There is a need to know how to handle a man who plays games, especially in these times when a lot of relationships hit rock bottom before it even starts.
Unfortunately, many women have had an experience at some point in their lives where a man played games with them and had no regard for their hearts.
It can be really heartbreaking for a woman open to committing to a relationship to discover that the guy she is falling for is not who he said he is. Worse, he knows what she wants, and the fact that it does not match with what he is currently pursuing is not a concern to him.
He lets the lady carry on as though they are on the same page. She is disappointed when she finally finds out about his games, and he does not care a hoot.
Now, if you are this lady, you can choose to go your own way and cut contact with a guy like this totally.
You can take your time healing among those who genuinely love and care for you and take that time to reaffirm and validate yourself and get back on your feet.
It would be best if you did not let the experience scar you for life but let it become a badge of strength for you.
However, this article is for those who want to get back at their boyfriend or partner who has been playing them. They are women obviously hurting and seething at the audacity of the men they thought loved and cared for them.
It often takes dishing a man what he is serving to bring him to his knees. So, if that sounds like you, keep reading, and you will indeed find a helpful tip or two.
1. Recognize That He Is Playing Games
He only has you fooled for as long as you don’t know that he is playing games. So, if you want to know how to deal with a guy playing games, you first have to recognize that is precisely what he is doing.
Some men are so crafty that they string you along and tell many lies to cover their misdeeds that you never have a clue what they are doing the whole time. Thankfully, these kinds of men are only a fraction of the entire male population and not the totality.
How do you know he is playing games? First, you need to look at the pattern of his communication with you. Has he been failing to meet your reasonable expectations and then blaming you for them afterwards?
Like when he does not call or text to check up on you for days and then comes back around to make it seem like the communication issue is from your own end. That is a pure brand of narcissism flashing in daylight, and it is a sign he is playing you.
If he only speaks to you at a specific time of the day (especially at night, when he is relaxing and is likely looking for a quick lay), if he does not care much about your emotional needs and is quite satisfied with only the physical side of your relationship, he is playing you.
A man who genuinely cares for you would be concerned about everything that involves you, not just the parts that appeal to his senses and needs.
Even if he is pretending to care to keep you mellow and open to his demands, the fake is never as good as the original. When a man truly cares for you, he will express it in every way he can, and you feel it right up to your toes.
In addition, a man who cares for you would want to ensure that you are as besotted with him as he is with you. So, he would not want any issues with you and would make sure that you iron out any problems you may have between you.
But a man who is playing games would only smooth things over so he can get to what he really came for quickly and enjoy it for as long as it takes until you figure out his games.
2. Decide If You Want To Stay Or Leave
Even though the logical assumption is that every woman would want to be treated right and cared for, not everybody is in for that.
Some women want to play games too or don’t care if their man is playing games, just as long as they are getting what they want too. So, if you dig the games he is playing, you do not really need to know how to deal with a guy playing games.
When you find out what he is doing, you need to ask yourself a few important questions. One, are you okay with the situation? Do you want out, or do you want to stay? If you want to stay back, what are your reasons for your decision? Finally, does your decision potentially open you up to hurt and betrayal afterwards?
When you have answered these questions honestly, you can decide clearly enough what you want to do. But if you really care about this man whom you have discovered does not take you seriously, it is best to bow out before you are too deep to leave unscathed.
You may be tempted to stay back to get back at him, especially if you genuinely cared for him. However, it is not worth it. Instead, you should leave early enough and move on with your life.
3. Let Him Have His Way For A While
Sometimes, the best way to handle the situation is to let your man have a field day thinking that he is playing you the whole while.
Let him have his way for some time and allow him the free rein to do what he wants. This is one of the most effective tips on how to deal with a man playing games.
It is effective because, sadly, many players are selfish and cruel and need to ensure that their actions hurt or at least affect someone.
Otherwise, all the fun of the games is lost. So, when you totally ignore him and turn a blind eye to what he is doing and focus on yourself and your work instead, it will eventually give him a pause.
He would wonder why he is wearing himself out playing with a woman who does not look like she is being toyed with.
He may come back and try to poke at your defences to understand why you are unresponsive. You need to be strong and hold fast at this stage. Don’t give him the slightest inclination that his actions affect you.
If you do and let your emotions slip, it will alert him to the fact that you are not totally immune to what he is doing. It will encourage him to hammer at your defences until they crumble to the floor.
This whole scenario sounds like a lot of unnecessary drama, but that is the sad reality of narcissism. It turns people into monsters that subconsciously seek to hurt others for their own amusement, with no regard for the person’s feelings and emotions.
