Marry your best friend, they said, but many times your best friend doesn’t want to have anything to do with you. And if you are going to change that, you need to learn how to get out of friendzone.
The friend zone is such a terrible place to be, especially when you know how much better you could be as partners. You can see that their eyes do not suggest even the most minor romantic emotions.
No matter how much you try to make them see what you have to offer as a lover, they don’t get it, and most importantly, you could be risking an amazing friendship.
Getting out of the friend zone can be very tricky. If not done right, there is so much that you have to lose in the end. This might cause you to wonder:
Can Friendzone turn into relationship? The answer is Yes, you definitely can get out of the friend zone. However, many people cannot even tell when they are friend zoned.
So, the most pivotal question is, how can you tell if you got friend zoned? You are clearly in the friend zone when your friend continually deflects any romantic advance or reinforces their lack of interest in you.
Once in, the friend zone is a tough spot to get out of. So, can you get back out of the Friendzone? I would love you to answer that for yourself, especially once you can implement some of these into your life. With that said, let’s get started on how to get out of friendzone!
If you wish to get out of the friend zone, you must change how your friend sees you. First, you need to create a desirable image of yourself and spur your friend to see you as more.
If you are going to get out of the friend zone, you need to see how deep you are in it. Sometimes, this friend of yours will never be able to see you as anything else other than a friend, and even that is quite fine if you think about it.
Sometimes, we overestimate how much of a great lover a person will be for us simply because we assume they are our very good friends. But that isn’t always the case.
Aside from the fact that they might not be the ideal partner, in the event of a breakup, you would suffer heartbreak on two fronts: losing a lover and a friend.
However, you might miss out on what could be the best relationship in your life. So what then? You can start by checking out for these signs that you shouldn’t move to your friend.
I. They Are In A Relationship
Terrible timing. I do not recommend it at all. Trying to get out of the friend zone and assert yourself as a lover when your friend is in a relationship is a terrible idea.
Not only are you disrespecting your friend, but you are also signalling to them you are quite a selfish person.
No matter how much you want that friend to become a lover, it would be best if you let go once they have a partner. Besides, trying to move to them like that will get you rejected and leave a lot of awkwardness between you.
II. They Have Just Gotten Out Of A Relationship
The mistake that many couples make is assuming that because a person ended a relationship, then they must be ready for a new relationship, but this is far from true.
Your friend, at this point, is quite vulnerable and needs you as a friend, not a lover. If the breakup had been excruciating, they need to grieve, and trying to come out with your feelings at this point is pointless.
III. They Have Expressed Their Wish To Stay Single
People may decide to take a break and focus on themselves. If they express their wish to do this, it is not in your place to convince them otherwise.
If your friend says they do not wish to pursue a romantic relationship at that moment, then it is best for you to let it go.
IV. The Relationship Has No Purpose
We all need to accept the reality that only a few romantic relationships ever make it to the altar. Most end up as exes that we see once in a while on Facebook.
The only time it would make sense to pursue a relationship with a friend is if you are sure that the relationship will work and you want to do this with your friend forever.
If you are looking for something casual, you’ll lose an amazing friendship for a moment’s pleasure. And, as I said earlier, sometimes, it’s okay to just let go.
Once any of these three are present, then it is the wrong moment to shoot your shot. Try some other time, or carry on being the best friend that you can be.
However, if the coast is clear and you do wish to continue. Here are 15 ways you can get out of the friend zone:
1. Be Prepared For Rejection
The thing about shots is that they can fail. Yes, you want them, but what can you do if they say they don’t want you?
So, here is what can happen when you ask your friend out: Things get pretty awkward, and they start to treat you differently.
If you are going to make a pass at your friend, one thing you should consider is if you get rejected, how do you intend to handle it?
How will you get past the awkwardness that ensues? Once you can decide what will happen following a rejection, you can carry on.
Make sure that you are ready to deal with the awkwardness that can exist between the both of you once you share your feelings with your friend.
I know you want to be optimistic about it, but it is even more complicated than you imagine. So go through the motions first and ask yourself if this is something you want to try.
2. Start With Touch
One thing that is often clear between friends is boundaries. Boundaries are what define friendship. If you are going to move from this friend zone,
then you have to make a move to get out of the zone by testing the waters. The first way that you can do this is with touch.
