How do you know if your partner is taking you for granted? This is one question that continues to boggle the mind of many women.
If you have at any point wondered or tried to put together some signs you’re being taken for granted, know that you are not alone.
Everybody, including women, wants to feel respected and appreciated. And when it involves romantic relationships, mutual respect is not negotiable as it is the bedrock that defines stable relationships.
That means, both parties have to be fully invested in not know showing love to each other, but also treating each other with a respectable degree of honor.
If you are searching for signs you’re being taken for granted, it is only because you are starting to feel neglected or underappreciated. Lovers are supposed to be there for their partners even they hit their lowest ebb. They are supposed to remain patient and understanding for as long as they care for the other person.
So then, how do you know someone is taking advantage of you in a relationship? And, how do you deal with a partner who takes you for granted?
For starters, there are hundreds of signs you’re being taken for granted. Some of them are obvious and unmistakable, while others are subtle. They appear in hints and sometimes are almost invisible that you find yourself questioning your normalcy especially if you are really in love with them.
In fact, some women who are being disrespected might be so infatuated about the relationship that they happily let their partner’s distasteful actions slide. This is ridiculous because it means you are beginning to lose your self-esteem and are settling for less.
If you ever think the feelings and respect in your relationship might be one-sided or unnatural, this is the right time to get up and take the bull by the horn.
I have put together 15 undisputable signs you’re being taken for granted to help you gain clarity in your endeavor. So, without wasting time, let’s get to number one!
1. They Treat You With Disrespect
Do you feel disrespected in the relationship? There are simply no two ways about this. It is either he treats you with respect or he doesn’t. So, while trying to answer this question, do not attempt to cut him any slack by disregarding some details or actions of his as irrelevant.
As I have mentioned umpteen times, mutual respect is crucial to the survival of any relationship. Even if the age difference between a couple is wide, the older partner must understand that he or she is accountable to their partner in terms of displaying respect regardless of their age.
Some things might appear trivial, but in reality, are immeasurable. For example, acknowledging your partner’s acts of kindness towards you. Even if the deed seems little, a simple ‘thank you’ can melt their act and make them feel special.
What about the role you play with decisions about your future together have to be made? Does he involve you in plans or go ahead to take actions without consulting you for your opinion? This is unarguably disrespecting, and if this is present in your relationship, it is one of the signs you’re being taken for granted.
2. They No Longer Reply Your Texts On Time
Is your partner famed for replying to your texts or calls quickly but suddenly takes ages to respond? According to dating coach and matchmaker, Anna Morgenstern, this is one of the signs you’re being taken for granted.
No matter how busy a person is, if they care about you and your feelings, they will not disregard your efforts to communicate with them. They will not ignore you for hours and give laughable reasons as excuses.
When you are unable to communicate with your partner, sending a simple text that reads “Hey babe, I’m sorry I can’t call now but I’ll call you as soon as possible” or something similar will go a long way in calming them and sends a reassurance that you have them in mind.
So, critically appraise your relationship. If the communication has drastically waned such that they aren’t keeping you at the top of their mind as they should, it is either because they have lost interest in you or they no longer respect you. And none of these options is appealing.
3. They Don’t Pull Their Weight In The Relationship
How does someone pull their weight in this context? Well, simple. By putting effort into the relationship. If you are asking questions like: is my partner taking me for granted? Or, how do you know if you are being taken for granted? The basic way to get your answers is by evaluating if they are putting any effort to keep the relationship working fine.
No doubt, during courtship – that is, before you guys got on the relationship train – he made several efforts to gain your approval and build trust in your heart. He gave you attention and affection and always strived to ensure your general satisfaction.
Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but if your man no longer shows you affection or makes any attempt to remind you of his love, then you are of little, if any, value to him right now.
Affection is not bargainable in a relationship. No matter how busy he is, how tight his schedule is, or how tired he is, you deserve to be shown love and attention too. Something just has to give.
If he is unwilling to do things that make you happy, it is a wrong sign. And let me make this clear, if you realize you are the only one expressing intimacy in your relationship, then you might want to evaluate where you stand in the affair.
4. They Consistently Cheat On You
Once is a mistake, twice is a coincidence, but thrice is a choice. I shouldn’t even be giving second chances in this case since cheating is often a deal-breaker for many people. But, for some men who cheat, it could be a lapse in concentration or a momentary mistake.