4. Start Controlling The Narrative
You can also opt to take the bull by the horns; rather than let him write this tragic tale to the end, write it yourself.
Take hold of the situation instead and start controlling the narrative. If he wants to play games, then start manning the chessboard yourself.
Even if he is a player, at least you get to dictate how the game goes. That is how to deal with a guy playing games.
For instance, if he acts a certain way you don’t like and find suspicious, such as keeping late nights and frequenting clubs.
Outrightly call him out on it, and tell him to get his life together. You also have to educate him on how to treat you. That is what you do whenever you experience discomfort with him; tell him clearly how and why you feel that way.
Remember to take charge of everything and decide there and then to permanently take control of the situation, no matter what happens. You have to stay on top of your game to keep from being relegated to the background.
5. Create Boundaries
If you decide not to put up with his games anymore and leave him, there is a likelihood he will come running after you to get you back.
Players don’t like to be dumped, at least not until they have emotionally drained you so much that you walk away from the relationship with your head hung in shame and self-derision from all you had to swallow to stick with him.
When you leave that relationship, make sure you are not alone but in the company of family and trusted friends. These ones would be your bedrock during this period and would ward off the sharks for you until you can stand back up on your two feet.
When he does come around to try to woo you back to his camp, do not hesitate to hide behind your family if you don’t feel up to it. Let your family defend you and protect your honour.
Creating boundaries not only helps to strengthen your will against his wiles, but it also accelerates your healing process. It is where you totally cut off all contact and discontinue all forms of communication with him.
Block his number and his socials, anything, to ensure that he does not pop up in your space anymore. That is how to deal with a guy playing games.
6. Arrange To Meet In Public Places
After you have drawn the line and created the necessary boundaries between you and the guy who is trying to play games with you, ensure that you take further steps to protect those boundaries. Do not allow him to violate it for any reason.
If he decides he wants to meet and talk, even if he says he wants to make amends insist on meeting in a public place.
Do not fall for an invitation to meet in a private place like his apartment, or an environment where he is most comfortable, and you are not. You do not want him to have the upper hand over you; it would be a miracle if he does not exploit that advantage.
If you meet in a private place, your defences will automatically fade away, and you will subconsciously let your guard down. Keep in mind that this is a man you previously had romantic designs on, so do not make the mistake of thinking that the flame cannot be reignited.
In addition to always meeting in public places, ensure that you pick the place out yourself, preferably somewhere you are familiar with.
It will be an added advantage if he does not know the place, so you remain in charge of the situation throughout the meeting.
If he has plans to manipulate you and get you back under his wing, you will end up foiling his plans again and again.
7. Give Him A Taste Of His Own Medicine
This is basically when you start playing the player. One thing is for sure; players do not like being played themselves. They do not like being a pawn in their own game; they only like being predators.
So, when you play them too, it is like taking the ground off their feet. This is how you handle a guy playing games; you give him a taste of his own medicine.
If he is a narcissist and a player, one way to get back at him is to withdraw emotionally and start living on your terms right where he can see you do it.
Desist from caring what he does, or pretend to if you genuinely care. Go out with other people and have fun, and it is a bonus if you have platonic male friends who can help you with this.
The effect you would be looking to get from him is frantic confusion. You turn the tables on him, and he finds that he does not have an emotional hold over you.
It is his weapon to keep you thirsty for his presence and attention, even though he treats you wrong. When you do this, you practically force him to wear your shoes so he can feel how it pinches.
8. Get Close To The Other Women
If you want to fight dirty and get petty, hit back with as much as you got. Get close to these other women he’s equally lying to, and try to see what he’s about with them.
Don’t be too surprised to find out that these other women don’t know you exist either, and you might have just won yourself some allies.
A pro tip on dealing with a guy playing games is to get right into his playing field and flip the game on him. Contact these other women he’s also playing with and let them know of your existence and what he’s doing to all of you.
Who knows, they might want to take it to the next level and do him dirty too, and then the lot of you can gang up and give him a taste of his medicine or publicly confront him.
If there is anything a player hates more than being caught unawares, it is being seen in that position in the public where their character becomes an object of public scrutiny and questioning.
9. Tell Him You Know About His Games
If you are big on telling it as it is, then by all means, go confrontational. Players don’t like being called out on their behaviour, even when doing it openly and carelessly.
Because of this, confronting him about his attitude may work in your favour. That’s how you deal with a guy playing games.
However, if you choose to take this route, you need to be conscious of a few facts so that you can tread cautiously. Firstly, when you notice his behaviour, don’t hint at the fact that you know what he’s about, even if his games are staring you in the face.
