Women often seem like hard nuts to crack, which is why men want to know how to understand women.
This is because while no one, regardless of gender, is simple, women tend to be more complicated to understand. And the very first thing every man should know as it pertains to understanding women is that men and women are different.
Biologically speaking, men and women have different inner workings. It does not just stop at the biological level; the difference is there mentally and otherwise. Keep this in mind before you set out to get pointers on how to understand women from this article.
1. Never Assume; always Ask
This is the first step to knowing how to understand women. Never ever assume. Over time men have made this mistake that makes women roll their eyes and wonder what the man was thinking.
Men have this habit of thinking for others. They believe once they like something, everyone else around them surely must like the same thing.
But this is not reality; this is not true. If you assume things based on your point of view, you will get many things wrong. I know you think Starbucks coffee is the best, but have you stopped to ask yourself if the woman you are getting it for likes it?
It is imperative that you ask a lot of questions if you want to understand women. Ask if they like Starbucks coffee and if they want it. Do not project your point of view onto her.
2. Active Listening
Come on, guys, you really have to do better. Your lady is telling you a story of what happened at work.
She is adding all the details, so you get a vivid picture of what transpired, but you are punching those keys on your keyboard or moving this way and that while playing video games.
And when she gets mad, you wonder why since you were listening. Women do not want you to just listen; you have to listen actively. So how do you do this? Leave those pads and look at her while she tells you the story.
Pay attention to what she is saying. Ask questions about the parts you do not understand and need clarification from. This is how you understand what exactly your lady is trying to say.
3. Observe Body Language
If you have spent considerable time with women as their sibling, father, friend or lover, you must have wondered why women get angry when you obey them. Scenes like this happen when they tell you to leave them alone or go away, and you do.
This gets them mad, and most men are stunned. But this is one of the remarkable things about women. Now, how do you tackle this? How do you rationalize this? If you want to know how to understand women, you have to look beyond what they say sometimes and look at their body language.
What is her body language saying? You can read her mood by simply observing her face and demeanour. Observing her countenance is one of the fastest ways to understand how your partner is feeling.
4. Study About Women
This may sound funny, but if you want to know how to understand women, then you have to study them. Learning never ends and goes beyond sitting in the classroom waiting for a teacher to walk in. You have to make it a duty to educate yourself about women.
You can learn about women by observation. Take a look at your lady; what are some of those things you do that tick her off? Take note of them and quit doing them. What are those things you do, and you have seen that she really likes? Well, keep doing it.
The best way to study is by observation. One other mistake most men make with women is dismissing their struggles. A lot of men are guilty of this. How do you avoid this?
First, listen to your lady and read about other women’s struggles. You can find books, movies and essays that give insight into what it is like to be a woman.
5. Do Her Stuff With Her
Every couple needs to do things together if they are going to bond. It is not enough to communicate; it is also vital that you and your partner do things together.
But the problem is that most men still live under the burden of gender roles and would rather die than go to the kitchen with her or go with her to the Spa to get her facials done. So, how do you understand women?
By taking an interest in what they do. Sometimes, do not insist on hanging out with the boys; stay in with her and watch her romantic chick flick movies, no matter how cheesy you find them.
You could get an idea or two about what your partner likes in a man by listening to her gush over the male lead character.
You can read one of her books with her if she is a book lover. Or you two can talk about it and bounce lessons off each other.
6. Step Into Her Shoes
What is another truth that you need to know if you want to know how to understand women? It is a fact that the reality of men and women is different. Men and women do not have the same worldview and do not see everything the same way.
Since this is the case, what can you do to gain further insights into the inner workings of a woman? First, put yourself in her shoes.
Before you complain and wonder why she cannot get dinner on the table on time, ask yourself if you can do what she does, like working two jobs, coming home late, taking care of the kids and still cooking.
When she complains about feeling feverish, and you think she is a handful, ask yourself how you’d feel if you were carrying another growing human in your body for nine months.
7. Know That They Are Different From Men
Have you ever observed or been in a particular situation, and your partner came along and gave a totally different interpretation of that event?
Her understanding was totally different from how you saw it. In fact, it made you wonder how she came up with that point of view.
Why do you think that happens? Well, it happens because men and women are different. While men mostly look at things from one direction, women sometimes have a nuanced view.