Mind you, I am not making excuses for cheating. Cheating is subjective, so every couple must seek to gain mutual clarity concerning what constitutes cheating in their relationship. Now, in some cases, a faithful partner might choose to call it quits even if she still loves the man. (candidly, this is easier said than done)
While in other cases, after considering the peculiarities concerning the experience, you could decide to forgive him and disregard the issue as a mistake. Perhaps, he may claim to be remorseful and you just want to give him a second chance.
However, if he goes on to constantly cheat on you, it shows he doesn’t care about you. Maybe you are married with kids and are choosing to ignore his infidelity because of the kids.
Well, what this does is make your partner feel as though he can get away with cheating since you never really take any serious action. He will continue to take advantage of you, devalue you, and disrespect you because he feels you are indebted to him.
At this stage, the relationship is totally toxic and must be ended. You are beautifully made and must never let any man treat you like trash! Your pride is important, but your dignity matters more. So if he constantly cheats on you without remorse, don’t hesitate to leave that relationship.
5. They Are Unwilling To Make Sacrifices
There is no relationship where sacrifices haven’t been made. For both parties to peacefully coexist, they must be willing to make compromises at some point in the relationship.
You might have to give up something you love just to make your relationship or marriage work, but he must also be willing to do the same. If you have been the one caring for a particular task but are unable to continue in the meantime due to certain reasons, he should be ready to step in for you without grumbling.
However, if your man has stubbornly refused to make compromises that will improve your relationship but wants all the sacrifices to come from your end, it shows he doesn’t value what you both share.
6. They Won’t Tell Their Family About You
One of the signs you’re being taken for granted comes in form of the relationship your partner has allowed you to create with his immediate family – that is if they even know about you.
If your partner is unwilling to tell his parents or family about you, what message does it send?
That he is not certain you are the one he wishes to settle down with? That he isn’t comfortable telling people about you? That he is only cruising along with you for the meantime?
It is normal if a man chooses to keep your identity away from his folks while you guys try to cement your relationship to a stable level. But if this secrecy continues after an extended period while he continues giving unreasonable reasons as to why he won’t introduce you to them, you need to set things straight and know where you stand.
7. They Try To Lower Your Self Esteem
If your man tries to emotionally manipulate you by making you think you are not good enough, this is another sign to watch out for. Yes, men naturally want to be dominant partners. They want to be respected and want their opinions to always count.
They want you to come to them for advice as much as they want you to heed their suggestions. They want you to always feel safe and protected around them and to reach out to them if you are ever unsure about a decision.
However, if you realize that you’re being manipulated into doing things you naturally wouldn’t do or saying things you normally wouldn’t say, you really need to check whether you are in the right relationship.
Emotional manipulation is almost similar to emotional blackmail, and most times, the victims don’t even know they are victims. You find yourself doing your best to gain his approval and being scared of displeasing him.
Soon enough, you are having to apologize for some of the things you say or do in order not to get on his wrong side. He controls your life such that you have to hide to eat certain kinds of food, meet some of your friends, or engage in certain activities.
They decide when they want to be with you and when they need space and you have no option than to accept their decision. They even go as far as deciding what you wear and when you use your phone.
Everything about this is not only creepy but also reeks of toxicity. If you are in a relationship like this, ask yourself what is keeping you from leaving and rebuilding your mental strength. You deserve a better life, but you have to reach for it.
8. Your Physical Intimacy Has Experienced A Change
For two parties to enjoy and gain sensual satisfaction, they must not only both be keen on the activity but also give as equally as they receive. If your man wants to get down with you and is unwilling to give you the emotional intimacy you crave, it may be that he is taking advantage of you.
If he no longer wants to cuddle with you, hold your hands, hold you in a tight embrace, or kiss you, this is a sign that you are not in a healthy relationship.
If he is making you beg for his affection or acting as though you are the only beneficiary from intimate moments in the relationship, the thought of this alone is already scary. The bottom line is, your mental health is vital in any relationship. If your partner continually toys with it, you need to check where you are headed.
Communication is important in every relationship, so while you should never accept being forced or pressured into anything physical, you must also strive to understand the reason for their behavioral change.
9. You Are Not Their Priority
Similar to being treated with respect, another way to find out if you are being taken for granted is by recognizing where you stand in your partner’s scale of preference. Hopefully, you are not at the bottom, or anywhere close to it.
Of course, you cannot expect to be the most important thing in your man’s life every time, but you ought to be their priority more times than you are not unless something is wrong.
