15 Obvious Signs He Pretends To Love And Want You

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You are probably having doubts and looking for signs he pretends to love you, and that can be such a terrible place to be in.

We all want to love and be loved, and we want our love to stand the test of time. But the journey to love is sometimes laden with twists and turns.

We meet the good, the bad, and the ugly. Sometimes the good stays, sometimes they go maybe because of our faults or the fault of our stars.

Sometimes we meet the bad or the ugly; these ones only pretend to love and care for selfish reasons. In this article, we would x-ray some of the signs to look out for in case the bad or the ugly show up.


15 Signs He Pretends To Love You

So, what are the signs he pretends to love you? Here are some of them


1.  He is Sweet To You Only When He Wants Something

So, you have this guy that you are head over heels for, and you are looking for signs he pretends to love you. Then you only need to observe his behavior towards you.

Does he show care and concern all the time? Is he consistent with his character? Is his sweetness a constant thing or something that happens occasionally?

Ever wondered why he is ever so sweet when his birthday is approaching? It could be that he is just being nice so you could get something for him on his birthday.

Does he only send you cute night texts just a few days before he asks you for a favor? After his cute good night texts, he shows up or contacts you to lend him some cash.

And immediately his needs are met, he no longer has time for you. If you notice this in your man, then there is every chance he is pretending to love you.


2.  He Never Takes The Initiative To Do Anything

What’s one of the sure-fire signs he pretends to love you? He never initiates anything. Normally, men are initiators. They see someone they like; they go after the person and most times take a lot of No before a yes.

And this doesn’t usually deter them; the possibility of getting a no. While there is no stated rule that men must be the initiators, men still like to be proactive as it concerns who they care about.

So, this means that if you are the one who is always calling first, always texting first, then there might be a problem. A man that loves you would sometimes take the driving seat and plan dates, invite you to travel with him, and call or text you first. If he does not take the initiative at all, then maybe, he doesn’t care about you like that.


3.  He Flirts With Other Girls

If you want to know how a man truly feels about you, check the way he interacts with other girls.

A man who loves and respects you will not flirt with other girls. And even if they are tempted to, they would not dare do it openly.

It would always be in their mind that they are doing something wrong. But if he is not into you that much, he will flirt with other girls. And even more so, flirt with them openly right in your face.

This is because he has no respect for you. When you discover that he is flirting with other ladies, confront him with evidence and then pay attention to what comes out of his mouth.

If he tries defending himself and saying it was just a harmless affair, then you have your red flag. A man that loves you will pay attention to you alone and not be distracted by other ladies available.


4.  He Hides Some Parts Of His Life From You

What more could be a sign enough that someone is not into you if they treat you as an outsider?

While people are generally guarded when they meet someone new, they tend to open up and lay their guards down so the person can understand them.

But if, after a while, you notice that there are some things, important things he hides from you, then maybe he does not really think you are worth it.

And what’s worse? You notice that he has actually been sharing those details he keeps from you with another. Your partner or prospective partner should try as much as possible to be an open book, at least to you. But when there are restrictions, walls, and guards, it is a sign that you may not be welcome into his life.


5.  He Does Not Miss You

Have you ever intentionally broken a communication line just to see if the other person would call, and then you waited for days and no text or call from the person?

What does that tell you about the person? Does it not show that such a person does not really care much about your friendship? It is the same thing here.

Your man should always reach out to know what’s up with you. Either via calls or texts if it is a long-distance relationship. The calls and texts are evidence that they need and miss you.

They will also be excited whenever they have the chance to see you face to face; they will be eager to always see you. But if a man stays days without talking to you, this shows that he does not rate you at all and does not miss you. This is a clear sign that he pretends to love you.


6.  He Just Wants Physical Intimacy

What are the signs he pretends to love you? One of the sure ways to catch someone who is lying about their love for you is by delaying or denying him physical intimacy.

When you do this, you will discover that those who are interested in physical intimacy alone would get tired and let you be. Some men are quite patient and stay for much longer, constantly pestering you to make love with them.

Some others would want to pressure or bully you to give in. They threaten to leave the relationship or cheat with others if you are not coming along as they would want you to be. So, if you notice this trait in the man who claims they love you then it is a red flag.


7.  He Does Not Talk About The Future

When mature people enter a relationship, they do so for a purpose. There is always a goal, a future that is looked forward to.

So, how many times has your man made mention of your future? What plans is he making as regards that future?

How does he react when you even broach the subject? Do you people have a meaningful conversation, or does he always try to cut corners and wriggle out of the concerns you raised? A genuine relationship will always have future plans.

It could be marriage; it could be kids (born, adopted, or via surrogacy); it could be financial plans; it could be travel, work, or academic plan. But when he always says you should not bother about the future, then maybe it is because he does not see you in it.