That is why you think your female neighbour is just being kind and warm by always smiling and giving you gifts. But your partner already knows it is a ploy to worm her way into your heart.
When you understand that men and women see things differently, you will no longer get mad when she says or acts in a certain way. Instead, you will know that she is talking or working based on her worldview.
8. Know That Feelings Can Be Fleeting
It is already a no-brainer that women are emotional beings, or rather that women show more emotions than men. Women will quickly raise their voices when angry to voice out their anger.
They may not even think of what they are saying in that vitriol. A torrent of words can flood out of her mouth and hurt you. But then, you must understand that she is just mad and will still snap out of it.
Do not go berserk trying to retaliate. You are not the enemy. She is not the enemy either. She is just angry. The best thing is to let her voice her frustrations and anger. And then let her be for a while.
Know that whatever she is feeling is impermanent. She will get over that feeling, and all that anger will be a thing of the past.
9. Know That Women Don’t Like Competing
How do you feel when you see another man going to great lengths to get your girl’s attention? You see the guy, he is better-looking, more affluent, has a way with words, and suddenly all your insecurities flare up.
That is exactly how your partner feels when she discovers that another girl has your attention instead of her. It hurts her a lot.
That is why you see some women fight others over their man(this is not endorsing the behaviour but telling you why such happens).
You may see another side of your partner if you keep giving her reasons to doubt your commitment to her.
So, when she says she is not comfortable with the way your co-worker leans into you during office photographs or the way she calls you at odd hours, listen to her. You don’t want her to feel like she is competing.
10. Know That Women Will Find It Hard To Trust
You will not really blame women if they show that they find it challenging to trust men.
Men do not particularly have an impeccable history of making women trust them. So, if you want to know how to understand women, then you should realise that women will find it hard to trust you.
This could be very hard when you two are just getting to know each other. Once you are a man, automatically, women will doubt your motives, words and actions.
Until you reach the point where you have proven beyond reasonable doubt that you can be trusted. It can get really frustrating, especially when you have only noble intentions.
But it is what it is. So, do not feel bad when she turns down the invite to your house. It may not be that she does not like you; it could just be that she is yet to trust you enough.
11. Women Want Emotional Connection
If you think you can get the woman without the emotional baggage, then you live in a fairy tale world. The reality is this: women come with many emotions, and you have to resolve to deal with that.
Some women are more emotional than others; you just have to choose your poison and deal with it. Women are also in need of emotional connection.
This need is the reason why most women cannot make love to the same person over and over again without catching feelings.
Men can do this, but women may not be able to do so because, for women, making love requires a certain amount of vulnerability, which always comes from an emotional place.
So, if you have been making love with that particular woman over time when you two are not in a relationship, do not be shocked if she suddenly asks the “So, what are we now?” question.
12. Understand That All Women Are Not The Same
So, yes, I know that the number of women you have been with is more than the number of stars in the universe, but I assure you, that does not change much.
Humans are conundrums. You cannot graduate from the school of learning human behaviour. Every human being is unique.
Little wonder our fingerprints and DNAs are distinct and unique. Men and women react differently to things; they see things differently. And even among women, there are also differences.
One woman may not give a damn if her man stays out late, but another will scream down the whole building if her man does the same.
Different women will react to the same situation differently. So, if you want to know how to understand women, you have to treat each woman differently.
13. Women Want Respect Too
You have probably heard that men like eating respect for lunch and that it is better to show a man respect than love.
But do you know that women want to be respected too? Respect is not just for men; it is for everyone.
Every human being has a yearning to be taken seriously, to be respected, to be seen and heard. But most men think it is just enough to love the woman, give her gifts and then ignore her opinions.
They would instead take advice from their buddies than listen to their partners. And this is wrong; you need to understand that women are humans, too; they are not second-class citizens of the world.
Respect her opinion, consider her suggestions during decision-making, and let her in on your plans. Do not insult or talk to her like a child.
Let her be the one to make any decision that will affect her body and her life. This is how to understand women.
14. Telling A Woman You Need Space Can Be Scary
Women often show vulnerabilities and are sometimes clingy. They would rather you spend time with them than go to watch a football match at a buddy’s house.
They keep wondering why you cannot just see the game at home and with her. They also do not understand it when you tell them you need space.