Start by touching your friend and grow bolder with each touch. Next time you tell a hilarious joke, try a touch on the shoulder.
A shoulder touch can be really harmless, the same as a fist bump. Get your partner comfortable with this kind of non-intimate touch, and then progress from there.
While doing this, look for microexpressions such as disgust on the face or them shrinking away from your touch. If they do not show any of these signs, it means they are comfortable with you around them.
If they are comfortable with your touch, you can try more intimate touches like hugs or touching them for longer.
The thing about initiating touches like this is that it causes oxytocin release. Constantly touching your partner will make them connect more deeply with you.
Oxytocin release is what causes feelings of love and makes you bond. Trust that your friend will start to feel connected to you.
3. Spend Lots Of Alone Time With Them
There is a reason quality time is one of the love languages. If you are going to learn how to get out of friendzone, you need to be ready to make yourself available to have that connection with this person.
Spending lots of quality time with this person will create the needed bond. In addition, this quality time spent together will allow them to see fun bits of you.
Aside from spending time with them, make sure to get the dopamine rushing during these periods. That is, spend your alone time together doing entertaining activities.
For example, you can sign up for an acting class together or go hiking. The point is to make sure that you are alone with this person, and during that period alone with them, you are able to have the fun of your lives.
4. Compliment Them A Lot
Sometimes, people can not think of you romantically because you do not even show any romantic interest in them.
Complimenting a person can be a great way to show that you are interested in them. In addition, people love to be complimented.
So, if you are thinking of how to get out of friendzone with a woman, start by complimenting her. Tell her how you see her.
Tell her how attractive she is to you. This way, she will know that you see her as more than just another friend. You may have gone past the first barricade if she likes the attention.
Do not make the compliments too creepy or perverted. Being suggestive too early is definitely not how to get out of friendzone.
That will only creep her out too early and make her stay away from you, further ruining your chance.
5. Don’t Be So Desperate
The mistake that most people make is to try so hard to please their love interest. Even if you are supposed to spend lots of quality time with this person, do not try to force it.
Many people get into the friend zone because they give this person a reason not to chase them. The idea is to make them want you just as much as you want them.
And if you are going to do this, you have to give room for them to like you back. You might think that always being available will make them see you.
But that isn’t true. If you are going to be available, make sure that it is not always at their convenience lest, it is taken for granted.
Every moment you share with them should be memorable. Desperately doing everything will only make them see you as a friend. And that is definitely not how to get out of friendzone.
6. Try Seduction And Flirting When Appropriate
Once they have begun to warm up to your touches and compliments, It’s time to bring on the flirt game.
If you are going to flirt with a friend for the first time, don’t go full flirt with them, talking about sensual and nasty stuff. Instead, try to flirt in between jokes.
It would be best if you started with light touches when you make flirty comments. Also, flirt with your eyes. Maintain that intense eye contact as you flirt.
Flirting is definitely how to get out of friendzone with a man. By flirting with him, you are showing him your fun side and making him see you in a different way.
This is a great way to spark his interest in you because, in no time, he would be wondering what other sides of you he might be missing out on by just being friends.
7. Don’t Let Them Get Too Comfortable
This might sound somehow, but it is the truth. Desirability banks on romantic partners feeling the need to impress each other.
For example, as friends, she might want to tell you about all her weird, disgusting habits. She might even tell you about her man crushes and all the men, but if you are going to figure out how to get out of friendzone, you need first to stop being that friend.
Foremost, stop entertaining all that talk about her other men. She is comfortable telling you about all those men because she doesn’t see you as desirable.
If you are going to move out of the friend zone, then all that has to end. As a girl, if he is always leaning in too much and seeing you as a personal therapist to tell all his problems, he really isn’t into you.
Men often try to impress the women they are interested in and would at no point try to dump their baggage like that. If you are going to get out of that friend zone, you have to stop being that friend.
8. Try Not To Make Things Weird
You are trying to get out of the friend zone without getting into the weird zone, and frankly, it is quite easy to end up in the latter. One thing you should know is things can get really weird.
This is because suddenly you are asking this person to see you differently from how they have always seen you.