Shake it off and pretend that you are clueless. Do not ever leave hints that you are boiling until you finally explode on him. If you do so, he’ll sense the danger and prepare himself accordingly.
You see, players are often narcissistic, if not all the time. They’d make you feel guilty and at fault for their wrongdoing.
They’d manipulate you and warp your thinking until you’re confused about who’s at fault. You don’t want to give him that edge over you.
When you finally confront him, you want to have your wits about you and stay alert. Let him present his case and bring the facts and the answers you demand. If he tries to veer off course in explaining himself to you, cut him short and restate your questions.
These moments are critical because if you give him a chance, he can start to appeal to your emotions and sentimental side, and when he finally gets a foothold, he’ll turn you against yourself. This is also why the element of surprise is your best friend in this case.
You need to catch him unawares so that he has nothing to say off the top of his head, and he’ll stew in the guilt and humiliation you heap upon his head by calling him out on his behaviour.
10. Turn Him Down
Want to know how to deal with a guy playing games? Turn him down flat out. Refuse to be a part of his games or be drawn into his shenanigans. Turn your back on him without a backward glance.
We understand that this may be hard, especially if you walked into the relationship looking for love and romantic security and genuinely care for this guy who is now playing you.
However, you need to prioritize your mental and emotional health and put yourself first. If a guy is content with playing you, there is no louder way to inform you that he doesn’t care about you. It’s hard, but it’s a step you have to take.
This is when you need your family and friends around you so that they can help you heal and watch out for you, so you don’t do something like call him or resolve to go back to him. Surprisingly, men who are players can get possessive and persistent.
If they notice that you’re slipping through their fingers, he may come after you and try to weaken your defences so that you get back with him. But with your family around, you have the backbone you need to refuse him.
The fact that you chose to walk away instead of lashing out makes you the bigger, more mature person. Even though there are other creative ways to handle a guy who plays games, retaliation is never the best option.
It’s not easy to resist the urge to make him drink his own medicine, but doing that would only make you seem to be cut from the same cloth as him, and you don’t want that.
How To React To A Guy Who Plays Games
No matter what route you finally settle with and how you choose to react to a guy who plays games, your reaction is of the utmost importance.
After you discover that he’s disrespecting you, there has to be a response that shows that you’re not to be trifled with.
Make a lasting impression that he would not forget in a hurry, and which would make him think twice about playing women anymore.
The best way to react to such a guy is to confront him immediately and bring him face to face with the consequences of his actions. Then, he will take a step back and lay low for a while. That’s how to deal with a guy playing games.
How Do You Deal With A Guy Who Is Playing With You?
In dealing with a guy playing you, you have many options to choose from, from mild to downright playing dirty.
You can quietly leave him and continue with your life, but if you decide to shake things up, here are a few tips.
You can decide to play games with him too. Take the wheel from his hands, gain control and give him a taste of his medicine. Turn him down at every turn, and spin him stories that don’t add up whenever he demands or asks for an explanation.
When you see that he’s not serious with you and only wants to play games, flip the tables on him and watch the drama unfold.
How Do You Outsmart A Player In His Own Games?
The way to outsmart a player in his games is to play it even better. But first, you must create an environment that puts you at an advantage and keeps all the cards in your hands.
Create boundaries and draw lines if you must to keep him in check and prevent close contact that could melt your resolve and make you return to the scraps he used to feed you.
Only agree to meet up in places where you decide, and when you start to talk, make sure you are always at the top of the conversation so that you can block out any negativity he might attempt to give off to make you putty in his hands again.
If he treats you like you don’t have any value, he deserves to receive what he dishes back in kind.
Conclusion
In the grand scheme of things, a man who plays games with a woman has a lot of emotional baggage you don’t want to get involved with.
He may have a complex for all its worth or is probably dealing with deep insecurities that prompt him to hurt women to make himself feel good.
A person like this gets an adrenaline rush when he can fool several women at once and have them care for him without knowing that he’s playing them.
In essence, it’s for the very best that he showed his true colours. But, at least it helped you sift the chaff from the wheat, and you know the kind of man you don’t want to associate yourself with.
This article, “How to Handle a Man who Plays Games – 10 Ways”, helps you come to terms with what to do with a cheating, lying partner.
When you initially find out that you’re dating a player, it’s pretty hard to shake off, and you might not know how to process it or what to do afterwards.
This article is particularly tailored for that purpose, to tell you all you need to do to get out of that situation or at least hit back with all you’ve got.
Strong social connections helps us to navigate our stressors, solve problems and overcome challenges. It’s important to build and maintain the healthy relationships in your life, so take out time to read more and fill up your knowledge bank from the blog.
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