Alright, come on and spill the tea. I’m guessing somehow, you’ve gone and found yourself in the talking stage again, right?
That awkward period when you’re not sure if he’s looking at you because he thinks you’re cute, or because the cabbage from last night’s salad is stuck in your teeth. I get you, boo. I get you. There is absolutely no reason to be ashamed here, these things happen to the best of us.
Men are naturally less expressive than women, so it might be difficult to tell if they’re hitting on you or not. Surprisingly, some obvious signs give them away. Body language does a bad job of hiding a man’s intentions or thoughts towards you.
However, there are some sneaky, subtle signs that you might even miss if you’re not paying attention, but they also count as signs that a guy is really turned on by you.
So, to save yourself the nail-biting anxiety that comes with a new crush, I’ve put together a list of ten signs a guy is really into you. Plus, some pick-up lines to help you get the ball rolling.
There’s no need to thank me, darling. What are friends for?
1. He Makes Eye Contact
My grandmother used to say, “the eyes are the mirror of the soul.” Right now, there’s no greater truth than this. To understand someone better, pay attention to the subtle messages they pass across with their eyes.
The thing with guys is, they like to measure if you are on the same wavelength as they are… without saying a single word. One of the easiest ways to do that is by looking into your eyes. I know, I know, maybe I’ve been reading too many romance novels, but it does work.
I’m not saying it’s impossible, but it is pretty difficult to fake that first spark of attraction you see in each other’s eyes.
If he makes eye contact and holds it, and probably smiles at you, please make sure you do not blurt out something along the lines of, “Oh, you have teeth. I have teeth as well!”
Please. There aren’t enough holes to swallow all of us. The second-hand embarrassment is real.
Suggested pick-up line 1: “Do you have a map? Cause I feel I’m getting lost in your eyes.”
2. You Catch Him Staring
They also like to look at you from time to time and may go out of their way to do so. I’m not saying they’re going to jump out of a taxi just to catch a glimpse of your face though.
Those glances from time to time are signs that a guy is really turned on by you. Guys can be surprisingly subtle when you least expect it.
It’s often difficult to admire someone while they’re watching you, anyway. Things switch up real quick and the situation gets awkward fast.
If you do catch him staring, though – and that may be because you’ve been sneaking glances at him as well – you can then lock eyes.
Suggested pick-up line 2: “Sorry I was staring. It’s not every day you get to see perfection up close.”
3. He Seems Nervous When He’s Usually Calm
To be honest, this doesn’t always happen, but if you notice him shuffling his feet or wringing his hands or tripping over his shoelaces when he knows you’re watching, there’s a very slight chance that your very presence is doing things to him, and it’s an undeniable sign that a guy is really turned on by you.
Even doing things he’s normally very good at – like his job – may seem choppy and haphazardly done. Such is the price one must pay for love, I suppose.
Sometimes, he may be talking casually with his friends, but the moment he sees you, all he can do is smile and wave. He may look constipated sometimes.
Please, don’t call him out on it. Instead, you can use the opportunity to lead the conversation. Make him comfortable with you and chip in some random questions to see if you’re compatible.
Suggested pick-up line 3: “It looks like you’re not sure what to do with your hands. I have a few ideas.”
4. He Asks Intimate Questions
First of all, ‘intimate’ doesn’t automatically mean “sexual.” Questions about your dreams, hobbies, fears… those are pretty intimate.
I’m certain you wouldn’t pull up next to a traffic warden to tell her all about how college has frustrated you, how unfair life is that your cat has begun to sleep over at your neighbor’s house and that you’ve decided to become a stripper.
If he asks questions like that, he’s likely trying to find out what kind of person you are, what makes you tick. He needs to see if you’re compatible too, you know.
And he most likely is waiting for the right opportunity to chip in his obvious interest directly. This is a pretty straightforward sign that a guy is really turned on by you.
However, if he’s asking whether or not you wear lingerie, or about your kinks, it’s very likely he’s in it for the coitus.
You need to be sure that you’re on the same page unless you’re interested in the ever-booming market supply of tissue paper and eye drops.
5. He Touches You Whenever Possible
Guys get very touchy when they’re around women they’re sensually attracted to. It’s a pretty bold sign that a guy is really turned on by you.
This can go either way, depending on what kind of person you are. If you’re not so cool with touch, now’s the time to let him know, and see if exceptions can be made.
On the other hand, if physical touch is one of your love languages, you may be in luck. Encourage touch by smiling at him whenever he initiates them or holding on to him.
However, if he touches you in a way you’re not comfortable with, remove his hand immediately and tell him to stop. You don’t plan to ‘change’ him later in the game or tolerate things that make you uneasy. If you don’t speak up immediately, he won’t see a problem with it later on.
Suggested pick-up line 4: “If you like these cheeks this much, you’ll love the others.”
6. You Can’t Help The Intuition
You’ve probably heard talk about female intuition around. Seriously, it’s some sort of default matchmaking radar that goes into a frenzy every time a cute guy is within sight. And, I kid you not, your intuitive deductions are pretty accurate, more often than not, even if they seem illogical.
