If you are a lady that fancies monogamy, it can be distressing to see signs he has multiple partners.
These signs may often start as gut feelings, that intuitive voice telling you that the guy coming after you or in a relationship with you is also engaged with other people.
Sometimes the suspicion may start after you find him doing something unpalatable. Whichever the case, this article will throw a lot of light on some behaviors that should alert you and tell you that you might be with a guy with multiple partners.
1. His Phone Is Out Of Bound For You
The invention of smartphones has changed the trajectory of human relationships and reshaped the way we communicate with one another.
Not just that, mobile phones has become an embodiment or an extension of the self. This means that if you get hold of a person’s phone, you have gotten hold of the person in general.
Many people go to great lengths to secure their phones and would not let anyone get near them.
Observe your man. How free is he with you handling his phone? Have you ever tried accessing his phone, and he got into fits of rage when he found out? Why would he hide his phone from you if he is not a detective or a special agent? What national security secret is he trying to hide? If your man’s phone is out of bounds for you, that is one of the signs he has multiple partners.
2. He Cancels On You Last Minute
Here is the thing, a man who is always cancelling on you is showing signs he has multiple partners. We all know that sometimes things happen, and we have to change plans, but if this becomes the norm, something is wrong.
If a man is attracted to you and wants to spend time with you, he will do everything in his power to show up and be with you.
But does it look like you are always the one who is pushing for you two to meet? And when he finally agrees, and you two set a date, he does a rain check last minute? This could be a sign that you are not a priority.
He may have just agreed to go on a date with you if nothing more exciting comes up for him.
3. He Does Not Spend Quality Time With You
Even if quality time is not his primary love language, a man who loves you will try to spend time with you as much as possible.
It is by spending time together that a relationship is built. When you two stay together, you get to talk about yourselves, about things that pertain to your relationship and life.
This is where you gain more insight into your partner’s point of view. But when he is never there, he always has an excuse for going MIA; he never pushes to spend time with you, and there is little or no time for you two to stay together. This will cause the relationship to become stunted.
4. You Have Caught Him Lying
Dishonesty is a common vice in relationships. Partners lie for various reasons. They also tell half-truths, withholding some information from their significant other.
If a man is in two or more connections, he is likely to lie. He cannot escape it. This is because the time needed to please one person often overlaps with the time the other person needs attention.
And since your man is not omnipresent, he’d have to choose one place to stay at the expense of the other. No matter how intelligent double-daters are, there must be slip-ups that will betray their plans.
Maybe he told you he couldn’t come with you to see your parents because he has a business meeting but you saw him at the mall talking with a friend later on. If you have caught him lying, that shows you he is a player.
5. He Has STIs
Having multiple partners will always be problematic. First, your attention will be all over the place, and your health will be at risk.
One of the good things about having one partner is that you are at least sure you won’t infect each other. But when you have been faithful in a relationship and have been making love with the same person, yet infection happens, you need to question your partner.
It can only mean that your partner has infected you with an STI he got elsewhere. This is not just sad; it is also a cruel way to live. Getting an STI through a partner makes the infected partner lose trust in the relationship.
6. He Does Not Show You Off
Men and women are wired differently. Most ladies find it challenging to keep it under tabs when they are in a relationship.
Their family knows, their friends, classmates and schoolmates also know. On the other hand, most men are not as vocal as women would be when they are in a relationship.
But this is not an excuse for your man to hide you. A man who loves you may not make a live video on Tiktok to show the world he is with you, but he will show you off to the people that matter to him.
He will invite you to join him and his guys for a drink at the pub. He will take you home on thanksgiving and Christmas to say hello to his family.
He will not object to you taking pictures of you together and posting them online. But when you see that he is reluctant to show you off, he is against public displays of affection; he won’t even let you post his pictures or show you off to the people who matter to him; that is one of the signs he has multiple partners. He is afraid that others involved might see him and make trouble.
7. He Won’t Take Calls In Your Presence
If you suspect your man has something up his sleeves regarding having multiple partners, you can monitor his phone behaviour.
What does he do when his phone rings? Have you ever heard or seen him answer his phone in your presence? Do you always see him rushing out of the bathroom with a soapy face hurrying to pick up his phone? And when he does, he returns to the bathroom to take the call.
