“When a man is trying to win the heart of a woman he studies her. He learns her likes, dislikes habits, and hobbies. but after he wins a heart and marries her he often stops learning about her if the amount he studied her before marriage was equal to a high school degree he should continue to learn about her until he gains a college degree, a master’s degree, and ultimately a doctorate degree. . it is a lifelong journey that draws his heart ever closer to hers”.
The above quote was stated in the movie fireproof.
Having memories of how it all started how the calls kept coming in, the anxiousness to see each other, times when you wished time will be kind enough to be a little slower so you could have more time with your partner, moments you wish they could just last forever. it’s sad, feel so bad when you think about these things and they are but memories you can’t seem to bring back.
You begin to ask yourself some questions like where did both of you go wrong you? you are wondering how come the undying love disappeared into thin air. Aren’t you attractive anymore? Sometimes you wish you are a magician who could just turn things around with a finger snap.
It’s normal to feel this way it’s normal to ask yourself these questions but it’s best to channel all your energy to the real issue at hand which is How Do You Get The Love Back. How to rekindle the love with your partner.
Truth is, it’s not going to be easy, it will involve a lot of work and require a lot of patience from you but the good news is that it is possible, it is doable, it is achievable to get your partner to fall back in love with you.
With the right mood, attitude set, and put in place; your relationship will slowly begin to regain its lost glory it will begin to blossom once again. With the right effort and energy, the Love Is Here to Stay for a lifetime.
The tips I’ll be sharing on here is practical and helpful not just for relationship or rather dating couples but also applicable to married couples whichever one you are in right now but if you are feeling the communication gap is further expanding, the romance has lost its flavor, both of you now see each other as roommates, there’s always quarrel no resolution ground.
This is someone you have always been crazy about and involved with romantically, you feel you are just there existing for the sake of wanting to belong to someone because as it is you do not feel the passion and chemistry anymore there are so many factors to blame when one finds his or herself in this love life situation, might be betrayal, infidelity, poor communication and so on.
One doesn’t just wake up to stop loving someone, the action must have been prompted from some psychological factors for example while counseling Jasmine and Frank.
Jasmine confided in me that since Frank betrayed her trust like a year ago she’s still finding it difficult to come to love him the way she used to and she feels it’s the main reason why the love is somewhat gone in their marriage. Frank also opened up he said he knows he’s the cause and honestly he has been trying to make it work. some of what I told Jasmine and Frank is contained in the tips I’ll be sharing with you here.
1. Identify The Reason
The first step to any conflict resolution and resolving any problem as a first be able to point out find out the reason it started what caused it. What led to it. only then will you be able to fix whatever the issue is.
In this case now just like I mentioned earlier, you have to first identify the reasons why you are feeling less loved in your relationship without it you won’t be able to know how to start the process of amending whatever it is that was broken, when you do.
for example, let’s assume it’s stress from work or rather a promotion at work for your partner this promotion causes your partner to stay out late coming back late I’ve counseled couples who were in this situation.
The man complained that his wife does not have time for him as she’s always so busy with work and doesn’t look at him. This caused the affection and love to start dropping because he got tired of complaining.
So hey! To bring back the love you have in your relationship, and restore it To the way it was and even better. identify the reason for the space, failure to identify this will lead us to the second point which is
When you do not communicate constructively, making your reasons clear a breach is created. I have always emphasized in my previous posts, communication is the bedrock of every relationship.
If you must have a good relationship, you must communicate with your partner, have the difficult conversations, talk about things early when you notice them, instead of leaving it to Further get bigger and it will be hard to fill the hole, say it when it happens, when you feel uncomfortable.
After identifying the reason or in some cases failure to identify the reasons talk about it.
C’mon This is your partner, the one you felt all the butterflies and can’t do without. Have a real and serious conversation with your partner. Both of you clearly are aware that something is off in your relationship, so I know your partner will oblige when you suggest talking about it.
While talking it out, say the way you feel it whether bad or good both of you need to bear it all out and not hold anything back. With that, both of you will know where to start the process of healing and mending what is broken.
If you are a married couple, if it’s difficult for you to call out your partner, go to someone you know your partner respects and tell the person about the problem the person may counsel you on how to go about it or better still talk to the both of you together. Trust me! it works.
Don’t have a bad attitude, mindset towards the issue you are facing in your relationship. have a positive mindset about it, determine that whatever happens everything will be sorted out, and do what is expected of you. don’t hold grudges, let out all the pain and hurt you feel Inside So the healing and the love can grow inside.
Our mind is a very powerful tool that is capable of destroying everything so it is important while you are in this journey of bringing the Love Lost back into your relationship.
You should put up a positive mind and believe that everything will fall into place. The love will be renewed like old wine and both of you will be fine .ok!
4. Let The Romance Flow In The Bedroom
One of the first instances every couple who has walked through the door into my office seeking counsel to similar situations is owning up to the fact that the intimacy both of them share is no more. Couples who can’t be intimate with each other are practically living like roommates or siblings, and that is a very bad sign that things have really gone from bad to worse and screaming for help.
So yes if you really want and desire to get the romance, the intimacy, the love, and your relationship to bounce back then spice up the bedroom moments with your partner. When was the last time you lit a candle in the room with rose petals on the bed and on the floor with soft music playing in the background to set the mood?
be spontaneous about it, go the extra mile to be romantic don’t hold it, and let it flow.
5. Be Appreciative
Acknowledge the efforts being put up to salvage the relationship. appreciate the efforts the little gestures your partner demonstrates towards the growth improvement and the health of your relationship. Show and tell him that you want the relationship to work. be approachable and make it easy to let them know you appreciate the things they are doing.
6. Forgive And Let Go
There’s really no need of holding on to the past, hurt, or whatever part that caused the withdrawal and space at first. It is time to forgive and let go. I know you might not forget easily but try to make yourself forgive and let go. It would do your relationship a lot of good and not just that, you are helping yourself to allow the new and changed love to take its full course in your relationship.
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