If they often put other things before you, if they always make promises and forget them, if they are always late to your date nights, if they always choose to spend time with their friends over you, if they choose to work late often than reasonable, if they are always attending to personal matters while with you, then you are not their priority and you might want to wonder why.
As I’ve mentioned already, every great relationship involves some level of compromise. Both parties must be willing and ready to make sacrifices if indeed their partner’s happiness is significant.
10. Your Feelings Don’t Matter To Them
Ask yourself this question and reply honestly. Does your partner regularly disregard your feelings? One of the signs you’re being taken for granted is when your partner treats you like a joke. If he is ready to throw to the curb at a moment’s notice, then you don’t need any further proof that you are valueless to him.
Imagine you are on a hangout with friends and during one of the conversations, he makes a horrible joke about you. A joke only he laughs to and even his friends can’t believe he would say something like that. The sad part? He doesn’t even know he said something not nice.
So you get home and after settling down, you bring up his joke and ask him why he would say something so hurtful. But instead of being sorry, what does he do or say?
He lambasts you for being too emotional and sensitive. He said you need you to work on your insecurity because you can’t get simple funny jokes, and then finally, he gets up and stomps into the room which he locks after him. What vibes are you feeling?
He. Doesn’t. Care.
Okay, let’s imagine for a second that he didn’t know the joke was hurtful. If he cares about your feelings, he would place himself in your shoes and apologize for his actions. But because you mean nothing to him, he’s decided to keep malice with you.
This is part of the obvious signs you’re being taken for granted. Talking about placing himself in your shoes…
11. They Don’t Want To See Things From Your Angle
Making joint decisions is one thing that defines a happy relationship. While couples do not necessarily agree on every issue and often get into disagreements, these differences in opinion should not be a cause for alarm unless there is no love in the relationship.
A man who cares about your feelings, even after voicing his frustration or signaling an air of finality with his decision, will try to examine the issue from a different angle by reflecting on his partner’s point of view.
If you notice, you’d see that most of the points in this article are interrelated. Reflecting on your partner’s opinions shows openness and trust on the man’s part, going one step further to act on their suggestions shows a willingness to make sacrifices or compromises and is a sign of a promising future together.
However, if your partner shows no interest in your suggestions or opinions or tries to question you unreasonably it is a sign that he does not value you.
12. They Don’t Ask For Your Opinion
The previous point buttresses the importance of men listening to their partner’s suggestions, but what if he doesn’t even seek your opinion in any way? What if he sees you only as a tool for pleasure and doubts your ability to deliver meaningful points?
What if he decides to ask others – perhaps neighbors, friends, or coworkers – for advice while leaving you out because…well because he thinks you are not worth it or you are not intellectually sound.
Not only is this demeaning, but it also emphasizes your lowly place in the relationship. If your man is guilty of this, you need to have an honest conversation with him, unless of course, you don’t think yourself intellectually sound.
13. They Don’t Treat You As Well As They Treat Others
If your partner treats his family, friends, and colleagues with greater respect and love than he treats you, you don’t need any help reading the handwriting on the wall.
Perhaps, he speaks so highly of some particular friends but he would never praise you, or he listens when others counsel him, but would quickly throw your advice in the bin, these are all signs you’re being taken for granted.
14. They Don’t Appreciate You
Do you go off making excuses for your partner’s inability to say ‘thank you’ by saying it’s a masculine thing to be less expressive with words or to be more emotionally withdrawn? That’s wrong.
Any man that loves you will never get tired of speaking of his love; he will never stop short of appreciating your existence in his life because it would make him less of a man.
If your partner always disregards your efforts to please him or makes a mockery of your sacrifices for him, it is one of the signs you’re being taken for granted.
15. They Make Ridiculous Demands
Your boyfriend or husband is your partner, not your Lord. He deserves to be respected, but there’s a thin line between showing a man respect and serving him. As I have mentioned several times, never displease yourself to please another person.
If your man makes unusual demands like insisting you ditch certain friendships or connections or that you forgo certain interests for his sake while he is unwilling to do the same for you, end that relationship because it is unhealthy.
Conclusion
So, that’s it. If you are looking for signs you’re being taken for granted, you’ve got a whole lot of them up there. Take your time to assimilate the points and allow them to register deep within you.
If a large amount of them align with your current relationship, then you can be certain you have been in a toxic mess. Would you rather continue pleasing a man who consistently disrespects you, or would you take the step today to put your feelings and interests first? The decision rests with you.
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