Aren’t you bothered that you never see him take calls with you around? Is he always busying the calls instead or telling the caller, “Let me talk to you later?” When you eventually hear him pick a call in your presence, do you hear well-thought-out conversations or just one filled with one-word replies and sentences like no, yes, later? Have you also noticed that most of the numbers that call him are unsaved? Is his phone always on silent mode? This might be a sign that your man has multiple partners.
8. He Makes Sudden Plans
Okay, so this one is tricky. This is because making sudden plans can be one of the signs he has multiple partners and also a sign that it is just you and he is trying to take the initiative and be romantic.
Sometimes our partners can surprise us and plan a date without our input. That can be cute and romantic. But often, people who have many partners exploit this.
So, how do you spot the difference? The difference is how the said partner has been treating you before announcing the sudden plan.
If he has been pretty consistent with you and suddenly surprises you with a trip to Zanzibar, that is him being romantic.
But if he acts on and off, cancels plans last minute, and then suddenly springs up a plan on you, that is a red flag. It shows he wants to take advantage of the free time he has from the others to be with you.
9. He Dislikes You Visiting Without Prior Notice
Okay, so I am not an advocate of visiting people without informing them but come on. What is wrong with someone passing by their partner’s house and deciding to drop by? There are some concessions one should grant their partner, which visiting anytime you want is one of them.
If you pop in to say hi to your man, he should be happy and not furious. He can make the no information, no visiting law for others, but not for you.
So, if your man is mad that you showed up at his place unannounced, then that suggests that he may have been hiding something from you. And what he is hiding may be the traces of the fact that he has multiple partners.
10. You’ve Not Met Anyone In His Life
Do you have an elusive man? A man who is full of wonders? One that nobody knows? He tells you stories about his hometown but never makes mention of taking you to see there.
You hear him talk with his friends on the phone, but you have never seen them. Whenever you broach the subject, he always waves it off as unnecessary.
But this should worry you because men like to show people that matter to them who their girlfriend is. No man is an island; that means he must have had friends before meeting you.
So, where are they? It is not advisable to enter a relationship with someone you don’t know some of his friends. So, if he never lets you meet his friends, he is undoubtedly hiding something from you.
11. He Accuses You Of Such
So, there is such a thing called projection. When someone projects their insecurities onto others, they are simply trying to dump on the person the characteristics they don’t like about themselves.
It is some kind of self-defense. People will generally want to see bad traits in others than in themselves. Though, people who project do it unknowingly.
But that does not negate the fact that it is a character flaw. In this case, a partner with multiple partners knows his actions are morally wrong.
So, at the slightest error from you, he begins to project. Maybe you two were taking a walk one cool evening and came across an old buddy of yours.
You two hug and show excitement at seeing each other; after a few small talks, you say your goodbyes.
Then you turn to see that your man is furious and when you want to find out why they accuse you of having multiple partners. But this is their guilt and insecurity showing face.
12. He Has Promiscuous Friends
We have all heard the saying, ‘Show me your friend and I will tell you who you are. You must have also heard that birds of a feather flock together.
Therefore, it is hard for someone with promiscuous friends not to be themselves. While there are internal factors to having multiple partners, external forces are there too to increase the chance of people wanting more.
Research conducted at Reichman University revealed that people are more likely to cheat if they continue observing social behaviors that endorse such.
So, if your man is always hanging out with people who feel there is nothing wrong with having multiple partners, his perception will begin to change, slowly.
And if care is not taken, he will try out some of these ideas that have been planted in his head unconsciously through association. The ancients were right; you’ve got to be mindful of the company you keep.
13. He Has A History Of Cheating
A man who makes a mistake and ends up in another woman’s bed can turn a new leaf if he wants to.
But if a man has a history, a long line of evidence of the multiple women he has been with, it is difficult for such a man to maintain just one relationship.
A famous adage is “A Leopard cannot change its spots”, which is valid for someone with a history of having multiple partners.
If it is a one-off thing, that can be understood, but if there is a history, then it would not be easy for such a person to change. So, if the man after you has this history, you may want to soft-pedal.
14. They Keep Late Night
This is mainly problematic if you are married or cohabiting with him. So, since you two moved in together, your man has always come home by 6 pm from work.
On weekends, he steps out to have a beer with his buddies if he does not have a date planned with you. But after a while, you notice that his habits are changing.