A lot of the time, you just know. Maybe by the way he pauses whatever he’s doing every morning to say hello, maybe by the way he listens to you. Probably by the way he asks others about you when you’re not around. Or maybe telepathy is one of your many talents.
Or, you know, he helps you on a project you’ve been finding difficult. Small gestures are just as important as bigger ones. It’s just hard to tell sometimes if he’s tying your shoelaces as a friend, or as the future father of your kids.
Pay attention to your gut feelings, ladies. They will help you spot any sign that a guy is really turned on by you, even if there are no obvious indications.
7. He Shows Off His Manliness
Don’t let social media fool you, guys do the most when they like a girl. They can go to any length to show it. I’m talking making their house spotless, holding doors open for you, getting involved when someone even looks at you the wrong way. These are all just a sign that a guy is really turned on by you.
Sometimes they offer to help you do things you already have under control, which may rub you the wrong way. Don’t fret, they’re not trying to disrespect you.
Oftentimes, they’re giving into the standards society has set – that they have to protect and take care of their partner. Once again, if you don’t like what he’s doing, speak up. Compromises are always possible – especially when the problem is addressed early.
Suggested pick-up line 5: “Careful now, if you open another door for me, I’ll start to think you’re in love.”
8. He Flirts With You
This one’s pretty obvious, right? If he follows your good morning with, “You look like my missing rib”, it’s flirting.
Playful flirting is a good start to any relationship. You get to gauge each other’s humor levels and how ‘deep’ they are. You may be surprised to see how fast he can go from harmless banter to R-rated lines.
Flirting also helps you get a clear idea of just the kind of person your guy would be in bed and what to expect: slow and sensual, or reckless and explosive. It does a great job of tricking both your minds into fantasizing about your expectations.
Note: if he uses that, “I can turn your Ha Ha Ha to Ah Ah Ah,” line, please don’t laugh. Be nice. Not everyone is good at flirting, it’s a skill on its own.
Suggested pick-up line 6: “I don’t see how you’re not tired, since you’ve been running around my mind all week.”
9. He Wants To Be Around You
Escorting you to places, offering to help you find things, casually sitting next to you when there are other places he could be… yeah, those are definite signs that a guy is really turned on by you. If you smell nice, don’t be surprised to catch him sniffing you once or twice. It’s normal.
He might choose to go somewhere with you that’s completely out of his way, just so he can listen to you talk – or smell you. That’s also a possibility. Find out.
If you’ve noticed all the signs so far, you can surprise him by asking him out on a date. Sure, it’s unusual, but what does that matter? He’ll be caught off guard and maybe impressed by your taking initiative.
The only way this will backfire is if he’s someone who finds such actions to be “challenging his masculinity”. Talk about this as well.
Who will pay the bills? You? Him? Will you go Dutch? Who’s picking the location? Who is picking the other person up? Clear communication is essential, no matter what.
10. He Texts Back With The Speed of Light
Alright, you’ve given him your number in preparation for the date. Good. You can now proceed to text all through the night like the hopeless romantics you probably are.
Leave you hanging? He wouldn’t dare. He texts back faster than Flash. Usain Bolt got nothing on him. After displaying all the signs on this list, he’s probably as taken with you as you are with him.
Now, we must see how he texts. If he texts u lyk dis, and you don’t like it, speak up. Especially if he’s somewhat well-spoken. It’s always disconcerting to see the transition.
I understand that it’s an informal setting and abbreviations are allowed, but there’s no harm in communicating clearly.
Signs He Likes You Through Texts
1. He Asks For Spams
This should be plain as day to spot as a sign that a guy is really turned on by you. Bonus points to him if he says, “Now my gallery has been blessed,” or something equally cheesy.
2. He Uses Your Photos
This may be his lock screen, wallpaper, display photo, or maybe even his phone case. He might also post you on his story often – let’s not wonder if other people can see it just yet. Anything. The possibilities are honestly endless, with how technology is.
3. He Sends You Memes
For guys that aren’t very expressive, this is usually one way they show that they like you. They found something funny and they’re sharing it, to make you laugh as well. It’s an understated, yet heart-warming gesture that’s a subtle, not so subtle sign that a guy is really turned on by you.
4. He Texts in Future Tense
He constantly talks about how much he “wishes you were here” and “can’t wait to see you”. He also thinks about things that you both will do together once you get together. It’s a great sign that a guy is really turned on by you when he keeps seeing you in his future.
5. He Writes You Long Texts
There’s no turning away from this one. If a guy isn’t smitten by you, he won’t take the thought and time to send you a long text about how he feels about you.
This is just another sign that a guy is turned on by you, and yeah, be encouraging. Don’t just go “aww” “so cute”. Be expressive and show him that you appreciate the effort. Write a long epistle of your own and let him know how you feel, too.
Now, you might be gritting your teeth and thinking back to the many times you missed these signs that a guy is really turned on by you and had to go to bed alone all those cold nights.
Well, it’s never too late to learn. Keep your eyes peeled, radars out, and puns at the back of your mind. You’re good to go, sis!