Relationships are an important part of human life and most people live intending to enter into one at a particular point in their lives.
Of course, part of the reasons people decide to go into relationships is to enjoy its accompanying benefits – affection, love, and a treasured sense of purpose.
While there is no general rule book that decides whether to opt for a short or long-distance relationship, the reality is that a lot of people today are involved in romantic relationships with partners who do not share proximity with them.
Perhaps, you met your partner via the comments section on a social platform, or you both stayed in the same area before work, business or school meant they had to move to a farther location, navigating the paths of a long-distance relationship doesn’t get any easier.
For this reason, you must understand how to keep a long-distance relationship, how to avoid long-distance relationship problems, and how to maintain a long-distance relationship with your boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse.
Are Long-Distance Relationships Easy?
I am going to tell you straight. Long-distance relationships are not totally smooth sailing and may not offer the usual warmth and satisfaction that comes with a geographically closer relationship.
In fact, it could present entirely different prospects especially after some time, when the initial affection or in some cases, infatuation might have lessened.
Many people including your family, friends, and loved ones may warn you against starting a long-distance relationship.
Sure they care about you and don’t want you getting hurt. But if you and your partner know how to keep a long-distance relationship, who’s to say you wouldn’t beat the odds and have a loving relationship that will leave others in awe.
Some people might make an argument over the need to pursue an affair seemingly hanging on the balance when you could easily avoid the risk and stick to someone closer.
However, love is sometimes difficult to explain. And when the heart knows what it wants, it is difficult to say no. Moreover, being involved in a long-distance relationship isn’t all doom and doesn’t necessarily mean the death of romance.
With a positive outlook and expectation, you can go on to have a wonderful relationship that thrives and stands all tests.
It is going to be challenging, and the extra distance will make so many things impossible to achieve.
Things could get tricky, even messy at some point, and you could get lonely and moody sometimes. Other times you might even stop feeling the energy from your partner.
You may wonder if you made the right decision starting a long-distance relationship. And while seeking some long-distance relationship statistics, or long-distance relationship questions to help you in your bid to keep loving your partner, you may come across things that will get you on edge.
However, these are all expected at the initial stages of a long-distance relationship. With time, when you and your partner learn and observe the tips on how to keep a long-distance relationship, you will begin to find delight in even the littlest of things.
You’d begin to appreciate the simplest things like being able to hold your partner’s hand, being able to eat with them at the same table, feel each other’s touch, take a walk together, or smell each other’s hair. Although long-distance relationships might be challenging, they also have their upsides.
If you are just entering into one or a recent development that means you and your partner not having the luxury of seeing each other as frequently, here are 13 tips on how to keep a long-distance relationship and leave the embers of your romantic life burning.
How To Keep A Long Distance Relationship
Knowing how to keep a long-distance relationship is the first and most important step involved in successfully navigating this adventure. Practice and adhere to these tips religiously until they become a natural part of your relationship.
1. Know Each Other’s Schedule
People value their time – a lot – and could get pretty upset when others do not respect it, especially during sensitive periods.
In as much as you are an important part of your partner’s life, you must still learn to show respect for their time by knowing when they are busy and when they are free.
A key step towards this simple act of regard is knowing your partner’s schedule. Know the tiniest details about your partner’s availability.
At what time do they get off from work? At what time could they possibly be involved in important business or work meetings? Do they have a personal time they strictly keep to? When do they retire for the night?
Do not consider a particular issue or event less relevant, rather be conscious of even the smallest detail.
If you both experience a difference in time zones, especially when your partner is in a different country, you might want to make sure you put it into consideration so you don’t go calling them when they have retired for the day, or at their peak hour.
2. Make Communication A Top Priority
Hardly will you find tips teaching you how to keep a long-distance relationship or any type of relationship without communication forming a salient part.
Communication goes a long way in determining the stability and length of your relationship; it sets the tone for your relationship.
A lack of communication in a long-distance relationship is very dangerous as it would lead to a strain in personal relations or trigger certain negative thoughts in one of the parties.
Sooner rather than later, one party ceases to be invested, feelings become cold, forced, and unrequited and what follows next is a love wreck.
Make concerted efforts to update your partner on your life and its happenings, however unimaginative and dull some of the things may seem. Sometimes, it is the little details that matter.
Some people have tried and realized that talking about seemingly trivial issues breeds continuous interaction and helps in smooth conversational flows, and these are paramount relationship sustainers.