He no longer comes back home on weekdays by 6 pm. You expect him then, and he shows up two or three hours later.
Beer with his buddies end by 8 pm on Saturdays and 6 pm on Sundays, but you’ve noticed a change in the routine.
He comes home by 10 pm instead on Saturdays and 8 pm on Sundays. Something is amiss.
If a man suddenly changes his habit this way, it is either something is scaring him away from home, or he is doing something he may not want you to know about. Keeping late nights is one of the signs he has multiple partners.
15. Their Reason For Disappearing On You Does Not Add Up
This is one part that pisses a lot of ladies off about men. First, a man is all over you, giving you all the attention in the world.
It is like no one else in the universe exists, just you. He spends time with you, texts and calls you at intervals during the day, but suddenly, he changes.
He switched from calling you twice a day to not calling at all. He barely replies to your texts. He promises to come to pick you up on a date but does not show up.
It is as though he just switched off, like he left the planet without notice. Then, suddenly, he reappears, telling you how sorry he is for everything.
You ask him why he just vanished like that, and he gives you no tangible reason. Instead, he tries to assuage you with gifts. If you know a man that does this, he is simply showing you signs he has multiple partners.
Signs He Has Multiple Partners
If you are fishing for signs he has multiple partners, here are some of them:
1. They Want To Know Your Schedule
It is often cute for your partner to want to know what you would be up to during the day and week. But someone with multiple partners would be too interested in learning the specific details of your movement during the day. And this is so that they can know how to fit in the times they’d use for seeing someone else.
2. There Are Slip-ups In Their Statement
One way to know that something is wrong in your relationship is when you start noticing g slip-ups. Lies are needed to cover lies; sometimes, the lies get to the point where the person lying can no longer keep up. If your man has multiple partners, they may have difficulty recollecting and maintaining all the lies needed to keep the relationship going.
3. Emotional Unavailability
One of the signs he has multiple partners is that he is slowly becoming unavailable emotionally. You notice that he is no longer as loving as he used to be. The connection between you both has suddenly been severed. This might be a clue that your man has eyes elsewhere.
How To Know If A Guy Has Multiple Girlfriends
Do you want to learn how to know if a guy has multiple girlfriends? Then, see some of the tips below:
1. He Only Wants To Meet On His Time
Have you noticed that your man is never available when you need him? He never agrees to meet you or come over or have you at his place when you want. It always has to be his time. And when you tell him you cannot make it on his own time, he gets furious and says you don’t care about him? This is one way to know a guy that has multiple girlfriends and is trying to manage time with them appropriately.
2. You Notice That He Flirts A Lot
This is not rocket science. A man who has multiple girlfriends never gets tired of getting more. Flirting is in his genes because even when he is out with you, he cannot stop himself from ogling other women.
3. He Is Always Too Tired To Make Love
One of the ways to know that something is amiss in your relationship is when a habit or pattern changes. So, your man who is always enthusiastic about lovemaking suddenly stops initiating it. And what’s worse? When you do, he declines and says he is tired. If this keeps happening for a long time, then he may be getting off elsewhere.
Why Do Guys Want Multiple Partners?
So, why do guys want multiple partners? Guys want multiple partners for many reasons. See some of them below:
1. It Gives Them The Feel Of Being Desired
Men want multiple partners because it gives them the feeling that they are desirable and wanted. This spins from a place of insecurity.
2. It Is A Bragging Right
Unfortunately, some men see women as trophies that need to be collected. And so they go about doing the collection and bragging about it.
When some men sit with their pals and discuss, you hear them talk about women they have been or are currently with so others can revere them. While this is sad, it is why some men have multiple partners.
3. A Taste Of Adventure
Some guys love adventure. They want to know what it feels like to be with multiple people at once. And so they actively seek this by entering a relationship with more than one person.
Conclusion
Now that you have read this piece, signs he has multiple partners, did any of the signs mentioned match the behavior of your man? If it did, what do you need to do in this case? Well, you have two options, confront him or let him go.
But know that whichever option you pick has its consequences. If you engage him, you might discover that your fears are confirmed. If you do not, you may still be dwelling in uncertainty. The ball is in your court.
Strong social connections helps us to navigate our stressors, solve problems and overcome challenges. It’s important to build and maintain the healthy relationships in your life, so take out time to read more and fill up your knowledge bank from the blog.
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