So, how to get out of friendzone is not to make it any weirder. Some of the weird things you are not to do include:
- Making a grand declaration of love
- Trying to manipulate them
- Acting very controlling and jealous when they aren’t even with you yet
- Acting needy
The point is to play the long game and show the person all the reasons they should be with you. It is already mind-puzzling for them to see you as more than a friend.
And acting in these weird ways will convince them even further that starting a romantic relationship with you must be a terrible decision.
9. Show Them All Your Romantic Sides
One sure way to do this is to lure them into discussions about relationships. If you are going to make a point about something you believe in about relationships,
you can say something like, “If I were your partner, I would…” Do not hesitate to tell them what your grand ideas about love are.
If possible, show them. Hold open the door, treat them with kindness, and buy thoughtful gifts. But remember that you have to do all this while making sure they are not mistaken as just friendly gestures.
As much as you show them this romantic gesture, you should also make sure it has a romantic undertone to it rather than a friendly gesture.
Showing your friend how much of a fantastic partner you can be is how to get out of friendzone.
10. Make Your Intentions Clear
This is probably the shortest and surest way how to get out of friendzone. A direct approach like this is very bold but can get you out of the friend zone.
As I said earlier, many times, there is a good chance that you are in the friend zone because they assume you cannot see them in that light.
In this case, how to get out of friendzone is to make it clear. Also, when you are about to be friend zoned, they often call you names like brother, sister, or family.
Stop them. Accepting these labels is what gets you in the friend zone. So instead, make it clear that you are not their friend and that you would wish to be more.
11. Make Sure It Is Mutual Feeling
This is probably the safest approach in how to get out of friend zone. You should look out for the signs that the person might be able to look at you that way.
Look out for subtle signs of attraction, like dilated pupils, and you can also try to initiate touch and see how they react to it.
If it is evident that they might be as interested, then that is a sign to make a move on them. Another direct way is to ask what they would think of the relationship.
12. Give Them Space And Let Them Miss You
If you have already made your intentions known and they have rejected you, then it is time to step back a little.
The point of taking a step is to make them see how much you really matter in their lives, and this is how to get out of the friend zone after rejection.
Sometimes, people are yet to come to the terms that they might actually have more feelings for you than just friendship.
To help them make this realisation, you should take a step back for a bit. This will give them a chance to think things through.
Also, with you no longer available in their lives, they can decide if they really want to take things to the next level.
Another benefit for you is that you can use the opportunity to help yourself deal with whatever feelings you may have.
Trying to stay around in the hope of getting a chance hardly ever works. Instead, walk away for a bit to help you and your love interest gain clarity on the relationship.
13. Let Them See The Benefits
Why ruin an amazing friendship only to get into a relationship that does not last for more than a year? This is often the question on most people’s lips when confronted with the idea of a relationship with a very good friend.
If you are going to get out of the friend zone, you will have to convince this friend that this isn’t another situation of two adults who are simply lusting over each other.
You should talk it out with this person and help them see where this could lead; this is how to get out of friend zone.
14. Talk About The Dynamics Of The New Relationship
The problem with getting into a relationship is that the relationship dynamics change, and this can affect your relationship in a way. Therefore, it is important you first address this.
Once you can reasonably talk it through, it is easier for your friend to see how feasible a relationship can be—having practical conversations about what could work in a new relationship is how to get out of friend zone.
15. Ask Them What They Look For In A Relationship
If you are too shy to approach this friend in person. Texting them and asking what they look for in the relationship will start conversations regarding relationships and subsequently help you get your point across without so much embarrassment.
After asking what they look for in a relationship, how to get out of the friend zone with a guy through texting is to immediately tell them how all of their wants in a relationship align with your strengths in the relationship.
Getting out of the friend zone can be very tasking and may result in awkwardness. Therefore, it is important that you play the long game because that is how to get out of friendzone,
don’t get too desperate or try to push this person into a relationship with you. Instead, work on making them see you very differently. Be clear about what you want and go for it.
You should also know that it is okay to remain friends without pursuing a romantic relationship. But if you are convinced that pursuing this relationship is in your best interests, then do it by all means.
You may be one of the lucky people who do end up marrying their best friend!
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