When you notice that your man is evasive and aloof whenever you raise the question of the future, then it is time for you to evaluate your options. Stay and hope he comes around, or leave for someone who actually values you.


8.  He Asks For A Secret Relationship

What is one of the major signs he pretends to love you if not this? Does your man want your relationship secret? Is he always avoiding being seen with you in public? Have you tried holding his hands affectionately in public, and he slipped out his hands, quietly dismissing the impending PDA?

Have you ever gone out with him and he introduced you to his friends as his ‘friend’? While it is true that some people do not want to bring their relationship to the limelight of social media, it is a cause for worry if your man forbids you from even posting as much as his picture online.

This might mean that he is not proud of you, has not decided your place yet in his life, or has not made up his mind to commit to you. It could even be worse. It might be that he is cheating on you and does not want the other party to know he is also involved with you.


9.  He Does Not Put You Into Consideration While Making Decisions

One of the ways to know how much a person values you is how much they involve you when making decisions. Your man is meant to consider your input before he makes his final decisions, whether it pertains to both of you or him personally.

If that does not happen, then you may be the side chic. It is improper for you to hear of your partner’s plan to relocate from someone else. It is improper for him to switch jobs or careers without letting you in on his plans.

If he takes vital life decisions without considering you, then that simply means that he does not value you. And what is the point of being in a relationship where your opinion does not matter, where you are not valued as a person?

It is imperative for two people who are in a relationship to share ideas, bounce thoughts off each other for sharpening, and generally help each other grow. So, if these are strange things in your relationship, you may have to re-evaluate.


10.  He Isn’t Available Or Accessible To You When You Need Him

One of the ways to detect that he is not just that into you is how accessible he is to you. Can he show up in your lows?

Granted, your man cannot be perfect, should not be perfect, but at least he should show up. He should be present in your life.

No matter how busy he is, he is supposed to make out time for you. You should see him making genuine efforts to spend time with you.

If he really cares for you, then he has to make it a point of duty to always show up on two major occasions: your good days (days when the sun shines brightest when you smash your goals and reach a milestone) and your bad days (when you fail something or at something, when you are sick). But if he is never around in any of these, then there is a problem.


11.  He Is Never Straight With You

Not being totally honest or straight with you is one of the signs he pretends to love you. No matter the kind of relationship you have with a person, lies, and half-truths are red flags.

And sometimes they are signs that the person you are in with is hiding something. People lie basically because they have something to hide.

And what if what he is hiding is the truth about how he really feels about you? Is it wise to invest emotionally and otherwise in a relationship with someone who is dishonest?

He lies about his location, does not tell you the full story on why he wants to go on that trip, ignores your call only to tell you later that he didn’t see it,

and lies to you about what he used a large chunk of money for, says he is going for a meeting only to make a u-turn and go hang out with friends. When a man constantly slights you, then it might be an indication that he is not really interested.


12.  He Gives A Lot Of Excuses

One of the signs he pretends to love you is excuses. Take stock of your relationship. Have you gotten more excuses than attempts to better the relationship? How does your partner react when you raise concerns about your relationship and stuff that pertains to you and life generally?

For example, you raise the issue of him not communicating with you properly, and what do you get? An apology and then actions to back it up? Or a string of excuses on how busy his life is and how you are focusing on things that do not matter?

The truth is that when you are in a relationship with someone, you try as much as possible to please the person, to make them happy, relaxed, and assured in your love.

But when you ask for these assurances, and it is met with excuses, it could just be because you are with someone who is only pretending to dig you.


13.  He Does Not Make You Meet Friends Or Family

One thing is true about basically all men. They are egoistic and like to show off what they care about. That is why men will strive to get the most beautiful woman in the room.

They may not really like her that much but they want to make a statement, to show off, to get bragging rights. They want people to know that they can be with the hottest chic and roll with the biggest boys. It is almost like their second nature.

So, if a man is in love with you, he is also proud of you and would always want to show you off. He does not hide you away in some dark recess of his life like a prisoner.

He will take you to see his family at Thanksgiving and invite you to hang out with the boys while they watch their town’s baseball team play. It should be a red flag if you are with a man who does not introduce you to his friends at least.


14.  He Shows No Interest In Your Life

One of the signs he pretends to love you is when he shows no interest in your life in any way. Imagine you are telling him about a crucial moment or time in your career and he is typing away or giggling at his phone. He does not pay attention to what you are saying.

He does not really know any important date in your life. Even on your birthdays, you are treated as an afterthought. He calls you at the end of the day, citing how busy he was that he could not so much as send a birthday text to you.

There has never been a time he asked you about your life before you two met, how your growing up was like, your family. It is almost as if he is an onlooker.