To up the game, send each other pictures – sensual, racy photos – stimulating audio voice notes, and short videos from time to time. By putting in this kind of effort, you make the other person feel loved, cherished, and not neglected.
3. Manage Your Expectations By Setting Clear Ground Rules
Trust me, you definitely do not want to go into a long-distance relationship without outlining the dos and don’ts of the affair.
Most relationships, even short-distance ones, hit a block due to one of the partners carrying out a seemingly harmless action which eventually turns out hurtful to the other partner.
This is why you must create time to set a list of activities that would define your relationship. Set reasonable expectations that will serve as boundaries for your relationship.
For instance, is it an open relationship? That is, can a partner seek sensual pleasure from a third party temporarily with the knowledge of the other party? Can a partner go on harmless dates with other parties? What level of loyalty do you owe yourselves? Would it be right to stay out late with a member of the opposite sex?
You both must be committedly open to each other so one party does not eventually feel cheated or exploited. When your relationship is founded on clear ground rules, you are in a better position to avoid the pitfalls that have led to the end of many relationships.
4. Avoid Excessive Communication
While you both want to continually tell yourselves of the events in your lives, there is no need to overcompensate for each other’s absence by engaging in long and unnecessarily lengthy conversations.
This is one of the tips on how to keep a long-distance relationship you must be wary of. You don’t have to talk five or six times a day to keep the sensations burning.
In fact, repetitive discussions over time become boring, and soon one of you will start to feel bugged and worn out by the other’s stickiness.
Yes, consistent communication will help stoke the flames of your affair and keep you in your partner’s thoughts constantly. However, there is a tendency that you may become tiring if you overdo it.
You do not want your partner speaking to you on the loudspeaker, sighing intermittently with the phone chucked to a far end of the sofa. Remember, less is more!
5. Do Things Together
To heighten the thrill in your relationship, you and your partner should do things together without letting the presence of a physical barrier upset you. Technology has enhanced modern communication and activities greatly.
Now, you can watch a movie or even eat together through a video call. You could take a walk outside together, sing to yourselves, go window shopping, play mobile games, or even sneak some flirtatious moves here and there.
For your relationship to be a success, you must learn to loosen any form of strictness or rigidity about you. Learn to flow with the motions, and of course, be spontaneous.
6. Avoid Problematic Situations
It is one thing to set ground rules, it is another to adhere to them. As I mentioned earlier, it is one thing to know the tips on how to keep a long-distance relationship, it is another to practice and adhere to them thoroughly.
Succeeding in a long-distance relationship is all about patience and commitment. Commitment means sticking to whatever rules you and your partner have set in your relationship.
For example, if you had had a previous talk and agreed that late nights out with members of the opposite gender should be avoided, then, you must not be caught out late having fun times with your female colleague or neighbor.
Granted, it might be a friendly outing, you might even think your partner would never find out after all they stay far away. But these things have a way of getting out. How do you think it would appear to your partner if they stumble across pictures of you being all mushy with the opposite gender?
Broken trusts are very hard to fix, and even then the cracks do not paper over. Do not place yourself in tempting situations where you might make a decision that could affect your relationship.
Should you be unsure about the repercussions of your action, discuss it with your partner. If you fail at keeping an established rule, truthfully come clean to your partner.
Do not try to hide your ills to preserve the preexisting conditions of your relationship as it could very well blow over. Talking about trust and honesty…
7. Avoid Playing The Role Of A Detective
If you truly want to know how to keep a long-distance relationship, avoid being sketchy with your partner. One of the major sticking points in many long-distance relationships is not having a sense of what your partner is up to each day.
This is one normal thought you might have to cope with in long-distance relationships. The fear of infidelity and divided affection will naturally hit you. However, you will do well not to let it overwhelm you such that you stay acting suspiciously towards your partner.
If you miss your partner and want to hear their voices, call them. If you get all lonely and want to connect with them, send a romantic text.
We have compiled a list of some insightful and unique I miss you love messages that will make your partner crave you badly as well. We also share lots of romantic messages and ideas on our Instagram page that will give you unique relationship inspiration and more ideas to strengthen the bond in your relationship no matter the distance.
But don’t try to play detective by spying on them, or stalking their activities; trying to vet their group of friends, or second-guessing their actions.
You decided to get on this journey because you trust, respect, and believe in your partner. Unless they have given you a reason to doubt them, stick to the loving, endearing memory you have of them. The more you can relax your mind and soul, the better your mental health would be.
