routine often have an alert mindset and carry out their daily tasks without stress. Bedtime routines for couples help create a clear distinction between day and night, relieve the mind of stress, and help couples fall asleep easily.

Nevertheless, trying to fall asleep with your partner at the same time can be fun, relieving, and sometimes frustrating. Sometimes, the circadian rhythms of you and your partner may not be in harmony.

For instance, you may tend to fall asleep by 10:30 p.m., while your partner may want to watch a movie until midnight. This is often annoying as such an act might disturb your sleep.  It could even make you consider having separate bedrooms.

However, you do not have to worry about such problems if you and your partner implement the right bedtime routines. Bedtime routines are nighttime activities couples often look forward to when properly done.

Things happy couples do before they go to sleep

According to a report by the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention in the United States, over fifty million adults have difficulty sleeping at night or staying awake during the day. This indicates that an effective bedtime routine system may be highly beneficial for you and your spouse.

Couples can work together and strengthen love and affection while enhancing their sleeping habits simultaneously. There are a lot of bedtime routine tips available on the internet that couples can utilize. However, they must implement the ones that work for them. Below are nine effective bedtime routines for couples that can uplevel your marriage and take your connection to the next level.


1.   Go To Bed At The Same Time

Bedtime routines for couples

In an interview with Bustle, popular life coach, Kali Rogers, says, “the most effective bedtime routine is putting your phones away, going to bed together, analyzing all of the day’s activities together, and clearing your minds before sleeping.” Rogers believes it is an effective means of ending the day and preparing for the next one.

Once your gadgets are switched off, and you are both in bed, both of you can discuss the day’s events and engage in chit-chats until you finally find sleep. It’s often a wonderful experience.


2.   Spend At Least Thirty Minutes Together Before Falling Asleep

Turn your mobile devices off and put them away. If possible, do not bring them into the bedroom. Do this at least thirty minutes before you and your partner go to bed. “Hang out” together before falling asleep.

Engage in intimate conversations that will make you both feel good about each other. Listen attentively as your partner shares their experience, and brighten up the night with romantic conversations if need be.


3.   Put On A Candle While You Have Beautiful Conversations

This is a wonderful way to appreciate nighttime. Lighting up a candle is an effective ritual that helps couples brighten each other’s worlds. Going to bed at night should be seen as a moment of connection, relief, intimacy, and reflection. Bedtime is the best time to help your partner get in the right frame of mind and get a good night’s rest.

Other mundane activities at night can be done separately, but once it’s time to go to bed, you and your partner must find that sync. Light a sweet-smelling candle and connect with the nightly ambiance. Talk about the good things of life and say positive things to each other.


4.   Make Love To Each Other

According to popular New York-based relationship expert — April Masini — engaging in sensual intercourse with your partner moments before you sleep is an effective means of building a stronger relationship.

Making love with your partner before sleeping can relieve you of stress and put you in the best frame of mind to sleep. “Whether you’re in the mood or not, just do it. You may be glad you did”, says Masini.
Incorporating sensual activities into your bedtime routine is a great way of taking care of your love life.


5.   Don’t Bring Work Into The Bedroom

One great way to relieve yourself of the daily issues at work is to discuss them with your partner. While you can do so before going to bed, it is not a good idea to bring up such issues at bedtime.

To ensure that you and your partner have a wonderful sleeping experience, consider not bringing your unpleasant experiences at work when preparing to sleep. This could cause unnecessary worries that may affect your sleep. Also, couples should avoid responding to emails and text messages from work when they are ready to sleep. Do all of that before bedtime or attend to them the next day.

A study conducted by Time on how work emails affect couples showed that not only does responding to work emails affect employees negatively, such negative effects can also rub on their partners. A great way to eliminate the problem is putting off mobile devices and leaving them out of the bedroom when you are ready to sleep. Additionally, it is important to avoid bringing up conversations about work while in the bedroom.

You probably had an altercation with a colleague at work during the day. Telling your partner about the scenario at bedtime could make you become riled up again, affecting your sleeping pattern. Hence, couples shouldn’t talk about things that may have a negative emotional impact on themselves or their partners when trying to get sleep.