It scares women; it is almost like hearing that you are breaking up with them. This is one thing you need to know if you want to know how to understand women. They do not want you asking for space.
Yes, men may need space to think and plan; if you do, it is best to reassure your woman that all is well. However, that reassurance will only assuage their fear, not eliminate it.
So, understand this when next you tell her that you need space.
15. Compartmentalisation May Not Be A Woman’s Strong Suit
Compartmentalisation is the ability to separate things into different segments and not allow one segment to run into another.
Men are experts at this. They can go to work and get run through by their boss countless times, yet they come out to brave other challenges at home and in their personal life.
A man can keep his work life separate from his love or family life. But this is a hard nut to crack for women. If one area of their life is terrible, it affects all their engagements.
A woman can get mad that her birthday photoshoot didn’t go well and, as a result, will feel entirely moody for the rest of the day, and nothing you do or say can cheer them up.
You wonder how such an inconsequential thing can ruin her day, but it is not trivial to them, and they cannot be happy until their issue is taken care of.
What Is The Best Way To Understand Women?
Wondering, “what is the best way to understand women?” Communicating appropriately and openly with women is the best way to understand them. Do not make things complicated further by assuming things.
The assumption is one of the things that ruin things in a relationship. When you doubt how your partner feels, it is always best to ask questions.
Ask her how she feels about a particular situation. While it is good to observe body language, it is best to ask her what she wants. And when she tells you what she wants, listen and implement.
Is It Possible To Understand A Girl?
You may wonder, “Is it possible to understand a girl?” Yes, it is possible to understand a girl. The problem with many men is the lack of effort.
Yes, understanding someone is not easy; we do not even understand ourselves fully; how much more another person, another gender?
But what counts ultimately is the effort. What are you doing in a bid to understand your woman? Are you listening to her? Are you studying women?
Do you watch women-centric shows to gain more insight? Do you read about the struggles of women? If you consciously do this, you will understand women. It is hard, but then it is possible.
What Do Men Need To Understand About Women?
So, what do men need to understand about women? Here are some of them
I. Don’t Solve The Problem, Just Listen
This may shock most men, but women do not need you to be Mr Fix-it all the time. They also do not require you to be Mr Know-It-All. It is okay to be clueless and have no idea how to help them out of their problems. Shocking but true.
It is often difficult for men to understand this because they are primarily practical. If there is a problem, let’s fix it. And most men feel inadequate and unworthy when they cannot solve their woman’s issues.
But sometimes what women want is just for you to listen and tell them all will be well. It will even surprise you that when a woman tells you about someone who disrespected her, she does not need you telling her what to do, but for you to simply share in her anger.
She wants you to show that you are pissed someone disrespected your partner, not necessarily offer her solutions on handling the disrespect.
II. Never Miss Complimenting Her
This is in the women’s rule book. So, unless you want world war III, you better compliment her, especially after making strenuous efforts to look beautiful. No excuse is good enough for missing that complimenting part.
III. Women Need Reassurance
No, women don’t know you love them. The “I love you” you said before going to work expires just after you step out of the door. You’ve got to keep reminding her that you do love her. Never stop.
IV. Women Love The Gifts
Women want to be taken care of. And you have to make it a point of duty to do so. It does not matter how wealthy she is; you will unlock her when you gift her, no matter the size of the gifts.
Your gifts are a physical and tangible expression of your thoughts about her.
V. She Wants To be Numero Uno
Women need to know that they have the centre stage in your life. They do not want to be second fiddles. They want to be one and only, the number one. And you need to constantly prove to her that she is number one. Not your job, friends, football club, or career. Her.
Conclusion
Understanding women can be quite the workload, but if you want your relationship to last, it is one inevitable thing that you need to do. If you want to know how to understand women, then you have to make conscious efforts to learn about them.
The next thing you absolutely have to do is listen and pay attention. You have to listen to what your lady says and then pay attention to her body language and demeanour.
No woman wants a man who is insensitive to her moods and feelings. So, you have to put that into consideration while relating to her. Understanding women can be daunting, but it is possible.
Strong social connections helps us to navigate our stressors, solve problems and overcome challenges. It’s important to build and maintain the healthy relationships in your life, so take out time to read more and fill up your knowledge bank from the blog.
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