A man who genuinely loves you shows interest in and participates in your life. You can only get a man who really loves you to pay attention to some of those tiny yet important tidbits of your life.


15.  He Does Not Show Or Say He Loves You

a man loves you; it is often difficult to hide. You can see it in his actions; you can hear him say it, and you can feel it from the way he treats you.

When a man is pretending to love you, it will be hard for him to express his love for you, either in words or in action. Words and actions of affirmation are important in a relationship, and they show how partners see each other.

Even if your man is not vocal about his feelings for you, he should show you how much you mean to him. A man who genuinely loves you will want to please and impress you.

He sees something he thinks you’d love, and he’d get it for you because he wants you to stay happy. Men who love their partners go out of their way to show just how much they value them. Love is an action word.


Signs He Never Loved You

What are the signs he never loved you? Here they are:


1.  He Is Not Affectionate

Your man is supposed to show that he loves you in words and in deeds. How is he your partner when you don’t get random hugs and kisses from him? Rarely initiates any romantic gesture and is sluggish in responding to yours. This is one of the signs he pretends to love you.


2.  He Never Gifts You

It is not normal for a guy to be with a girl without getting her thoughtful gifts. How generous is he? Men pride in taking care of their partners, so if he does not get you gifts, then that’s a red flag.


3.  He Ignores Your Cry For Help

Men like to be seen as saviors, knights in shining armor, and superheroes. If he is always absent in your time of need, then he might not be that into you.


Signs He Is Forcing Himself To Love You

Are you having doubts and looking for signs he is forcing himself to love you? Here are some signs to look out for:


1.  He Isn’t Excited About You

One way to know if someone is forcing things is how such a person behaves when they see you or how they react to things pertaining to you.

Does your man show excitement when he sees you? Do you sense him in high spirits with you around? If he is faking it, it will be difficult for him to show true excitement about you.


2.  He Doesn’t Try To Speak Your Love Language

Your partner is meant to speak your love language, or at least try. Perhaps yours is an act of service, and that is hard for him, but you see him try anyway.

It shows that your partner is devoted to your happiness. When this is lacking, then he may not really like you like that.


3.  He Sets Others Above You

Does it feel like you are the side chic in your relationship? Does it feel like he gives others priority over you? Do you second guess your place in his life? If you answered yes to these three questions then you may not matter to him.


Signs He Pretends To Love You Through Text

Even virtually, you can observe signs he pretends to love you through text. Here are some of those signs:


1.  He Barely Starts A Conversation With You

One way to know that the feeling is not mutual is when you see that it is a chore for him to start a conversation with you.

Look at your texting and chats? Are you the one always saying hi first? Well, this might be because he doesn’t care.


2.  One-Word Replies

What makes a conversation interesting most times is how invested both people who are conversing are in their talk.

Do you find that you are the one always giving lengthy explanations, always talking about your day in detail, giving a run down on how your day went, even as much as sending a voice note? Yet he only replies with one word or a sentence. That is a good sign that he is so not interested in you.


3.  He Takes Forever To Reply Or Ignores Totally

One of the ways you can figure out if someone likes you is by how they reply to your texts.

Someone who loves you will reply to you as fast as possible so far they are available.

But if you find that it takes ages for him to reply, then that is a problem. Some could even not reply at all, leaving you to feel like a fool.


Why Do Guys Pretend To Love You?

After reading till this point, certainly, you must be wondering, ‘Why do guys pretend to love you?’ Guys pretend to love you mainly for the following reasons:


1.  Monetary Gain

Most people on the planet are driven by their needs. They do not care how others feel, provided they are okay. Guys will pretend to love you because of what he thinks they can gain in the relationship.

Perhaps the lady is rich or comes from a wealthy family, and the guy’s interest is in the money; he can pretend to love her just to get a chunk of the wealth.


2.  For Sensual Purposes

Sometimes, all the guy is interested in is bedding the girl. But when they realize that the girl cannot just make love with just about anybody but her partner, they tend to feign love just to get into her pants.


3.  To Win Bragging Rights

Sometimes, guys enter into a relationship with someone they don’t love just to prove a point. There have been cases where guys would place bets on whoever could get a particularly pretty girl to fall for them.

And because the love was not genuine from the start, it becomes difficult for the guy to show that he loves the lady in question.



You deserve love, true love, not just anyone that comes in disguise. This is why we wrote this article, “15 Signs He Pretends To Love You”, to give you an idea of what fake love looks like.

If and when you discover that your partner is simply taking you for a ride, you have to take a step back and access the relationship.

Ask yourself if that is the kind of relationship you want. If it is not, gently pull out and wait for true love to come knocking. You deserve the very best. Don’t settle.

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Author: Relationship Culture

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