8. Have A Clear Goal And Purpose
The worst thing that can happen in a long-distance relationship is the absence of a sense of direction or purpose. If you currently have not set one, endeavor to do just that.
Setting lucid, achievable goals are important to the growth of what you share with your partner. Your goals could be short or long-term. They must be jointly arrived at to ensure you and your partner are on the same wavelength.
Ask yourselves questions like: What do we want to achieve at the end of the day? What about the future? How long are we going to be apart? These are unavoidable questions that will help you arrive at measurable, achievable goals.
You could make a checklist of your goals, starting from short to long term, and mark the achieved ones as they arrive. This will show you both a clear view of the progress you are making.
The truth is: no party wants to feel slighted or feel that they have wasted a huge chunk of their lives in a regressive affair. Outlining the goals of your relationship as soon as it begins will ensure you are on the right path towards maintaining a wonderful relationship.
9. Make Time To Visit Each Other
Visits are the most anticipated parts of every long-distance relationship. Every part of learning how to keep a long-distance relationship is essential, but making time to visit each other trumps them all.
Try to visit as often as possible, or as often as your budget allows. Some partners set specific time frames for their visits – once each month, once in two months, or once quarterly. This is very important to sustain the feelings of attraction you share for each other.
Visit afford you the chance to try out some long-distance relationship activities like eating at a favorite restaurant, visiting the movies, staying up late into the night while tucked in each other’s warm embrace, or losing yourselves to intense, love-making sessions.
10. Have Each Other’s Back, Even Over The Distance
The fact that you are out of sight doesn’t mean you need to be out of mind as well. You must always be a beacon of support for your partner if they are ever hurt or during their low moments.
It could be work issues, personal projects, or family matters, but whenever your partner opens up to you about needing your help, be willing to provide it to them. When they have difficult decisions to make, be available to push them on.
If you leave them to deal with important issues alone, eventually, they will stop coming to you for help and this doesn’t tell well for your relationship.
When you support your partner, you create room for you to work together as a team. Working together breeds interdependence which is essential for a long-distance relationship.
11. Keep Something Physical That Reminds You Of Them
Of course, technological advancements have resulted in diverse ways couples in long-distance relationships can connect in real-time. Video-conferencing, texting, FaceTime, Skype, and others have made it so easy to stay in constant contact with a loved one.
However, having something physical that reminds you of your partner is altogether a very powerful force. You can keep a piece of clothing around that has the unmistakable smell of your partner.
You could also gift each other pieces of jewelry like rings and necklaces, to serve as a symbol of your commitment. You could display gifts you get from each other – postcards, roses, or a painting – in areas of your home where you can always see them. They will remind you of the presence of your lover all the time.
12. Don’t Hold Back From Enjoying Your Life
Learning and practicing these tips on how to keep a long-distance relationship requires sacrifices, just like the relationship itself does. But you must be careful not to sacrifice more than is needed.
In other words, don’t hold yourself back from living life to the fullest so you don’t end up with regrets over time.
Don’t let your relationship prevent you from cultivating new, meaningful friendships, enjoying your hobbies and interests, or challenging yourself and achieving self-growth.
Maybe, you and your partner have plans for you to join them sometime in the future. Because of this, you might want to relax in your comfort zone or postpone important things in your life.
No! Live life to the full each day. As an extra spice, the more engaged or busy you are, the less likely you are to feel your partner’s absence.
13. Imbibe The Spirit Of Positivity
You need to be constantly injecting positive vibes into the long-distance relationship to keep it progressing and blossoming. Now let me tell you. Even after you’ve fulfilled all the tips mentioned above, you might still feel lonely and incomplete occasionally.
Nothing can be compared with the warmth and happiness that comes with the physical presence of a loved one. The wait might appear long, distressful, and painful but you must always remind yourself of the rewards and benefits that lie in wait.
One good trick to staying positive is to be grateful at all times. Be thankful that you have got someone you love who also loves you in return. Be thankful that you have someone you can talk about the mundane events of your day with. Be thankful you have someone you can share your burden with.
Be thankful for the little things you share, for the memories you are making, for the plans, goals, and ambitions you have, and for each other’s health and safety.
Conclusion
There is no hard and fast rule to sustaining long-distance relationships, but if these tips mentioned are applied, you and your partner can expect to enjoy a strong and perfect union as well as the bliss that comes from proving your doubters wrong
Sharing is caring