6.   Stick To Each Other’s Schedules

Many couples understand how important it is to go to bed simultaneously with their partners. They know it is extremely comforting to end the day sharing cuddles with their spouses.

Therefore, when couples have different bedtime routines, it could lead to a lack of affection and love for their partners. Sticking to each other’s schedules is the most effective way of curbing this problem.

Although couples can sometimes find a way to show love and affection to each other without sticking to each other’s schedules, it is still a significant marital problem. Always carry out bedtime routines at the same time with your spouse. Many couples had reported that their marriage and love life began to lose intimacy when they started having different bedtime routines.


7.   Anticipate Bedtime Each Day With Teasing Messages

Couples who find bedtime routines very helpful often look forward to having another wonderful nighttime experience with their partner. For most couples, this is the most exciting time of the day.

Some couples prepare for their bedtime routines by letting their partners know that they look forward to it. They send heartwarming text messages to each other or have brief, romantic phone conversations with their partner when they are less busy at work.

Furthermore, there are other things you can do to show your partner that you care, and you cannot wait to have another exciting bedtime experience with them. Making a soothing cup of tea for your partner is one way to show affection and care.

Couples can make a bold statement about how much care they have for their partner by doing little, practical things in the house. That way, your partner will be certain that they are loved and you care about them.

They will always look forward to that time of the day when you would lie by their side, sharing a wonderful bedtime experience. Always have this in mind; there is no such thing as a perfect bedtime routine. The best ones are the ones that work for you and your spouse.

Effective bedtime routines for couples are heavily dependent on your respective personalities. Couples must ensure that they don’t get bored with the bedtime activities they have created with their partner.
“Couples tend to get bored with certain bedtime routines because something done repeatedly becomes drab and uninteresting,” says Noah Van Hochman, a renowned dating expert.

Couples must find a means of keeping their bedtime routine activities fresh and interesting — especially the ones that work for them. Ensure that you and your partner are ready to turn things up a notch when they are beginning to feel mundane.

To keep things fresh and interesting, you and your partner should learn how to incorporate certain oddities at different intervals without necessarily changing your bedtime routine. For example, you could decide to have a dance party with your partner before going to bed or take a stroll around the neighborhood to lighten up each other’s mood.


8.   Give Each Other A Massage

Giving your partner a good massage is a wonderful means of helping them relieve physical stress. Your partner could have had an unpleasant experience at work or become extremely worn-out after doing a strenuous exercise during the day.

They need someone to help them reduce the physical stress, and giving them a slow, effective massage is a perfect way of helping them achieve this.

When you give your partner a good massage, they will most likely forget about everything else and focus on just one thing — your tender hands slowly caressing their body. This usually has a positive psychological effect on their minds, making them feel relaxed and happy. A good massage often provides a calming experience and improves the health of your partner.

After giving your partner a good massage, it becomes easier for them to fall asleep, allowing them to have a wonderful night’s rest and feel rejuvenated when they wake up. Massages can also be a way of creating an intimate connection between you and your spouse. It bonds couples and makes them feel loved.


9.   Never Forget To Say “I Love You” Always

Letting our partners know how we feel about them is extremely important for building a strong relationship. Sometimes, we make the mistake of assuming that our partners have the superhuman ability to discern that we love them.

Hence we don’t see the need always to reassure them that they are loved. However, couples must learn to always remind their spouses about how much they love them. We must never get tired of saying these three magical words that have stood the test of time — “I love you.”

When you tell your partner that you love them, they interpret the different positive meanings in that short sentence. It is also a way of reassuring your partner that you are still passionate about them like ever before. When the last words you say to your partner before they go to bed are “I love you,” it could make them fall asleep with ease and bliss.



Couples should engage in bedtime activities that promote love and intimacy in their relationship and enhance their abilities to fall asleep faster. These bedtime routines for couples — when properly implemented — can help you and your partner become more relaxed and ready to tackle the events of the next day.

Bedtime routines prepare couples for activities during the day and are also an effective way of creating bonds and intimacy between couples. Couples who have implemented effective bedtime routines are often happy individuals who are ready to take on life’s challenges every time the sun goes up.

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Bedtime rituals for couples

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Author: Relationship Culture

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